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Old 06-03-2009, 09:40 AM   #1
Obnoxio
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Default Collard Greens, or how I turned my poop bright green

I dunno how many people here actually like Collard Greens, but I do. Only the kind that I make, I cant stand when people boil them into mush. I went to visit my sister in law yesterday, and her neighbor has an epic garden. He spends tons of time in it, starts it usually around February. Anyways, I was chatting with him and remarked about how nice his onions and squash looked, so he gives me a huge trash bag full of onions, yellow squash and Collard Greens. Lots of collards. If you arent from the south or have never eaten Soul Food, Collards might not have ever crossed your path. Down here, they pick out the stems, chop em up, and boil them in salted water with a ham hock or some smoked pork neckbones. I make them by boiling 6 smoked neckbones, and a hambone left over from a ham. I had a nice one from Mothers Day in the freezer.

So, I proceeded to clean, strip and cut up a bunch of collards, boil the meat until it fell apart, cooked the greens, and ate like a pig. 3 bowls last night. This morning, I took a dump of biblical proportions that was the same color as a Saab Sonnet my Mom used to own. It was awesome.

OT looked kinda dead, so I figured a food/poop related thread might get things moving.
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Old 06-03-2009, 09:42 AM   #2
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mmm I like greens

Sometimes we make a gumbo (not a real gumbo since we don't do a rue) and there are like 7 different kinds of greens that go into it.
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Old 06-03-2009, 09:42 AM   #3
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i ate an entire bag of chopped spinach once. the following morning's constitutional looked like something out of a radioactive swamp.
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Old 06-03-2009, 09:44 AM   #4
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mmm I like greens

Sometimes we make a gumbo (not a real gumbo since we don't do a rue) and there are like 7 different kinds of greens that go into it.
ROUX!
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Old 06-03-2009, 09:46 AM   #5
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The thread, and your Random Capitolizations makes me Want to poop Green. My favorite though was your Explanation that a hambone was leftover From a Ham.
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Old 06-03-2009, 09:47 AM   #6
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ROUX!
Go update your Zork thread from yesterday...

...oh wait...

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Old 06-03-2009, 09:51 AM   #7
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The thread, and your Random Capitolizations makes me Want to poop Green. My favorite though was your Explanation that a hambone was leftover From a Ham.
Just keepin teh OT on their Toes my good man. Plus, its kinda boring around here today. Baby is sleeping, dogs are outside rasslin in the dirt, and OT is lacking in poop threads.
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Old 06-03-2009, 10:00 AM   #8
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Collard greens are awesome, so are turnip greens. My doo doo's have always been more of a forest green and not so much of the bright green. I did just take a substantial bowl filler though. 2 flushes....ahhhh
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Old 06-03-2009, 10:01 AM   #9
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When I ran a produce department at a local grocery store, There was only one race buying collards.

ibpoints.
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Old 06-03-2009, 10:05 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by vision.dynamix View Post
When I ran a produce department at a local grocery store, There was only one race buying collards.

ibpoints.
The Daytona 500?
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Old 06-03-2009, 10:06 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vision.dynamix View Post
When I ran a produce department at a local grocery store, There was only one race buying collards.

ibpoints.
Down here, collards are enjoyed by everyone. When I first moved down here, I was driving down a backroad and saw a handmade sign that said "Collords 4 sale!!". I thought to myself, "Isnt slavery outlawed?"

Reading comprehension owns me.
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Old 06-03-2009, 10:19 AM   #12
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It was odd. Every time one of the kids would say someone's looking for Collards I'd look and it'd be a ***** person. And Cilantro was always a ***** or ******** lady.

Self-censored.
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Old 06-03-2009, 10:42 AM   #13
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collard_greens

Kinda like spinach? I've never had em but I do love spinach and the like
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Old 06-03-2009, 10:42 AM   #14
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i do so love collard greens
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Old 06-03-2009, 10:49 AM   #15
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If you like collard greens also try chard.

I love me some rainbow chard.

IB rainbow California Bay Area comments
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Old 06-03-2009, 10:51 AM   #16
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Pics..... or it didn't really happen.
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Old 06-03-2009, 10:52 AM   #17
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i do so love collard greens
According to vision.dynamix you must be a ***** person.
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Old 06-03-2009, 10:54 AM   #18
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Man, I had no idea there was so much to know about collard greens. I honestly thought they were a "southern only" type of thing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by greenman View Post
Kinda like spinach? I've never had em but I do love spinach and the like
Not so much. Spinach can be cooked on its own, and has a much more robust flavor. They dont really taste like anything else out there, thats why people cook them with smoked pork. They can be kinda bitter.

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i do so love collard greens
How do they cook them up north?
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Old 06-03-2009, 10:58 AM   #19
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Collards and hot sauce -- FTW.

I made a frittatta the other day with beet greens -- also good.
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Old 06-03-2009, 11:00 AM   #20
Obnoxio
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dcrawford View Post
If you like collard greens also try chard.

I love me some rainbow chard.

IB rainbow California Bay Area comments
Isnt that cooked with bacon? If so, then I need to try it. Any kind of greens cooked with a smoked pork product=tons of win.
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Old 06-03-2009, 11:00 AM   #21
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How do they cook them up north?
no idea, I get them at bbq and southern cooking establishments
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Old 06-03-2009, 11:04 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by jpicheva View Post
Collards and hot sauce -- FTW.

I made a frittatta the other day with beet greens -- also good.
Its funny you say that, I was seriously thinking of making an omelette or frittatta with the leftovers for lunch. Maybe give the greens and ham a quick saute', drain the juice and make a nice omelette with that and some baby swiss? Possibly use the juice to make cream sauce or glace'?

Hmmm...
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Old 06-03-2009, 11:08 AM   #23
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Pics..... or it didn't really happen.
this.
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Old 06-03-2009, 11:09 AM   #24
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Pics..... or it didn't really happen.
that.


personally I like eating a ton of carrots and turning it orange.
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Old 06-03-2009, 11:10 AM   #25
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Its funny you say that, I was seriously thinking of making an omelette or frittatta with the leftovers for lunch. Maybe give the greens and ham a quick saute', drain the juice and make a nice omelette with that and some baby swiss? Possibly use the juice to make cream sauce or glace'?

Hmmm...
sounds good to me -- I usually throw in some goat cheese too - adds some zing.
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