Originally Posted by Girion47
So you're a snitch over something harmless. Got it.
Yes, because I have a lease, and in the terms of that lease included that the building is completely non smoking (also non pet). I pay quite a bit of money to live here under this agreement. The other tenants also agreed to this, and apparently had no intention of upholding their contract.
Harmless? I work in a heavily regulated industry (as you seem to), and my girlfriend is a pediatrician in private practice. Many of my friends are also in regulated industries, and her friends are largely medical practitioners. I don't care to take risks with both of our lives.
Let me tell you, there's nothing better than meeting your mother, sister, niece, and 2 nephews at your door through a cloud of pot smoke.
I know pot heads want to think they have no negative impact to those around them, and that's exactly what these guys thought (I spoke with the landlord after it had happened, and he said even after he explained everything, they still didn't understand). Doesn't make it true.
Just like you enjoying your exhaust note and not finding it 'loud' doesn't make it true for everyone else.
Where I was going with this originally was that understand your lines. You have really 3 distinct levels here:
1) Illegal - if they complain, you're likely ****ed, no matter what argument you bring to the table.
2) Annoying, but legal - you're just a dick if you choose to ignore the complaints. It's not illegal to be a dick.
3) Be a considerate neighbor, and address it. Now, I'm going to believe what you believe and say you solved it. Great. Do remember though, if they are like me, and didn't want to talk to you in the first place, when you came to talk to me about it I would've said whatever I thought would make you go away the soonest and end the conversation. This would not be a reflection of my future feelings toward the matter.
Really all I ever want from my neighbors is to never know they exist. I extend the same courtesy to them and try to make myself completely unnoticed.
Originally Posted by rogue
Thanks for playing.
The note was NOT subtle or non-assertive. It was direct and to the point.
There is no "side of the story" to be told. The car was loud and waking people up at pre-dawn hours. He does not have a tale to tell of his car woes. That's it.
Sorry, but you're just wrong.
YOU want a dialogue. Great for you! Good luck with that. Not everything gets to be argued in open court. Sometimes you just have to take the criticism and deal with it, not jump up on your horse and defend your own honor.
Exactly right. This is not aggressive at all. It is specifically non-aggressive. To confront someone is aggressive. You can be passive in that confrontation, or direct in that confrontation. A note is specifically NON aggressive, unless you word it in a rather specific manner. The entire purpose is to avoid unnecessary or unwanted confrontation.
If the neighbor came up to him and said like "Hey neighbor, that exhaust of yours, kinda has some bass to it hey? Real deep rumble. Could really rattle some windows!"
That would be passive-aggressive.