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Old 08-19-2004, 09:58 AM   #1
jsnow
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Default Spotted: Asshat in 02-03 WRX with MA plate 9095TB

Dear Asshat,

When you came up behind me on i93 N. this morning I waved at you thinking, "Oh look, another Subaru. Won't it be nice to drive with this guy for a little while." Little did I know what your definition of "drive" was.

You and your STi wanna-be and the R32 wanna-be you were racing with are a menace to other drivers. Not to mention a perfect example of the kind of mental retardation that gives other WRX drivers a bad name, and is bound to result in your pretty car getting wrapped around a tree one day. Once I realized what a stunning display of bad judgement and general ineptitude you intended to perform on the Interstate this morning, I was torn between wanting to catch you to write down your license plate so I could denounce your antics in front of your peers, and not wanting to appear to be part of your recreation of The Fast and the Foolish. The Volkswagen, to his minor credit, was at least using the occasional turn signal to warn other drivers of the next stupid move he intended to make.

After a minute or two of watching you and your cognitively deficient colleague swerve through traffic like you both had hives full of bees shoved up your asses, I decided that work could wait. I would follow you as far out of my way as it took to write down your license plate number. It should tell you something about the utility of your antics that I was able to catch up with you at your exit while driving in a calm and sane fashion, albeit above the speed limit. (I trust that reasonable people can understand the difference between driving above the speed limit and driving like an epileptic baboon on cocaine.)

In the spirit of goodwill I would like to invite you to attend a COM track driving event or a BMW autocross so that you might learn how to drive your car. In the unlikely event that you have attended such an event, I would like to inform you that no amount of driver training justifies your reckless display this morning.


-James

PS: The car was blue.
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Last edited by jsnow; 08-23-2004 at 07:12 AM.
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Old 08-19-2004, 09:58 AM   #2
chrislehr
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World Rally Blue

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ibtl
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Old 08-19-2004, 10:01 AM   #3
Sideshowbob
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Location: HTown Tehas
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IBreporttoNHStPD
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Old 08-19-2004, 10:07 AM   #4
Cabal
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Default

IBparodythreadwith02-03wrx,r32wannabe,andsilver02wrx?
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Old 08-19-2004, 10:12 AM   #5
iamrazor
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IBaddtoDearNeonDriverThread
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Old 08-19-2004, 10:13 AM   #6
Sideshowbob
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jsnow

In the spirit of goodwill I would like to invite you to attend a COM track driving event or a BMW autocross so that you might learn how to drive your car. In the unlikely event that you have attended such an event, I would like to inform you that no amount of driver training justifies your wreckless display this morning.
Redeem thy self
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Old 08-19-2004, 10:16 AM   #7
Italiano
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Location: CT, USA -what am I doing here?
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Acura

Exclamation

IBidp
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Old 08-19-2004, 10:22 AM   #8
KD7000
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If you got his plate #, and really wanted to make a difference, you should have called it in to the State Police and reported it as racing / drunk driving / etc... They take that stuff pretty seriously.

-Brian
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Old 08-19-2004, 10:23 AM   #9
JoBoo
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Default tahssa

Quote:
Originally Posted by jsnow
... an epileptic baboon on cocaine.
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Old 08-19-2004, 12:13 PM   #10
jblaine
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jsnow
like an epileptic baboon on cocaine.
You can do better than that.
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Old 08-19-2004, 01:19 PM   #11
Georgethefierce
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. sprayfinishing
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VW's are for pussies
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Old 08-19-2004, 01:19 PM   #12
jsnow
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by KD7000
If you got his plate #, and really wanted to make a difference, you should have called it in to the State Police and reported it as racing / drunk driving / etc... They take that stuff pretty seriously.
They do take it very seriously, but I thought that peer reproof might be more effective with regard to behaviour modification. Also, I got his plate number at the end of an off-ramp; the VW had gone on. It was over at that point.

Quote:
Originally Posted by americanyouth
If thats the kind of writing you do in anger, I'd like to see you work in peace.
I think that was a compliment.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jblaine
You can do better than that.
I shall endeavour to be more creative with my metaphors in the future.


-James
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Old 08-19-2004, 01:58 PM   #13
rabbitnutz
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White

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that was the most well written display of mental clarity i have seen on these boards



i think what i just said makes sense....
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Old 08-19-2004, 02:05 PM   #14
Mikemar
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Stone Chip Blue

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Asshat?!??! I like that. Now if I could only be my wife's asshat more than once every six weeks. I wouldn't be doing this
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Old 08-19-2004, 02:49 PM   #15
Dingo3243
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Chapter/Region: RMIC
Location: Bridgewater, MA
Vehicle:
2006 330xi
blue

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikemar
Asshat?!??! I like that. Now if I could only be my wife's asshat more than once every six weeks. I wouldn't be doing this

overshare.
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Old 08-19-2004, 04:52 PM   #16
purplegrape
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Location: Chinatown, baby!
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Oh My wheel is
about to come off!!!

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikemar
Asshat?!??! I like that. Now if I could only be my wife's asshat more than once every six weeks. I wouldn't be doing this
Too much info....


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Old 08-19-2004, 05:13 PM   #17
re92
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Big balls, no brain

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James,

It's "reckless" not "wreckless". Also, use "occasional" instead of "occassional". Also also, remember to insult his mother.

Raj
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Old 08-19-2004, 09:12 PM   #18
chaserolls
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Default

hey I'm an English/Journalism major too, and my name is Chase, which people constantly mistake for James

as for this "asshat," just wait till it snows and the roads get a little icy, then nature will run it's course
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Old 08-19-2004, 09:29 PM   #19
superhawk44
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05 LGT arrestmered
07 Aprilia Tuono

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikemar
Asshat?!??! I like that. Now if I could only be my wife's asshat more than once every six weeks. I wouldn't be doing this
Dancing like an epileptic baboon on cocaine?
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Old 08-19-2004, 09:33 PM   #20
V6TurboTA
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it was me.

~v6
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Old 08-19-2004, 09:38 PM   #21
eastcoastbumps
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Honda S2000x2

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Georgethefierce
VW's are for pussies
...who beat big mudflapped WRXs.
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Old 08-19-2004, 09:50 PM   #22
manchild83
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This has to be one of the best rants of all time. Simply marvelous may you never catch me being ans asshat on the Highway
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Old 08-20-2004, 10:50 AM   #23
jsnow
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Default

Bump for Friday to see if anyone knows Mr. Asshat.
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Old 08-20-2004, 12:46 PM   #24
Jack
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It Better

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Have we yet confirmed that baboons can be aflicted with epilepsy?

I say you call the police on top of this thread. Surely, this guy is one of the multitude who say "I don't need to go to a real track. I know I'm a wicked fast driver and don't need to waste the money". In reality, as you know, guys in Miatas would be handing him his head to the tune of 15 seconds a lap.

jack
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Old 08-20-2004, 12:47 PM   #25
Georgethefierce
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just noting that I drive an '04
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