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Old 11-14-2006, 12:08 PM   #1
ayesir123
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Default please critique my Resume

AYESIR
address
Cell: 999-999-9999
ayesir@gmail.com
EDUCATION:
B.S., University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Majors: Computer Science, Mathematics (double major)
GPA: 3.5/4.0
GPA (in major): 3.74/4.0

Coursework included: data structures, algorithms, database systems, computer networking, artificial intelligence, computer architecture, operating systems, probability & statistics, scientific computing, 2d and 3d graphics programming
Spring 2006
WORK EXPERIENCE:
AAA corp, MA 7/06 - 11/06
Associate Software Engineer, XXX Tools & Applications group
• Worked on XXX, a web-based client-server application for monitoring XXX storage arrays. All work was done using Java.
• Fixed bugs to meet defect quota for XXX 2.1
• Integrated new GUI screens and extended existing test framework for newest cluster version.
• Considered a strong performer and quick learner
RELEVANT PROJECTS:
• Led a small team in designing and implementing an e-commerce website for a school project. Work was done using php, mysql, and apache. We received a grade of 100%
• Worked for the UMass math department: I wrote programs and designed algorithms for measuring properties of 2d and 3d objects represented by a sampling of points. All work was done in C++.
COMPUTER SKILLS:
Programming Languages: Java, C++, C, PHP, scheme. Very quick at learning new languages.
Technologies: SQL, Swing, XML, HTML
Tools: Eclipse, Clearcase, JDK
Operating Systems: experience with both Windows and Linux environments
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:09 PM   #2
24
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Originally Posted by ayesir123 View Post
hold on
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:09 PM   #3
boxered
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ayesir123 View Post
hold on
A wee too short..
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:09 PM   #4
Dystinct
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It sucks.
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:10 PM   #5
trustSTI
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We're sorry, but you're just not qualified for a position of this calibur. Try the cafeteria.

Be prepared to hear that.

-Joe
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:11 PM   #6
del105
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4 months jerb experience? Wow you're hired.



Break out the recent projects and put them under work experience. Also go into more detail. try to fill up the page with at least 3 jobs. I'd rather see winn dixie bag boy for 2 years on a resume than nothing at all.
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:12 PM   #7
24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ayesir123 View Post
AYESIR
address
Cell: 999-999-9999
ayesir@gmail.com
EDUCATION:
B.S., University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Majors: Computer Science, Mathematics (double major)
GPA: 3.5/4.0
GPA (in major): 3.74/4.0

Coursework included: data structures, algorithms, database systems, computer networking, artificial intelligence, computer architecture, operating systems, probability & statistics, scientific computing, 2d and 3d graphics programming
Spring 2006
WORK EXPERIENCE:
AAA corp, MA 7/06 - 11/06
Associate Software Engineer, XXX Tools & Applications group
• Worked on XXX, a web-based client-server application for monitoring XXX storage arrays. All work was done using Java.
• Fixed bugs to meet defect quota for XXX 2.1
• Integrated new GUI screens and extended existing test framework for newest cluster version.
• Considered a strong performer and quick learner
RELEVANT PROJECTS:
• Led a small team in designing and implementing an e-commerce website for a school project. Work was done using php, mysql, and apache. We received a grade of 100%
• Worked for the UMass math department: I wrote programs and designed algorithms for measuring properties of 2d and 3d objects represented by a sampling of points. All work was done in C++.
COMPUTER SKILLS:
Programming Languages: Java, C++, C, PHP, scheme. Very quick at learning new languages.
Technologies: SQL, Swing, XML, HTML
Tools: Eclipse, Clearcase, JDK
Operating Systems: experience with both Windows and Linux environments

So you worked on pornographic applications? Unless this was a contract, be prepared to answer why it lasted only 4 months.
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:12 PM   #8
Dystinct
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xxx=pron?



Edit: Damn you.
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:12 PM   #9
INFIDEL
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ayesir123 View Post
•Worked on XXX, a web-based client-server application for monitoring XXX storage arrays. All work was done using Java.
•Fixed bugs to meet defect quota for XXX 2.1
So you worked for a pr0n website??
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:13 PM   #10
-=C=-
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1. Nobody cares what your GPA is/was. You can put "cum laude" crap on there, but that's about as far as you should take it.

2. Coursework isn't necessary either...it's a resume' not a transcript.

Other than that, it looks like a basic "I just graduated" resume'. Too hard to decipher the spelling, grammar, layout, look based on what you pasted.

Best of luck mang.
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:13 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dystinct View Post
xxx=pron?
ahhhhhhh beat me to it damn
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:14 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -=C=- View Post
1. Nobody cares what your GPA is/was. You can put "cum laude" crap on there, but that's about as far as you should take it.

2. Coursework isn't necessary either...it's a resume' not a transcript.

Other than that, it looks like a basic "I just graduated" resume'. Too hard to decipher the spelling, grammar, layout, look based on what you pasted.

Best of luck mang.
Yeah, but he has nothing else to put on there. He kind of has no choice, as it's really his biggest selling point. 4 months of OJE doesn't really help him much.
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:14 PM   #13
HOV
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ayesir123 View Post
AYESIR
address
Cell: 999-999-9999
ayesir@gmail.com
EDUCATION:
B.S., University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Majors: Computer Science, Mathematics (double major)
GPA: 3.5/4.0
GPA (in major): 3.74/4.0

Coursework included: data structures, algorithms, database systems, computer networking, artificial intelligence, computer architecture, operating systems, probability & statistics, scientific computing, 2d and 3d graphics programming
Spring 2006
WORK EXPERIENCE:
AAA corp, MA 7/06 - 11/06
Associate Software Engineer, XXX Tools & Applications group
• Worked on XXX, a web-based client-server application for monitoring XXX storage arrays. All work was done using Java.
• Fixed bugs to meet defect quota for XXX 2.1
• Integrated new GUI screens and extended existing test framework for newest cluster version.
• Considered a strong performer and quick learner
RELEVANT PROJECTS:
• Led a small team in designing and implementing an e-commerce website for a school project. Work was done using php, mysql, and apache. We received a grade of 100%
• Worked for the UMass math department: I wrote programs and designed algorithms for measuring properties of 2d and 3d objects represented by a sampling of points. All work was done in C++.
COMPUTER SKILLS:
Programming Languages: Java, C++, C, PHP, scheme. Very quick at learning new languages.
Technologies: SQL, Swing, XML, HTML
Tools: Eclipse, Clearcase, JDK
Operating Systems: experience with both Windows and Linux environments
Poorly organized

Unprofessional - used 1st person a few times

Does not show how you improved anything, only what you did

Contains unsubstantiated bragging

All in all, I'd evaluate you as a techno-geek who can't write a proper sentence to save his life. I'd hire a candidate with better communications skills.

Advice: get a resume book and follow a template
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:15 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by INFIDEL View Post
ahhhhhhh beat me to it damn
I beat both of you to it.
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:15 PM   #15
Yoo Shin
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What are you appling for?

I work for an Aerospace company that is hiring in Huntsville Alabama. In fact a bunch of us here in Houston are trying to make the move there. A bunch of new space programs are going to be based there.
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:21 PM   #16
UberWilhelm
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You forgot: Will work for $12/hr for the first 5 years to build up experience.
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:21 PM   #17
ayesir123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HOV View Post
Poorly organized

Unprofessional - used 1st person a few times

Does not show how you improved anything, only what you did

Contains unsubstantiated bragging

All in all, I'd evaluate you as a techno-geek who can't write a proper sentence to save his life. I'd hire a candidate with better communications skills.

Advice: get a resume book and follow a template

I didn't write proper sentences? Please explain.

Also please give me a format to use, i don't have one! I realize my educational section might seem excessive, but i NEED to put it on there becuase i really have nothing else to put up!

You sound like you might be a recruiting professional, so i've taken your advice and removed my resume from public access on monster.com until i've got something thats to your liking. Please help me out here.
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:24 PM   #18
Balishag
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id suggest going to the monster.com site and look up examples of resume's. for tech type jobs, there's a format you should follow... something along the lines of:

a) projects/programs
b) work experience
c) certifications
d) education

but its up to you on how you want to format your resume, but at least make it easy to read or at least easy to look at... too many sentences and everything seems all mashed up together.
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:33 PM   #19
HOV
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ayesir123 View Post
I didn't write proper sentences? Please explain.

Also please give me a format to use, i don't have one! I realize my educational section might seem excessive, but i NEED to put it on there becuase i really have nothing else to put up!

You sound like you might be a recruiting professional, so i've taken your advice and removed my resume from public access on monster.com until i've got something thats to your liking. Please help me out here.

If you don't have a lot of professional experience, it's fine to put an emphasis on your education. Just make sure you do it the right way: extract specific topics from old class syllabi or textbooks, use it as a header, and list supporting activities under that heading. The activities could be academic or professional. For instance:

Graphical Programming
2005 - Designed software algorithms for the University of Massachusets to measure properties of 2 and 3-dimensional objects
2004 - 2005 Describe another situation in which you did stuff with graphical programming

There are LOTS of formats available. Try starting off with a Word template for content and organization, but make sure you change the fonts and design so it's no obvious you used a Word template. But with your limited professional experience, I'd choose a functional style resume (as I showed above) if I were you, to maximize the amount of advertising for your educational background.

Make every point concise and relevant to your self-marketing campaign. Have a little story to tell for each resume bullet, showing how you not only did the job, but excelled at doing the job and made a difference.
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:34 PM   #20
TRH_legacy2k
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -=C=- View Post
1. Nobody cares what your GPA is/was. You can put "cum laude" crap on there, but that's about as far as you should take it.

2. Coursework isn't necessary either...it's a resume' not a transcript.

Other than that, it looks like a basic "I just graduated" resume'. Too hard to decipher the spelling, grammar, layout, look based on what you pasted.

Best of luck mang.
I just had an interviewer say "I can't seem to find your GPA on here...", so I don't think it's that bad to have there.

P.S. I'm an almost Ph.D. as well.
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:34 PM   #21
dirtnyureye
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I am giving you invaluable advice right here and right now.

Emphasize JAVA JAVA JAVA JAVA JAVA all over your resume. Anything you did in Java, emphasize its importance and what experienec you have with it. Creating base classes? Web applications? Web 2.0? SOAP? XML?

If you take a look at the job reqs out there right now, all of the jobs want JAVA, J2EE, Java anything. Also helpful to you is your database experience.

I would emphasize those points tremendously. If you want to code C/C++, you're SOL right now.

I'm not sure why everyone is flogging your resume. It looks like you're a recent college graduate? If not - then you deserve the flogging.

Listen to HOV's points. Don't dismiss them.

Change meaningless crap that you spew:

Worked on XXX, a web-based client-server application for monitoring XXX storage arrays. All work was done using Java.

to something more along the lines of

Established common Java base classes and Java framework for XXX; a web based client server application for monitoring xxx storage arrays.

DESCRIBE what you did - worked onmeans nothing.


Next change the format to

Name
Education w/ graduation date or expected graduation date
Computer Skills
Relevant Coursework
Experience
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:34 PM   #22
jasonallenross
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+1 to go to a standard format. There are many guides availiable to organize your resume.

You might want to list why you were only on for 4 months, especially if it was beyond your control -- layoff, restructuring, cancelled project, etc. If it was an internship, say so. Otherwise you look like you got fired.

Remove a lot of the jargon, or at least add in industry standard jargon. For example,
Quote:
• Integrated new GUI screens and extended existing test framework for newest cluster version.
Would become something like
"Integrated and extended new Java Swing GUI screens into existing test suites"

You should also get rid of a lot of the "bragging", as mentioned before:
Quote:
Considered a strong performer and quick learner
You could also expand on the work you did for the Math department, since it may be relevant for the type of position you are looking for.

Also if you have more work experience you should get this thing up to a page. As it is now, it's pretty weak.
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:38 PM   #23
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First off, I would keep the GPA on there. Many organizations put value on that, and you are a recent graduate.

Second, I would encourage you to focus more on skills and achievements. Most recruiters who receive a high volume of resumes will only give it a quick scan (8-10 seconds) to see if the primary skills they need are listed. If they like what they see, they will usually go back and read through more thoroughly.

Therefore, move your course work to the bottom, and start with a section that lists your skills. List the most marketable skills first, as that's what the recruiter wants to see. (If you are applying for a particular job, you might want to reorder your skills to highlight anything specific that the company is looking for.) You can and should list skill learned in internships, class projects, etc.

On your job experience, instead of listing what you did on a daily basis, list what you accomplished. Try to quantify your projects when possible.

Finally, remember that the resume is just a marketing tool. You want to set yourself apart from the competition (without misrepresenting yourself.) The resume will not get you hired, it will only get your foot in the door. After that, you have to be prepared to sell yourself professionally and confidently.

Good Luck!
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:38 PM   #24
lord1234
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seriously VERY short. What about any school achievements? Did you hold any offices? Even if useless...i was the president of our local ACM chapter for 1.5 years...did I do any work? F no...but it helps...did you get any awards? Mention that you are graduating with honors, cum laude whatever...(you have a high enough GPA to meet these).

Also embellish more...your wording describing your AAA job aren't "power" words

also, noone wants to know that you were "Considered a strong performer and quick learner". That should NOT be in a job description. They want to hear that via references, via some examples of your work ethic. Tell them that at the interview etc.
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Old 11-14-2006, 12:44 PM   #25
Balishag
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lord1234 View Post
seriously VERY short. What about any school achievements? Did you hold any offices? Even if useless...i was the president of our local ACM chapter for 1.5 years...did I do any work? F no...but it helps...did you get any awards? Mention that you are graduating with honors, cum laude whatever...(you have a high enough GPA to meet these).

Also embellish more...your wording describing your AAA job aren't "power" words

also, noone wants to know that you were "Considered a strong performer and quick learner". That should NOT be in a job description. They want to hear that via references, via some examples of your work ethic. Tell them that at the interview etc.
he played high school football... 4 touchdowns in 1 game
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