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Old 07-18-2006, 02:22 PM   #1
Sharkbait
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Angry Think about what you say before you say it.

It's absolutely amazing to me how inconsiderate people can be, without realizing it.

Rich's family, for over 45 years, has done a summer beach trip here in NC. This year, for the first time, Rich can't go because of his treatment. In addition, the family scheduled it only weeks before our wedding, when we need to save money and vacation time. We're bummed we can't go, but accept it.

Now, in the past few days, he's had 4-5 relatives say "Oh, c'mon, you have to come to the beach!" as if he's purposely not coming, or just blowing it off. He's really, really bummed he can't go, as he'd much rather be at the beach that sitting in a chemo infusion room. So, these comments are really wearing him down and starting to upset him. Until now, he's been fine with the chemo, and this is starting to bum him out.

I'm ready to tell his family to knock it off, but I know they mean well and everything. I just wish everyone thought about out their comments might be perceived. It's not like the more they persuade, they can actually convince him to go.

Dray Dray just venting.....

CN: Rich's family is unknowingly laying a guilt trip on him for dissing the beach trip in favour of chemo.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:24 PM   #2
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Yeah that sucks. SO's families are usually Bastages
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:25 PM   #3
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Yeah, because Chemo is so much more fun than going to the beach.

Tell them to **** off
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:26 PM   #4
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Sorry Drey, there will be other times for the beach.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:26 PM   #5
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Have him say, "I'd love to, but I'll be sitting there getting chemo treatments."

The guilt will rapidly swing the other way.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:27 PM   #6
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I know exactly what you mean. This is obviously a much more minor point, but I can't tell you how often I get "Oh, you have to work playing video games, I suppose?" when I mention I have a game review to some other writing to do. It's trivial, but man after ten years of it and sometimes when I'm totally stressed out on a deadline it makes me want to flip out.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:27 PM   #7
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What a bunch of insensitive idiots. You really should tell them that guilt tripping him into missing the beach visit because he has to go do his chemo treatments and save money for his wedding, isn't helping him stay healthy. Would they rather he skip the chemo and die before next year's beach festivities?

I hate when people are so stupid that it hurts your head.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:27 PM   #8
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Wait untill you get married, thats when all the sex life and why don't you have any kids questions will come to fore.

- Janq
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:28 PM   #9
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Hats off to Rich for not going off on one of them.

If it were me that would have happened twice before somebody got a rude comment from me.

"Oh, yeah, i'll go, why dont you sit in for my debilitating and physically agonizing chemo treatment while im at the beach. That'll help my cancer, you being there instead of me, Jackass."

Just look forward to your wedding.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:28 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TurbojonLS
Have him say, "I'd love to, but I'll be sitting there getting chemo treatments."

The guilt will rapidly swing the other way.
Yeah, he'll have tons of relatives in the general area that week and do any of them offer to go with him on one of the 5 days he has to go? Oh hell no! Has his dad even ASKED about his treatment...now in it's 5th month? Oh hell no. Denial much?

I'm having a pissed off day.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:28 PM   #11
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Yeah.....that is tough. You'd think they would be the most understanding of all.

Sometimes, when it's such a routine thing, you focus so much on the event, you lose sight of the people that are involved.


^that was supposed to mean something deep, but it didn't come out that way.....just stay focused on Rich and be supportive. If it really gets to be too much, you may have to tell them to 'Back off'
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:29 PM   #12
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Well, if they know that he has to have treatment during that time, then you have every right to tell them how retarded they are being. If not, then they probably just feel that he'd feel better/do better if he did go to the beach for a while. I'm sure they mean well so either tell them that he has to do a treatment during that time if they don't already know and tell them to knock it off.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:29 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janq
Wait untill you get married, thats when all the sex life and why don't you have any kids questions will come to fore.

- Janq
Since chemo makes him sterile, the first person that asks that gets punched.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:30 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharkbait
Since chemo makes him sterile, the first person that asks that gets punched.
Jeez...didn't know that.

Guaranteed somebody will ask....it's uber annoying.

- Janq
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:30 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharkbait
I'm having a pissed off day.
You're perfectly in your right to have a pissed off day. I'd be more than pissed if I were in your shoes in regards to Rich's situation and the annoying family denials...

Stay strong.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:31 PM   #16
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Sounds like my family. They got pissed at me becuase my wife wouldn't reply to their stupid FWD:FWD:FWD ZOMG THIS IS FUNNAY E-mails while she is on deployment in the middle of the Indian Ocean saving lives.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:31 PM   #17
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Cancer is all a conspiracy anyways. Thats what he gets for wearing bras.



Serious: Thats ****ing stupid, and they should be told how blatantly retarded they are being.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:32 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharkbait
Since chemo makes him sterile, the first person that asks that gets punched.
Make sure you're wearing studded biker gloves when you punch them. That's always entertaining...
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:32 PM   #19
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sterile....forever??

Wow, that's a real downer.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:32 PM   #20
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Tradition can take a back seat to the realities of everyday life.

The title of this thread, if not the content, should be made a sticky.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:33 PM   #21
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Oh yeah, I get people leaving messages saying "You need to call us and tell us how he's doing." How about you call him and not email me, dip****? Or, getting irritated that we can't come visit. Yeah, because we don't have enough going on right now.

His mum and her husband has been awesome, but the aunts and uncles need to chill.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:33 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FiveDoorSVT
sterile....forever??

Wow, that's a real downer.
Not really, quiet handy actually, as we don't want kids.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:36 PM   #23
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I know you're going to get pissed at me Dray Dray, but, is is necessary to share every single detail of your life in OT?

It's not that we don't care, it's just that not everything needs to be aired out here.

You know I love ya, I'm just concerned.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:36 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WagonMonster
I know you're going to get pissed at me Dray Dray, but, is is necessary to share every single detail of your life in OT?

It's not that we don't care, it's just that not everything needs to be aired out here.

You know I love ya, I'm just concerned.
Probably not. I just needed to vent. But, you're totally right. I'll scale back.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:37 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharkbait
Not really, quiet handy actually, as we don't want kids.
I thought you were only sterile during and shortly after the chemo?

And, you guys are the type of people that should be having kids... we need smart good looking children to counter the excessive breeding from the trailer-park-mouth-breather crowd. Darwin, don't fail me now!
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