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Old 04-19-2009, 07:13 PM   #26
Unabomber
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My buddy's dad:

Jason and I were watching TV after school and his dad comes in all steamin mad after work. Someone stole his gas cap from his 80s white Pontiac Sunfire. It's one of those rare integrated gas caps where the outside of it is literally a body panel that is integrated with the gas cap. So replacement caps are not an option and the dealer wants $texas for a new one.

He said, "Here's my keys...you boys take the car and get me a new gas cap, no questions asked." So we drove around looking for Sunfires. We found a blue one and swapped our rag for his gas cap. Then we swapped our our blue for black, then black for red, then red for green, then finally green for white.

We solved his problem and created the same problem for like four other Sunfire owners.
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Old 04-19-2009, 08:29 PM   #27
soldmyboxster
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GT11 View Post
That's badass, that's where I'm statined at right now
Sorry to hear that! I spent 4 months at Andersen AFB in 2006 and hated most of it.
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Old 04-19-2009, 08:56 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzz541 View Post
No pics of mom, but how about my sister?

Roller girl, huh? Feisty.


When I was about 15 I was at a friends house, my dad called and said he was coming to pick me up.
When I got in the car he said "we have a problem, we found something in your room, is there anything you want to tell, me?".
I thought for a minute about the 1/8th of green and pipe I had left in an Altoids box in my sock drawer, and decided it was probably better to come clean than lie. So I told him "Yes, there's some weed in my top drawer"
He looked at me and laughed and said:
"We found a bottle of whiskey under your bed".
I had totally forgotten it was there.

The drive home in silence was excruciating. The first thing he did when we got home was sit me on the couch in front of my step-mom, she was not amused. Dad went into my room and came back out with the whiskey in hands, he was pissed, but not a word about the weed. I got grounded for a few days.

The next day he handed me back my Altoids box with my pipe still in it but no green, he told me to find a better hiding place, because every time he found my stash he was taking it as payment for not saying anything
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Old 07-14-2012, 11:03 AM   #29
AWDailyDriver
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Bump from the dead.

My dad: That thing between a woman's legs, it smells so bad, but men will do ANYTHING for it!
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Old 07-14-2012, 11:10 AM   #30
OriginalSin
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most unexpected?

my dad walking out when i was a kid never to be heard from again.

i mean, who'd have expected that?

Last edited by OriginalSin; 07-15-2012 at 01:26 PM.
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Old 07-14-2012, 12:12 PM   #31
kgb4187
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A few weeks ago I was helping my parents move out of their house, and my sisters boyfriend came over to pick up some of her stuff to take to their apartment. There wasn't much room in the driveway with the U-haul truck and so my sister asked my mom to move her car so they could get big items down to the street to load up. The problem was the boyfriend parked in front of the driveway, blocking it off. My mom got into her car and started it, and I opened the back door to make sure nothing was going to fall over. I noticed my sister and her boyfriend were just standing by their car talking instead of moving out of the way when I heard my mom say "Dumb F**ks!"
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Old 07-14-2012, 02:27 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by OriginalSin View Post
most expected?

my dad walking out when i was a kid never to be heard from again.

i mean, who'd have expected that?
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Old 07-14-2012, 05:20 PM   #33
Trudd84
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When I was in 11th grade, understanding my mom runs 2 intensive healthcare untis and I have more graphic talks than I wanted to hear, left a Sam's sized box of condoms and some ky jelly on my bed one time. with a note that read.

"I can hear you and Lesley, I dont want grand kids, and she sounded like it hurt. For futher explanation call me, Love mom."

So now 11-12 years later I use the comment "They/I didn't even spit on it before they stuck it in." depending on the context of the situation. We chuckle together...good times.

I found some joints rolled up in my moms room one time, took 2 out of three and smoked them assuming she wouldn't say anything because she probably thought I didn't know. This was right after my parents divorced and she was coping. She obviously found out and told me I had to "replace what i took." She had ****ty reg's dirt weed from who knows where. I replaced it with a gram of good stuff, probably 15-20 bucks worth. She came down to my room saying it wasn't real, that all those hairs and salt (keif crystals) on it looked sketchy, like pcp or something. That's when she learned what "chronic" was.

Found my single moms shoe box of "adult toys" under her bed. I was an only child, very bored and very mischievous. She knew I found them cause I freaked and just shoved it back under the bed. She still rags me about the shoe box some 14 years later.... *shudders*
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Old 07-14-2012, 05:23 PM   #34
motorpotor
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My Mom thought Hotmail was porn this was circa 1999 or so.
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Old 07-14-2012, 05:39 PM   #35
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nice^
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Old 07-14-2012, 06:25 PM   #36
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My parents were going through a rough patch, pretty much my dad was going to move to Florida (mid-life crisis). During that time I would come home frequently and would help around the house. One night I was making dinner and was looking for some butter, I found about a half a quart Tupperware of "butter" in the fridge and used it. My mom came in to the kitchen and saw the container of butter and asked if I had used any of "that butter". I said yes and she explained to me what was in it. Either way it was the best meal ever!

My parents are still together but I still go home and have "ginger snaps" (she says she eats to many brownies if she makes them) that are in their own hidden cookie jar. Best hidden thing my mom has ever pick up. Even have a pound of shake (brother in-law grows for people with their Medical MJ Card) in the garage that needs cooking.
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Old 07-15-2012, 11:55 AM   #37
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No my parents, but my grandma:

"You know, I used to LOVE going to the Cinco de Mayo celebrations in town... but ever since all those damn Mexicans started showing up, I get uncomfortable."
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Old 07-15-2012, 12:23 PM   #38
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Old 07-15-2012, 01:22 PM   #39
Grap
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My Mom used to have a 1978 Dodge Magnum with the 400 engine.

One day, we were coming home from the grocery store and sitting at a light next to either a mustang or Capri. My Mom looked over at the car, looked at me and said "Watch this." She power-braked the car, the light turned green and burned the tires from the light and stayed in it through the next traffic light, which had turned red as we went through.

I also found out that my Dad built her a 1968 Dodge Coronet wagon with a 440-4 speed and bucket seats (He worked for Chrysler Corp at the time).

My Dad rolled a 1971 Hemi 'cuda hardtop off an interstate off-ramp as he was coming home from a Corp dinner...he walked away, and hitched a ride home.

On a family trip somewhere, my Brother and I were in a car with our mom, and for some reason, my Dad was in his New Yorker (don't remember why were were in different cars) but at some point, I remember seeing my Dad pass us. He was sitting in the passenger seat with his feet up on the dash, and beer in his hand (he used the cruise control and had his hand on the bottom the steering wheel.)

smh.
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Old 07-15-2012, 01:45 PM   #40
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That's out of hand
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Old 07-15-2012, 01:53 PM   #41
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When I was a kid my father, who smoked a pipe and considered himself to be something of a comedian, told me that if we saw a police officer, I should tell the police man that my father smoked marijuana in his pipe.

So we were coming home from someone's house and Dad had maybe one too many and we get pulled over. So when the cop comes up to the car, of course I loudly announce "My dad smokes marijawanna in that pipe!"

The cop made my mom drive us the rest of the way home, because back then the punishment for drunk driving was you didn't get to drive again until you weren't drunk.
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Old 07-15-2012, 01:59 PM   #42
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I'm sure my kids when they are older will tell about when I used to do stand up wheelies on my motorcycle past them in the SUV my wife was driving. I can only imagine what she said to them when I used to do that.
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