Yeah I tried that. Since the car is DBW, the throttle body doesn't rely on it as a stop when powered up.
I send the ECM back to AEM, they said there was a relay or something inside that was bad. Long story short it still doesn't work.
So I've gone back to the stock computer and like magic the idle is perfect. I'll probably start tuning with the factory ecu and Access Race.
I have to assume there is a issue with either the patch harness or AEM ems that isn't obvious to me. I checked the for proper pin out and it was ok, but maybe there a bad connectivity issue or something in the patch harness.