Dear Mr. Gaudy Yellow Hummer H2 Driver,
While I'm really very sorry to hear about the utterly insignifigant size of your genitals and the fact that you had to spend $40k on a pimped out Tahoe to compensate, I feel that this does not give you the right to ride my bumper down the highway, blaring your horn at me and flashing your high beams while I'm already passing slow traffic at 10 over the speed limit. It's really quite distracting and I'd like to respectfully request that you refrain from doing so in the future. As I'm sure you noticed, as soon as I cleared the slow traffic, I resumed my position in the right lane and allowed you to pass. I feel it was quite immature of you to flip me the finger as you passed. When I moved over into the left lane in front of you, you were several hundred feet back, so it's not like I cut you off. I merely slowed your 90 mph gas wasting spree down to about 75 for a short time. I hope that telling me off made you feel better. Sadly, it won't last. Next time you go to the bathroom, you'll look down and just start crying all over again.
The Driver of the WRB WRX Wagon on 91 Soutbound on Friday.