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View Poll Results: What cougar to tame?
Dan's Mom 6 24.00%
Brody's Mom 19 76.00%
Voters: 25. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 10-28-2009, 09:49 AM   #1
Subr-man
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Default I am bored and haven't been on in a while and I need a new Project!

So I turned thirty on Monday and I figured since i am maturing in age I should start enjoying some of the finer things in life. So recently I have been approached by two cougars on the prowl and I currently only have enough time in my schedule for one of them.

1) Dan's mom
2) Brody's mom

There are definitely advantages and disadvantages to both.

Dan's Mom
Pros:
1) She smokes therefore she pokes.
2)She is extremely limber. I mean come on has anyone else been with Dan? He had to learn "fit the seven bananas" trick from somewhere and you know it has to be hereditary.
3) Her ideal date night is a Happy Meal and a Donkey Punch.

Cons:
1) I heard she is hairier than Dan.
2) She bites her own toenails with her vagina.
3) Her sex partner track record makes Houston 500 seem like a seminary video.


Brody's Mom
Pros:
1) She is local so it would be less of a walk for her when I kick her out of my truck at Sapp Brothers truck stop.
2) She has had a kid so you know she is easy.
3) I really could use a Cosworth block in my car, and I am pretty sure she could facilitate.

Cons:
1) She is more conservative, so I would need to be more capable of having intellectual conversations for the first few dates unlike Dan's mom where I could just call up my 12 not-so-closest friends and head over with a sac of dong bags for a gang bang.
2) I don't know how comfortable I am giving her an Abraham Lincoln while Brody is in his Superman PJ's and Rainbow Brite sleeping bag only inches away on the side of her bed.
3) I heard her blowjobs are very teethy.

Either one would make an excellent candidate. My mod lists are pretty simple and similar for both:

Regular maintenance:
Check their fluids make sure they are lubed up.
Run them dry and if they act up choke them out.

Aftermarket Modifications:
Put a 10 inch straight pipe in them.

Body Work:
Fill any holes that exist and have been neglected or abused over time.

Goals:
1) Drive them hard until VTEC kicks in.
2) See how many rubbers I can burn drifting either one of them into the ground.
3) Put them on the streets for others to enjoy.
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Old 10-28-2009, 11:12 AM   #2
Not-EWRX
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You put some effort into this one didn't you?
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Old 10-28-2009, 11:12 AM   #3
pumpkyn
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irrelevant, your mom
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:15 PM   #4
Stames_wiltz
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Wow, you need to go love your wife.
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:20 PM   #5
Subr-man
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stames_wiltz View Post
Wow, you need to go love your wife.
lol. I got to work early this morning and the first time in three years completely caught up with my work and no tasks pending. So I saw Dan's project Poll and decided to make one of my own. It brought me humor.
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Old 10-28-2009, 03:10 PM   #6
aclver1
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I vote for limber, it can never be underestimated. Teethy BJ's can be can be a plus as long as she knows what she is doing, she just has to be careful.
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Old 10-28-2009, 03:12 PM   #7
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Why my mom? Why not your mom, or Jasons mom or lances mom or aarons mom or your wifes mom. or maybe your WIFE?
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Old 10-28-2009, 03:17 PM   #8
06HAWKMAN
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I say Brodys mom cause she can be your sugar mama, but it is hard cause with the attitude dan has you can clearly tell his mom would probably show you what is up in the sack. And I think the sound of Brody crying and sucking his thumb would get old pretty quick
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Old 10-28-2009, 03:19 PM   #9
bhhamblin
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Eat a dick Tony. He'd probably like your dad since he has a GTR. I live on my own. so im sure they wouldnt hear me crying...and i dont cry or suck my thumb.
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Old 10-28-2009, 03:22 PM   #10
06HAWKMAN
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damn, sorry for hitting that soft spot
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Old 10-28-2009, 03:25 PM   #11
bhhamblin
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It was a joke.
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Old 10-28-2009, 03:34 PM   #12
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go love your wife
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Old 10-28-2009, 03:47 PM   #13
Not-EWRX
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We Need some pics of Said mom's
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Old 10-28-2009, 04:03 PM   #14
ashergrey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Version:88 View Post
go love your wife


You going to be in the crawlspace with a pinhole camera?
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Old 10-28-2009, 04:08 PM   #15
Version:88
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no




















<-- getting poor phone reception from RJ's closet
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Old 10-28-2009, 04:22 PM   #16
06HAWKMAN
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dans


brodys
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Old 10-28-2009, 05:58 PM   #17
wantsti
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Wooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! hahah
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Old 10-28-2009, 07:02 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stames_wiltz View Post
Wow, you need to go love your wife.
You need to fix your car.
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Old 10-28-2009, 10:01 PM   #19
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Im pretty sure you have them mixed up. My mom doesnt fork out for no one. I think out of the two listed. She was the only one with a high paying job
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Old 10-28-2009, 10:10 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by godfather2112 View Post
Im pretty sure you have them mixed up. My mom doesnt fork out for no one. I think out of the two listed. She was the only one with a high paying job
No one but me. I am the only one that can fill that cavernous vagina.

<---- SEE
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Old 10-28-2009, 11:27 PM   #21
Subi-King
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This thread really made my day ROFL
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Old 10-28-2009, 11:34 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by godfather2112 View Post
Im pretty sure you have them mixed up. My mom doesnt fork out for no one. I think out of the two listed. She was the only one with a high paying job
Im pretty sure working for a grant committee and a law office gets good money...

**** you dan.
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Old 10-29-2009, 02:55 AM   #23
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Good times
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Old 10-29-2009, 03:08 AM   #24
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This thread is awesome! Hahah
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Old 10-29-2009, 10:41 AM   #25
wrxodee
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This made my day, I voted for sugar momma over easy piece, Although, I have a feeling Dan would be the better step-son
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