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Old 06-28-2009, 01:24 PM   #1
ScubaruImpreza05
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Unhappy Guys, I'm worried about my SO.

I don't know what's wrong with her. All of her life that I have known her she has been a fighter, she's been strong, full of willpower as far as to be stubborn. She's always fought on even when she was really upset, but about 6 months ago she changed. That's about the time she graduated from college and started looking for full time work.

I'm honestly worried about her right now. All she does is cry, sleep, wake up, cry, and sleep some more. It started about a week ago 2 days before she started her new job, she began to feel queasy, then she couldn't sleep. She has been waking up nearly every night with panic attacks and she can't sleep. She has no will to do anything, she isn't eating and her hair started falling out 2 weeks ago and she's super stressed about that too.

She has been to the doctor and gotten prescription Xanex (sp?), Celexa, and 2 others, one for her hair and one for immediate relief, but nothing is helping her. She used to be on Celexa but went off it 9 months ago and she was doing alright up until a week ago.

I don't know what to do, yesterday I got her to laugh and smile a bit, but then I had to go to work, and when I got home she was asleep already. This morning she is a wreck again and I couldn't cheer her up. She won't go out with our friends and I think she should to relax a little, but she's so upset she won't do it.

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Old 06-28-2009, 01:26 PM   #2
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Sounds like an anxiety problem to me. I hate telling people to go get on behavioral medicine, but it sounds like what she needs, as well as your support. She's going through some changes right now and probably just needs help getting over the hump. Good luck.
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Old 06-28-2009, 01:27 PM   #3
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yeah, that's called clinical depression. She needs meds and therapy.
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Old 06-28-2009, 01:28 PM   #4
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Old 06-28-2009, 01:32 PM   #5
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Sounds like an anxiety problem to me. I hate telling people to go get on behavioral medicine, but it sounds like what she needs, as well as your support. She's going through some changes right now and probably just needs help getting over the hump. Good luck.
I hope this is the case, I've never seen her like this in the 8 years I've been with her, it sucks because I feel helpless to help her

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yeah, that's called clinical depression. She needs meds and therapy.
Well, she has the meds.

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Old 06-28-2009, 01:32 PM   #6
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What did she major in? What is her job? How long was she in college? Did she go to college after high school or is this a life change thing?

Just a few questions I can think of that would help you.

My guesses. College life to work is a shock to some. The work, or more likely the work environment, may be more stressful than she anticipated. Maybe she realized that she will not enjoy the line of work she has chosen and feels like so much time was wasted.

My suggestion: Get her to open up. Find out what it is that is truly bothering her. Let her know how much she means to you, but make sure you just listen. Don't tell her that you "understand". Let her pain be as traumatic to you as it is to her.

Once there is more information, then better suggestions could be given.
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Old 06-28-2009, 01:34 PM   #7
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Has she been missing her period cycle? it could be her hormones been way out of balance and stuck in a vicious cycle that's causing both psychological and physiological symptoms. If she's been seeing a general practitioner she might need to go to her OB/GYN.
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Old 06-28-2009, 01:35 PM   #8
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Xanax is a ****ty drug that is extremely physically and psychologically addictive. Withdrawals can kill you. Use with caution. I take Buspar for my anxiety and it works great.
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Old 06-28-2009, 01:40 PM   #9
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What did she major in? What is her job? How long was she in college? Did she go to college after high school or is this a life change thing?

Just a few questions I can think of that would help you.

My guesses. College life to work is a shock to some. The work, or more likely the work environment, may be more stressful than she anticipated. Maybe she realized that she will not enjoy the line of work she has chosen and feels like so much time was wasted.

My suggestion: Get her to open up. Find out what it is that is truly bothering her. Let her know how much she means to you, but make sure you just listen. Don't tell her that you "understand". Let her pain be as traumatic to you as it is to her.

Once there is more information, then better suggestions could be given.

-She's a Graphic Design Major
-She's working design in a print company
-She was 4.5 years, 2.5 at a community, 2 at Muhlenberg.
-She went straight to college from high school, and had a 3.85 GPA.

She's told me she's stressing over the job, learning all the new things she has to. She's worried she's asking too many questions while being trained. She's super upset about her hair falling out. She's stressed about us having just purchased a new house, even though I've reassured her through numbers we are just fine.

I've done all of the above, tried reassuring her I'm not upset, I love her, she's not a burden, but she keeps saying she doesn't want to be a burden, etc... I got her flowers, and doing all I can to help, I just feel like it isn't helping
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Old 06-28-2009, 01:42 PM   #10
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Has she been missing her period cycle? it could be her hormones been way out of balance and stuck in a vicious cycle that's causing both psychological and physiological symptoms. If she's been seeing a general practitioner she might need to go to her OB/GYN.
Know, she's been fine up until now. Her hair is the only sign of hormonal issues besides this sudden shift in behavior.

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Xanax is a ****ty drug that is extremely physically and psychologically addictive. Withdrawals can kill you. Use with caution. I take Buspar for my anxiety and it works great.
Ya, she only has a week or two prescribed until her Celexa builds in her system and takes over. She has been complaining about vision fuzziness and lighteadedness.
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Old 06-28-2009, 01:48 PM   #11
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Know, she's been fine up until now. Her hair is the only sign of hormonal issues besides this sudden shift in behavior.
Not sure if she's already got this done, but she should get a complete blood work and see what's going on with her hormones.
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Old 06-28-2009, 01:53 PM   #12
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Not sure if she's already got this done, but she should get a complete blood work and see what's going on with her hormones.
Ya, I believe she told me it's done and at the lab. I hope it's just hormones and easily treatable. I'm not one for meds myself, but she is suffering and I can't help

Her medical office called today, maybe it was the results.
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Old 06-28-2009, 01:55 PM   #13
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Did she change anything else 6 months ago? I know transitioning from student to worker can be rough.

Did she give up drugs?
College friends?
Drinking?
Exercise?

I know it may sound really dumb but try encouraging her to get outside on bright sunny days and running/jogging/walking/biking. Exercise is a natural mood stabilizer.
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Old 06-28-2009, 01:56 PM   #14
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Ya, she only has a week or two prescribed until her Celexa builds in her system and takes over. She has been complaining about vision fuzziness and lighteadedness.
That's good. I wasn't trying to scare you, but doctors really downplay the dangers of benzo addiction and how easy it is to become addicted.

Good luck to your wife. I suffer from General Anxiety Disorder and it really is crippling.
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Old 06-28-2009, 01:58 PM   #15
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Yeah... getting her on meds might not necessarily be the best thing either. It can make or break a person when ****ing with their psyche.
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Old 06-28-2009, 02:00 PM   #16
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get her out of the house, make her interact with you or family or friends. The worst thing for her is to stay inside and sulk. Does her employer know that she is this stressed out?

Maybe try giving her boss a call, you know, just to give her some positive re-enforcement at work and let him know whats going on.

Just hope that he doesn't wig out over and think that if this is too much she needs time off.
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Old 06-28-2009, 02:05 PM   #17
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Sounds like she's depressed on her overall situation. How long have you guys been together, and what's the specifics of the relationship? Likely your reluctance to do everything and anything for her is contributing to her condition. Buying a house with someone right after college probably isn't helping her achieve independence like she envisioned it would. I'm completely unaware of your situational specifics, but a change in lifestyle and cure to her depression may not include you.
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Old 06-28-2009, 02:05 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by industrial View Post
Did she change anything else 6 months ago? I know transitioning from student to worker can be rough.

Did she give up drugs?
College friends?
Drinking?
Exercise?

I know it may sound really dumb but try encouraging her to get outside on bright sunny days and running/jogging/walking/biking. Exercise is a natural mood stabilizer.
Ya, I told her the sun is the best thing for her right now, and that she should take a walk around the property and relax outside, cooping up inside is just going to be an endless cycle of feeling crappy.

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Yeah... getting her on meds might not necessarily be the best thing either. It can make or break a person when ****ing with their psyche.
Ya, she's pretty messed up now and looking forward to the meds balancing her out, she's not even fighting it which worries me the most. She didn't even try to fight.
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Old 06-28-2009, 02:10 PM   #19
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Have her go see a therapist. Depression can't always be solved by drugs, and in a lot of cases, it makes things worse. Also, a therapist is trained to see positive or negative changes better than you are, it would give you peace of mind as well.
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Old 06-28-2009, 02:10 PM   #20
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Sounds like she's depressed on her overall situation. How long have you guys been together, and what's the specifics of the relationship? Likely your reluctance to do everything and anything for her is contributing to her condition. Buying a house with someone right after college probably isn't helping her achieve independence like she envisioned it would. I'm completely unaware of your situational specifics, but a change in lifestyle and cure to her depression may not include you.

Ya, cuz your logic makes total sense until it hits the fact that I'm the only one who has cheered her up since this started. She's been out of college 6 months, and she is the one who pushed for the house and searched fervently for the job.

I understand you don't know our situation, but the way you wrote that seemed like I was the issue. This is not the case, and I think 8 years together happily is verification of the fact I am NOT the cause of her problems.
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Old 06-28-2009, 02:18 PM   #21
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i'd put a hold on that house brah.
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Old 06-28-2009, 02:21 PM   #22
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Wow. I don't have any advice. But I do hope she get's better.
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Old 06-28-2009, 02:27 PM   #23
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Ya, cuz your logic makes total sense until it hits the fact that I'm the only one who has cheered her up since this started. She's been out of college 6 months, and she is the one who pushed for the house and searched fervently for the job.

I understand you don't know our situation, but the way you wrote that seemed like I was the issue. This is not the case, and I think 8 years together happily is verification of the fact I am NOT the cause of her problems.
On the contrary, i had a friend in college who like your SO had been with the same dude since a very young age. Mostly out of nowhere she realized that their relationship was making her life miserable, and was unable to share this with him for fear of hurting the one she poured so much love into. He tried to help and she didnt even bother trying to change things cause she didnt see any brighter future with this guy's persistent care/loving/concerns. In the end she terminated her relationship with the guy and started her quest for independence. She was at a similar crossroads as your SO, living in a new place, doing different things, having the same old shoulder to cry on. Rather than look for other solutions and drugs that aren't effective, you should take a rational approach to the situation. She's apparently shutting you out mentally...maybe she needs a change.
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Old 06-28-2009, 02:29 PM   #24
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Could she be/have been pregnant??
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Old 06-28-2009, 02:29 PM   #25
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On the contrary, i had a friend in college who like your SO had been with the same dude since a very young age. Mostly out of nowhere she realized that their relationship was making her life miserable, and was unable to share this with him for fear of hurting the one she poured so much love into. He tried to help and she didnt even bother trying to change things cause she didnt see any brighter future with this guy's persistent care/loving/concerns. In the end she terminated her relationship with the guy and started her quest for independence. She was at a similar crossroads as your SO, living in a new place, doing different things, having the same old shoulder to cry on. Rather than look for other solutions and drugs that aren't effective, you should take a rational approach to the situation. She's apparently shutting you out mentally...maybe she needs a change.
Well, thanks doom and gloom. Do you have a business card I could have?
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