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Old 10-14-2009, 06:07 PM   #1
bobturismo
Scooby Specialist
 
Member#: 42145
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: cruizin' down the street in my
Vehicle:
6-4 jockin da bish-
es and slappin the hoes.

Default Craigslist: Geo Metro $85 = Funny ad

**Warning: Do not read while eating or drinking!**

Quote:
For sale is a 1995 geo metro hatchback, puke green in color, quarter of a million hard miles, not highway (i drive this thing like the general lee). Mostly used to drive very fast through tight passageways in gilbert and tempe and for street racing. Engine is built for power-3 cylinder 1.0 liters. Always has fresh oil, changed every 500 miles, or whenever it is completely burned/leaked out of the engine. 5 speed manual transmission, more speeds than cylinders, perfect for revving very high and dropping the clutch to take off like a blind geriatric from a stop light. Very fast. Don't let the gay design, 7" wheels, and front wheel drive fool you, this whip will last in a street race. I've personally topped it out at 78 mph on a decline on the interstate while on the run from 4 cops with corvettes. If you're looking for a samaurai from the planet badass that would make Chuck Norris look like a *****, this is it. If it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow at noon-time, this car would look like Tom Selleck.



The good:


-48 hp in factory form (However, its been modified with custom wheels, custom exhaust, custom windshield wipers, custom seats, custom oil, custom hood, custom steering wheel, custom gauges, custom speakers, custom tires, custom antifreeze, custom antenna, custom rear bumper, custom seatbelt, and custom window cranks to ensure that this car is at it's peak condition. I'd estimate that the output is now somewhere around 30hp. All of these custom units were very heavy for this little car.)


-Great gas mileage, i've personally seen 50 mpg when romping the piss out of it and driving through the forest at high speeds by myself. However, whenever the cargo of the car exceeds 180lbs, the mileage drops exponentially. With two normal sized dudes driving in this thing, you might hit 12mpg with a lite foot.


-Looks like a retarded lima bean from a kid's cartoon


-Excellent Sound system (does not have a radio. I've been using a boombox without an antenna that recently broke so i threw it in the backseat with the cockroach infestation that breeds back there.)


-Tires have great tread (amazing considering the countless burnouts and stop-light races this car has been through)


The Bad:


-The roof sucks, its too low for tall people


-Seats are all ripped


-Interior is shot, looks like somebody was negligent during their previous ownership (me without a doubt)


-trash on the floor, smells like new jersey inside


-stereo missing, wires exposed, more than likely the product of a drug deal gone bad


-stains on the carpet. More than likely semen related, but who knows.


-Paint is chipped, tattered, altered, scraped, dented, bruised, peeled, faded, worn, etc. from sun damage and countless slammed doors.


-Penises are always drawn on the rearview window, i don't know who does it, but i'd do it too if i saw this piece of **** teletubby sitting across the street from my house


-Engine leaks oil


-Engine burns oil (never have to change the oil, since it leaks out when it's made it's rounds)


-Original air filter, engine is too greasy and grimey to consider changing it without resembling wesley snipes afterwards.


-Brakes squeak, but thats ok. It attracts attention so people know who to laugh at.


-Tranny grinds into 3rd, and fifth, but thats likely because i dont care enough to use the clutch.


-around 250k miles, but runs like a champ (from the special olympics)



Best investment i ever made. Attracts lots of college girls with self-esteem, daddy, weight, and eyesight issues. Not for the man with a weak stomach, or any boys. This car deserves a manly man. No women, you couldn't possibly appreciate this sex symbol. You can reach me on Mondays from 8am to 9am. The rest of my time is already packed listening to john mayer, railing college girls, ditching classes, and being a boss.


-Jack MeHauff


* Registered users of the site do not see these ads.

Last edited by bobturismo; 10-17-2009 at 05:07 AM.
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Old 10-14-2009, 06:20 PM   #2
bwrx03
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Member#: 174372
Join Date: Mar 2008
Chapter/Region: SCIC
Location: In a van down by the river
Vehicle:
Baby Im gunna butter
your biscuits

Default

lmao
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Old 10-14-2009, 06:27 PM   #3
The Satch
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Member#: 149174
Join Date: May 2007
Location: oh, you have a bf?
Vehicle:
that 's cool. i
have a goldfish.

Default

you owe me a keyboard
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Old 10-14-2009, 08:58 PM   #4
shwoop_soobie
Scooby Specialist
 
Member#: 102323
Join Date: Dec 2005
Chapter/Region: SWIC
Location: Prescott AZ
Vehicle:
99 power poles
beware

Default

i want it....
i miss my geo so bad
and that guy obviously knows his stuff about geos
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Old 10-14-2009, 09:36 PM   #5
szeny
Scooby Guru
 
Member#: 81383
Join Date: Feb 2005
Chapter/Region: SWIC
Location: Paradise Valley
Vehicle:
07 335i e90
TiAG/Dakota Black

Default

is this a real ad? i want to buy the car if its for sale
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Old 10-14-2009, 10:50 PM   #6
02blkwagn19
Scooby Specialist
 
Member#: 146496
Join Date: Apr 2007
Chapter/Region: SWIC
Location: Tempe, AZ
Vehicle:
02 WRX Wagon 2.1L
Built not bought. #0003

Default

funniest thing i have read in a long time!! gotta love those creative CL adds!
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Old 10-15-2009, 01:45 PM   #7
02WRX06STI
Scooby Newbie
 
Member#: 115023
Join Date: May 2006
Chapter/Region: SWIC
Location: peoria,az
Vehicle:
2006 STI
Aspen White

Default

ya i have some tannerite that i can use on this thing if it is for sale...
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Old 10-15-2009, 03:20 PM   #8
desmo750
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Member#: 111256
Join Date: Mar 2006
Chapter/Region: SWIC
Location: The land of R-tards, AZ
Vehicle:
1992 Legacy Turbo
don't call me white...

Default

I haven't laughed so hard in a while
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Old 10-15-2009, 04:37 PM   #9
06AZREX
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Member#: 132244
Join Date: Nov 2006
Chapter/Region: NWIC
Location: Everett
Vehicle:
2006 OBP WRX
2006 BMW 325i

Default

That just made my afternoon.....
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Old 10-15-2009, 04:47 PM   #10
racingfish
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Member#: 60976
Join Date: May 2004
Chapter/Region: SWIC
Location: Goodyear
Vehicle:
1969 LGT
FATURBO

Default

penises always drawn on rear window..... lol. Wheres Dozer????
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Old 10-15-2009, 05:12 PM   #11
ace1234
Scooby Newbie
 
Member#: 216566
Join Date: Jul 2009
Chapter/Region: SWIC
Location: Tucson AZ
Vehicle:
2006 WRX 18g xt
sgm

Default

HAHAHA thats great!!
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Old 10-15-2009, 07:35 PM   #12
wiresix17
Scooby Newbie
 
Member#: 215057
Join Date: Jun 2009
Chapter/Region: SWIC
Location: Mesa AZ
Vehicle:
2002 WRX
WRB

Default

even my wife laughed at this when I read it to her. she was ready to pee her pants she was laughing so hard at the retarded lima bean part
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Old 10-16-2009, 03:00 AM   #13
soobiewagen
Scooby Newbie
 
Member#: 226542
Join Date: Oct 2009
Chapter/Region: SWIC
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Vehicle:
1997 Outback Sport
"Knock off" Rally Blue

Default

I pee'd a little. And soda came out my nose at "romping the piss out of it" and I choked on my pizza at "awesome sound system"
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Old 10-16-2009, 04:55 AM   #14
Sanchez:)
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Member#: 226704
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Sacramento, CA
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by desmo750 View Post
I haven't laughed so hard in a while
couldn't stop laughing !!
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Old 10-16-2009, 05:02 AM   #15
Sanchez:)
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Member#: 226704
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Sacramento, CA
Default Get It!?

Jack MeHauff!!!!!!

hahaha
guys get it now?
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Old 10-17-2009, 03:49 PM   #16
STi_Scott
Scooby Newbie
 
Member#: 191941
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Minnesota
Vehicle:
2007 STI
SWP

Default

All of this for only $85? When can I pick it up?
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Old 10-17-2009, 03:53 PM   #17
codesoccer
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Member#: 179573
Join Date: May 2008
Chapter/Region: South East
Location: South Florida
Vehicle:
2002 MBP Bugeye
Flip Flop Tuned on corn

Default

that was hilarious, I'm gonna buy it and have it shipped here
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Old 10-17-2009, 10:56 PM   #18
All4BeSpinnin
Scooby Newbie
 
Member#: 210456
Join Date: May 2009
Chapter/Region: SWIC
Location: AZ
Vehicle:
2006 WRX
OBP - How Low Can He Go??

Default

hahahahaha
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Old 10-27-2009, 05:48 AM   #19
subystone
Scooby Specialist
 
Member#: 138598
Join Date: Jan 2007
Chapter/Region: RMIC
Location: O-Town!!!
Vehicle:
wrx impretza saloon
ralle de mundo azul

Default

funniest thing i've read in so long roflmfao
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Old 10-27-2009, 05:56 AM   #20
shatteringstar
Scooby Specialist
 
Member#: 149604
Join Date: May 2007
Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
Vehicle:
2006 Limited WRX
OBP

Default

around 250k miles, but runs like a champ (in the special olympics)
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Old 10-27-2009, 11:04 AM   #21
fourmicah
Scooby Specialist
 
Member#: 128760
Join Date: Oct 2006
Chapter/Region: RMIC
Location: Over there>
Vehicle:
2012 Ruckus/WRX
Red&White/Gray

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 02WRX06STI View Post
ya i have some tannerite that i can use on this thing if it is for sale...
This is a great idea, I would love to see another video where someone peels the roof back on a perfectly good geo.
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Old 10-27-2009, 07:29 PM   #22
madmax_087
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Member#: 197077
Join Date: Dec 2008
Chapter/Region: SWIC
Location: AZIC Mesa
Vehicle:
1992 Dodge Ram W150
BAN CORINATOR

Have a Nice Day?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sanchez:) View Post
Jack MeHauff!!!!!!

hahaha
guys get it now?
yeap, got it, and got when Farley said it too...
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