Dear *****, Teenage Subaru Edition!
Dear teenager in the mid 90's Outback wagon,
You need to give your car a tune-up or something. I know this because every one of the six times you floored it in front of me last Friday while I was on my way to get my lunch from work, I had to taste your crap oily stinky exhaust. I have no clue what you were trying to do there.
Dear teens in mom's silver 05-ish Subaru Forester XS on 95N tonight,
Thanks for driving like a complete asshat, and almost hitting me as you cut me off with no directional. I hope you liked the barrage of light from my high beams. Also, on behalf of all the others you almost killed tonight, do us all a favor and cancel yourself into a brick wall please.
The guy who thinks new drivers need both driving courtesy training and a year of intensive driving instruction.