*hmm lets see here.... (
taps pencil on checklist)
[X] Rev limiter
[X] SOHC w/ intake mod
[X] White Neon
[X] Red Neon
[ ] Black Neon
[X] Black steelies
[X] Huge fart can
[X] No Tint (or bad tint)
[X] Ugly ass stickers
[X] Fire extinguisher
Damnit! SO CLOSE! 
Dear fellow Neon owners,
Yes. Yes that IS an ACTUAL cage in my car.
No. It is not "trick".
No. I will not race you from the light.
No. There is no NOS(nawz) in my car.
No. The engine is not modified.
No. I'm telling you. See the giant P on my car - It means PRODUCTION.
No. I have no idea what it will run in the quarter mile.
No. Your tireflys aren't that cool.
Yes. Yes - after you crash that baby into a (select one: curb / gaurdrail / telephone pole / tree) shortly after street racing your 16 second Neon up against a (select one: Camaro / Porsche / Mini-van / Busload of kids) I will gladly take your car as spare parts.
- Kris
http://www.rallynotes.com