Welcome to the North American Subaru Impreza Owners Club Wednesday October 1, 2014
Home Forums WikiNASIOC Products Store Modifications Upgrade Garage
New England Subaru Impreza Club
Here you can view your subscribed threads, work with private messages and edit your profile and preferences Home Registration is free! Visit the NASIOC Store NASIOC Rules Search Find other members Frequently Asked Questions Calendar Archive NASIOC Upgrade Garage Logout
Go Back   NASIOC > NASIOC Chapters > New England Impreza Club Forum -- NESIC

Welcome to NASIOC - The world's largest online community for Subaru enthusiasts!
Welcome to the NASIOC.com Subaru forum.

You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our community, free of charge, you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is free, fast and simple, so please join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us.
* Registered users of the site do not see these ads.
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-12-2000, 08:09 PM   #1
Patrick Olsen
NASIOC Supporter
 
Member#: 120
Join Date: Jul 1999
Chapter/Region: AKIC
Location: Where the Navy sends me...
Vehicle:
1997 Legacy 2.5GT
QuickSilver Metallic

Post OT: Amusing performance driver joke kinda thing

Got this through a NASA-Tri State mailing list I'm on. I thought it was purty funny, even though I don't have harnesses. (Who am I kidding, I don't have a damn car! )

1. Get in the car.
2. Strap myself in (5 point harness).
3. Realize the keys to the car are in my front pocket.
4. Unstrap.
5. Get out of the car and get the keys out of my pocket.
6. Get in the car.
7. Strap myself in.
8. Put the keys in the ignition.
9. Notice my helmet sitting on the passenger floor.
10. Unstrap.
11. Put the helmet on the passenger seat.
12. Strap myself in.
13. Notice the driver's door is still open.
14. Wonder why the guy next to me on grid thinks this is so funny.
15. Unstrap.
16. Close the driver's door on the lap belt.
17. Try to strap back in.
18. Open the door to free up the lap belt.
19. Strap myself in.
20. Notice the driver's door is still open.
21. Getting irritated at guy next to me on grid who's cackling like a
chicken.
22. Put helmet on head, scraping glasses down nose and onto the floor.
23. Take helmet off.
24. Unstrap.
25. Pickup glasses.
26. Strap myself in.
27. Notice my helmet sitting on the passenger floor.
28. Decide the guy next to me on grid is having a coronary by the way he's twitching and jerking.
29. Unstrap.
30. Put the helmet on my head.
31. Try to strap myself in but I can't see the latch because of the helmet.
32. Take helmet off, carefully putting it on the passenger seat.
33. Strap myself in.
34. Hope the coronary that guy is going through finishes soon.
35. Put helmet on.
36. Notice glasses on passenger side of dash.
37. Unstrap.
38. Put glasses on.
39. Strap myself in.
40. The guy next to me must be dead 'cuz I can't see him sitting up in the car anymore.


The one reply so far on the mailing list: "couldn't help buy notice that you forgot to take a leak first."

Pat Olsen
'99 Legacy 2.5GT 5speed sedan
* Registered users of the site do not see these ads.
Patrick Olsen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2000, 08:53 PM   #2
Fitz
Scooby Guru
 
Member#: 1426
Join Date: May 2000
Chapter/Region: NESIC
Location: Goffstown, NH
Vehicle:
'07 335xi, '07 ZX6R
SV650 Race Bike

Post

It's midnight and I'm at work... I've had a total of 40 minutes of sleep in what is almost equal to 28 hours.... my car is covered with deer guts/*****/fur from a collision on 101a. I didn't hit the damn thing, the tractor trailer in front of me did... and it physically exploded. Where-else but all over my car. And I still laughed my ass off reading that...

Fitz

[This message has been edited by Fitz (edited October 13, 2000).]
Fitz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2000, 09:52 PM   #3
scoobyruman
Scooby Specialist
 
Member#: 969
Join Date: Feb 2000
Chapter/Region: NESIC
Location: RIP 99RS, 01PRELUDE SH, 02WRX,
Vehicle:
zip zip
we will see

Have a Nice Day?

I have to say i luaghed my a$$ off at it too but then i read yours and the way you put the whole situation into perspective I fell out of the seat in tears. First I was like oh $hit but then you said the 18 wheeler in front of you hit it so I died laughing im stilling laughing as i type this cuase all I can picture is your car and oyur face driving down the road as this happened here's mark just driving along managing to stay awake nevemind avoid anything coming at him probally following the 18 wheeler becuase its big and easy to keep your eyes on it when all of a sudden bambi's head smacks off the front of his windshield "hehehehe" well hope everything cleans off nice and easy i will try not to luagh hard when ii see you hehe talk to you soon.

Chad N
scoobyruman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2000, 10:16 PM   #4
Fitz
Scooby Guru
 
Member#: 1426
Join Date: May 2000
Chapter/Region: NESIC
Location: Goffstown, NH
Vehicle:
'07 335xi, '07 ZX6R
SV650 Race Bike

Post

I'll save a few pieces of morbid venison flesh to drape ceremoniously over your hood the next time I see you.
The car's ok. One of the Sate Troopers was nice enough to give me a gallon of water to pour over the car at the scene. It got most of the chunks/goo/blood off. There' still a few pieces of an organ or maybe an ear stuck to the passenger side. Effin scene stunk though..... I mean... REALLY stunk.

Fitz

[This message has been edited by Fitz (edited October 12, 2000).]
Fitz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2000, 11:20 PM   #5
stewartg2000
Scooby Newbie
 
Member#: 1570
Join Date: May 2000
Chapter/Region: NWIC
Location: Beaverton, OR
Vehicle:
2009 Impreza WRX
WR Blue

Post

omg, those are the two funniest things ive heard allnight. i need to start checking the other boards more often
stewartg2000 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-13-2000, 04:23 AM   #6
KC
Scooby Guru
 
Member#: 442
Join Date: Oct 1999
Chapter/Region: NESIC
Location: SE Mass/RI
Vehicle:
2013 Crosstrek XV
00 Honda S2000

Post

And this is why I'm not a deer person.
KC is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-14-2000, 07:18 AM   #7
Siper2
Scooby Guru
 
Member#: 1134
Join Date: Mar 2000
Chapter/Region: MAIC
Location: Dillsburg, PA
Vehicle:
2007 BMW 328xi wagon
Silver

Talking

See now THAT was funny!

-S2-
Siper2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
OT: Crazzzzy aussie practical joke show notjustforshow Vancouver Impreza Club Forum -- VIC 4 01-22-2008 08:54 PM
Here's a cool site if you're into this kinda thing... Wagon Joe Off-Topic 9 07-26-2005 11:50 AM
slightly OT: blonde/car related joke... ldivinag Bay Area Impreza Club Forum -- BAIC 1 10-29-2002 05:21 PM
is this a DET can? kinda thing? Turbo Tin Can Factory 2.0L Turbo Powertrain 0 07-17-2002 04:19 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:49 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Powered by Searchlight © 2014 Axivo Inc.
Copyright ©1999 - 2014, North American Subaru Impreza Owners Club, Inc.