why do i feel bad? i knew he was in trouble but..

NJSwamplands · 12-01-2009, 01:28 PM

i could see it coming. didnt take school seriously. didnt take work seriously. all he wanted to do was drugs and bang chicks.

he started asking for drug money and then stealing it from my wallet. then stealing from work, then stealing from others.

i tried to smack him out of it. talk him out of it. nothing good came out of it. he just kept getting more and more out there.

damn good friend but he could only see the glory of hookers and blow. he went too far one way and i could not stop the train.

i found out today he pleaded guilty to killing his gf in some rundown downtown hotel.

i saw the road of him sucking but damn this really hurts. my apologies to all that he hurt. i tried. sorry i have the :failboat:

just needed to vent. carry-on soldiers.

* Registered users of the site do not see these ads.

Brock31 · 12-01-2009, 01:31 PM

personal remorse for the failings of others?

OriginalSin · 12-01-2009, 01:33 PM

geez.

NJSwamplands · 12-01-2009, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brock31

personal remorse for the failings of others?

maybe i should have done an intervention or something and someones daughter wouldnt be dead

sperry · 12-01-2009, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brock31

personal remorse for the failings of others?

Sounds more like (unwarranted) personal remorse for the failings of himself to help out others.

NJS, just remember that you can only help people that don't want help so much. No matter what you did, unless your friend wanted to make his life better, ultimately anything you did to help was just turd polish. Perhaps now in prison he can get sober and pick himself up from rock-bottom.

Gundoo · 12-01-2009, 01:37 PM

unamused · 12-01-2009, 01:38 PM

Damn, that`s heavy. But the failure is not with you, as a matter of fact for even trying, far from it.

o_+

rogue · 12-01-2009, 01:39 PM

What the...

I thought you were doing some obscure lyrics thread for a minute.

Sorry to hear the bad news, but I highly doubt it's your fault. Hindsight is always 20/20, but were you really going to tackle the guy and force him to get his life on track because he stole some money from your wallet?

Also... why was this girlfriend with him, if he's a thieving hookers-n-blow addict?

Brock31 · 12-01-2009, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NJSwamplands

maybe i should have done an intervention or something and someones daughter wouldnt be dead

Man, you can't take responsibility for the actions of others. It took me a long time to figure that one out. You can play the "what if I..." or " I should have.." game all you want, it will only make you feel worse. The fact that he killed somebody sucks, don't get me wrong, but beating yourself up over it is useless. ( Unless you're emo and into that sort of thing)

NJSwamplands · 12-01-2009, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rogue

What the...

I thought you were doing some obscure lyrics thread for a minute.

Sorry to hear the bad news, but I highly doubt it's your fault. Hindsight is always 20/20, but were you really going to tackle the guy and force him to get his life on track because he stole some money from your wallet?

Also... why was this girlfriend with him, if he's a thieving hookers-n-blow addict?

after time he became "them versus me". he used everyone. relationships were all about a girl that had cash he could steal from.

it feels bad because you could see the train wreck beginning to happen miles ahead but lacked skills in stopping it.

Obnoxio · 12-01-2009, 01:44 PM

Sad story, Im sorry for your loss and his girlfriends families pain.

You did what you could. I went thru the same with my cousin, he ended up taking his own life. I still think about what I could have done differently to change the outcome.

Sid and Nancy is good movie for anyone to watch who has friends/relatives in a self destructive downward spiral. Sometimes truth hurts, and love kills.

kreitz3 · 12-01-2009, 01:45 PM

Sorry to hear that NJS. Don't let yourself get too down about the situation. Sounds like you tried to help but he didn't want it.

NJSwamplands · 12-01-2009, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brock31

Man, you can't take responsibility for the actions of others. It took me a long time to figure that one out. You can play the "what if I..." or " I should have.." game all you want, it will only make you feel worse. The fact that he killed somebody sucks, don't get me wrong, but beating yourself up over it is useless. ( Unless you're emo and into that sort of thing)

that made me laugh

like my OP post states says, i found out today. most times i can deal with things in my own way. this one i just needed to vent as personally i was going downhill so i went "public" to help the healing process.

sperry · 12-01-2009, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NJSwamplands

after time he became "them versus me". he used everyone. relationships were all about a girl that had cash he could steal from.

it feels bad because you could see the train wreck beginning to happen miles ahead but lacked skills in stopping it.

Keep in mind that stepping in front of that train wreck could have just as easily gotten you killed instead.

Crappy situation.

hotelprowrx · 12-01-2009, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NJSwamplands

it feels bad because you could see the train wreck beginning to happen miles ahead but lacked skills in stopping it.

There ya go.

Based on the picture you paint there was likely little you could do. Go ahead and feel bad...but don't feel guilt.

In a completely unrelated thread, have you been working on those lips for me?

Saw an ad for that fuggin Jersey MTV show and sadly I thought of you and STB.

rogue · 12-01-2009, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NJSwamplands

that made me laugh

like my OP post states says, i found out today. most times i can deal with things in my own way. this one i just needed to vent as personally i was going downhill so i went "public" to help the healing process.

And you vented to OT. Prepare for unsolicited opinions, advice, and mostly irrelevant stories!

markman · 12-01-2009, 01:48 PM

Sorry to hear, but just be assured that it's not your fault. I've dealt with a similar situation (though it hasn't ended in murder, yet)
http://forums.nasioc.com/forums/show....php?t=1522155

Sometimes theres just nothing you can do

NJSwamplands · 12-01-2009, 01:49 PM

hotel, my lack of lip pouting skills will stop me from becoming a cross-dressing guidette.

boxered · 12-01-2009, 01:49 PM

Man, you just can feel any guilt here. Yeah, the poor girl got killed but who is to say you would have made any difference even with this "intervention"? I tried to help a lifelong friend through coke addiction and it didn't work. He wound up sliding his moto under a cab in NYC and paralyzing himself from the waist down. I didn't feel any guilt and I don't think any thing I tried to do mattered, the least.

NJSwamplands · 12-01-2009, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rogue

And you vented to OT. Prepare for unsolicited opinions, advice, and mostly irrelevant stories!

i know i will be linked to the cop murders in seattle by the end of this thread.

Yotsuya · 12-01-2009, 01:51 PM

The same thing happens to people with friends who have committed suicide. It's a very personal thing you will need to reconcile in your own way. Best of luck with it.

NJSwamplands · 12-01-2009, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markman

Sorry to hear, but just be assured that it's not your fault. I've dealt with a similar situation (though it hasn't ended in murder, yet)
http://forums.nasioc.com/forums/show....php?t=1522155

Sometimes theres just nothing you can do

man that sucks. i see both yours and mine were chronic liars. always someone else did it.

hotelprowrx · 12-01-2009, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NJSwamplands

hotel, my lack of lip pouting skills will stop me from becoming a cross-dressing guidette.

HA HA!!

Show ZFT yoar tittays!11!!!

Obnoxio · 12-01-2009, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rogue

And you vented to OT. Prepare for unsolicited opinions, advice, and mostly irrelevant stories!

I disagree. I have gotten some really great advice from the OT when asked on a serious topic.

NJSwamplands · 12-01-2009, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yotsuya

The same thing happens to people with friends who have committed suicide. It's a very personal thing you will need to reconcile in your own way. Best of luck with it.

thanks.

like i said, i posted here because i was finding myself being overwhelmed with some emotion ( guilt, sadness, etc ). i have come here many times and have felt OTs healing power to take the edge off something and letting me handle something with a more level head.

12-01-2009, 01:28 PM	#1
NJSwamplands Scooby Newbie Member#: 97227 Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: fuggin turkey™	why do i feel bad? i knew he was in trouble but.. i could see it coming. didnt take school seriously. didnt take work seriously. all he wanted to do was drugs and bang chicks. he started asking for drug money and then stealing it from my wallet. then stealing from work, then stealing from others. i tried to smack him out of it. talk him out of it. nothing good came out of it. he just kept getting more and more out there. damn good friend but he could only see the glory of hookers and blow. he went too far one way and i could not stop the train. i found out today he pleaded guilty to killing his gf in some rundown downtown hotel. i saw the road of him sucking but damn this really hurts. my apologies to all that he hurt. i tried. sorry i have the :failboat: just needed to vent. carry-on soldiers. * Registered users of the site do not see these ads.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

12-01-2009, 01:31 PM	#2
Brock31 Scooby Specialist Member#: 128115 Join Date: Oct 2006 Chapter/Region: South East Location: Wilmington, NC Vehicle: 2004 4EAT Wagon PSM enginuity is cool	personal remorse for the failings of others?

12-01-2009, 01:33 PM	#3
OriginalSin Scooby Newbie Member#: 66341 Join Date: Jul 2004 Chapter/Region: South East Location: SC Vehicle: 2007 STi, WRX, Gti, LR3, Sr21000, Tacoma	geez.

12-01-2009, 01:37 PM	#6
Gundoo Scooby Specialist Member#: 34112 Join Date: Mar 2003 Chapter/Region: TXIC Location: Houston Vehicle: 1973 Saturn V rocket i want a pet zebra

12-01-2009, 01:38 PM	#7
unamused Scooby Newbie Member#: 92776 Join Date: Aug 2005 Chapter/Region: SWIC Location: under pressure Vehicle: o6 black speeding	Damn, that`s heavy. But the failure is not with you, as a matter of fact for even trying, far from it. o_+

12-01-2009, 01:39 PM	#8
rogue Really, Bacdoc? Moderator Member#: 7977 Join Date: Jul 2001 Chapter/Region: MAIC Location: Sterling, VA Vehicle: ... Cause of death: Being 12 bucks.	What the... I thought you were doing some obscure lyrics thread for a minute. Sorry to hear the bad news, but I highly doubt it's your fault. Hindsight is always 20/20, but were you really going to tackle the guy and force him to get his life on track because he stole some money from your wallet? Also... why was this girlfriend with him, if he's a thieving hookers-n-blow addict?

12-01-2009, 01:44 PM	#11
Obnoxio Scooby Specialist Member#: 44009 Join Date: Sep 2003 Chapter/Region: South East Location: in an old barn Vehicle: 2001 Toyota Tundra red/bird poop	Sad story, Im sorry for your loss and his girlfriends families pain. You did what you could. I went thru the same with my cousin, he ended up taking his own life. I still think about what I could have done differently to change the outcome. Sid and Nancy is good movie for anyone to watch who has friends/relatives in a self destructive downward spiral. Sometimes truth hurts, and love kills.

12-01-2009, 01:45 PM	#12
kreitz3 Scooby Specialist Member#: 100242 Join Date: Nov 2005 Chapter/Region: International Location: Ladies Garment Workers Union	Sorry to hear that NJS. Don't let yourself get too down about the situation. Sounds like you tried to help but he didn't want it.

12-01-2009, 01:48 PM	#17
markman Scooby Newbie Member#: 93623 Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Near Charlotte, NC Vehicle: Red Silverado 5.7L Suzuki Bandit 0.4L	Sorry to hear, but just be assured that it's not your fault. I've dealt with a similar situation (though it hasn't ended in murder, yet) http://forums.nasioc.com/forums/show....php?t=1522155 Sometimes theres just nothing you can do

12-01-2009, 01:49 PM	#18
NJSwamplands Scooby Newbie Member#: 97227 Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: fuggin turkey™	hotel, my lack of lip pouting skills will stop me from becoming a cross-dressing guidette.

12-01-2009, 01:49 PM	#19
boxered Scooby Specialist Member#: 61884 Join Date: May 2004 Chapter/Region: South East Location: Is it snowing yet?	Man, you just can feel any guilt here. Yeah, the poor girl got killed but who is to say you would have made any difference even with this "intervention"? I tried to help a lifelong friend through coke addiction and it didn't work. He wound up sliding his moto under a cab in NYC and paralyzing himself from the waist down. I didn't feel any guilt and I don't think any thing I tried to do mattered, the least.

12-01-2009, 01:51 PM	#21
Yotsuya Scooby Guru Member#: 935 Join Date: Feb 2000 Chapter/Region: MWSOC Location: The City Vehicle: Tony Pond Fan Club	The same thing happens to people with friends who have committed suicide. It's a very personal thing you will need to reconcile in your own way. Best of luck with it.