I've never heard that overtightening can bend the filter. Oil filters are pretty tough.
You hand tighten so that the filter can be more easily removed at the next change.
Also, you coat the rubber gasket with a light film of old oil to help seal it. If I were you, I'd get an OE filter or at least a Bosch filter or better and stay away from Fram (not saying you're using a Fram, just saying stay away from them).