Dear Sir in the Caravan with fake wood paneling,
Please get up 5 minutes early and brush your teeth in your BATHROOM, not in your vehicle. I do not appreciate the swerving on Rt 413 on a rather dangerous blind hill while you consult the mirror to see how many leaves of basil you missed from last nights' dinner.
I also did not appreciate you opening your door at the light in front of me and spitting your yellow, frothy mouthful of backwashed sludge and toothpaste out your door. It made me want to vomit.
Very disgustfully yours,