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Old 09-03-2011, 08:40 AM   #1
AVANTI R5
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Default THIS Is How You Review A Porsche: National Post Experiences Panamera Engine Fire, Rec

need5 TTAC

Quote:
Sorry for that crappy music. I didn’t put the music in there — JB
Once more in the Panamera breach, dear friends;
Or close up the blog with our press-car dead.





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4S8ik...layer_embedded




We (meaning I) have been awfully tough on Porsche’s Panamera this week, what with the Frank Greve article on corruption in the autojourno game and my own confessional regarding my Panamera experience.
To balance out the karma of the Porsche universe, I’ve found an article, published today, where the auto review for Canada’s National Post experiences a blown turbocharger in a Panamera Turbo S.
What happened, it was found out later, was that the right turbocharger (the Panamera has two) let go, pouring oil into the exhaust system. Unfortunately, the exhaust side of a turbocharger routinely reaches temperatures of 900C. Since oil burns at 500C, we had our impromptu car-b-cue. Covered in a fine patina of bromine (the fire retardant in portable extinguishers), clad in scorched bumper and dripping hot oil out its tailpipes, the Turbo S was a sorry sight and had to be medivac’d back to Toronto.
What the shill toady unbelievably corrupt pawn of people who consider him to be basically a robot who can be programmed to spew crap for a lower-middle-class wage journalist, David Booth, writes next may shock you, but it will almost certainly make you laugh.

The full review can be found here. Check it out if you like, but we will cover the relevant bits in the close reading which follows.
The article begins in medias res, as corner workers at the Shannonville race course run towards Booth’s Panamera.
the quad pipes belched a six-foot plume of flame as if the Panamera were trying to storm the Imperial Army on Iwo Jima. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t in the brochure.
What, you mean the part where the Germans helped take Iwo Jima? No, David, that part wasn’t in the brochure. David then goes on to discuss the likely cause of the fire, as detailed above: turbocharger blows up, oil goes into exhaust, massively hyperbolic, death-defying description of minor engine-area fire. Well, since this piece of **** $190,000 sports-car-cum-sedan blew up on a relatively tame track (Shannonville, while nice, is more of a large parking-lot autocross than, say, an inch-perfect recreation of Spa-Francorchamps), Booth then goes on to utterly eviscerate Porsche for building cars that can’t handle simple track work.
Right?
That’s what he does, right?
“So what’s the lesson in this, Dave?” you’re asking. “Don’t buy a Porsche Panamera Turbo S, right?’
Well, not quite. In fact, quite possibly the opposite. You see, though it was the wonky bearing that caused the turbocharger to go kaput (a German technical term related to rapid dispersion of lubricant), I may have contributed at least a little to its demise as my enthusiastic flailing along Shannonville’s long straight was not exactly the ideal way to break in a virtually brand new engine.
No, dumbass. Turbochargers don’t need to break in.
More tellingly, the Panamera’s big 4.8-litre V8 was completely unharmed by the conflagration, despite losing oil for more than half of Shannonville’s 4.03 kilometres with Yours Truly’s foot planted firmly to the metal. (Remember the dullard assertion – I had failed to notice those great plumes of smoke wafting behind me for almost an entire lap.)
That admission, right there, should make sure Mr. Booth never sets foot on a track again in his life. He wasn’t just being a “dullard” — he was risking the lives of others. Chances are that he ignored several flags along the way — that’s typical of journalists. I sat and watched Automotive Traveler’s Richard Truesdell ignore five black flags in a row a few months ago at a trackday event. If another driver had hit Booth’s oil, he could have been killed. It happens, and it happens because of people like Booth.
Okay, enough sanctimony, back to the unintentional humor.
The reason was simple. Porsche designs all its engines for the worst-case scenarios of racing.

One more time:
The reason was simple. Porsche designs all its engines for the worst-case scenarios of racing.

I’m sorry. Once more.
The reason was simple. Porsche designs all its engines for the worst-case scenarios of racing.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=E3P2SdEoMFE



I’m reminded of Harrison Ford’s famous comment to George Lucas while filming Star Wars: “George, you can type this ****, but you sure as hell can’t say it”. Never let it be said that David Booth can’t type what Gary Fong or his Canadian equivalent tells him. Let’s continue.
One of the by-products is that the Panamera’s engine carries a whopping nine litres of oil in its semi-wet-sump oil pan rather than the more common four or five.
Again with the “Semi Wet Sump” crap that Porsche has been pushing since the M96. It’s a “Semi Wet Sump” like Charles Manson is a “Semi Murderer”. My 993 has twelve quarts of oil in a true dry sump. If you want that level of genuine engine protection, buy a pre-2008 997 Turbo or any other Porsche which has roots in the old air-cooled cars. Don’t buy a watercooled Boxster/Cayman/Carrera, and don’t buy a truck, and don’t buy a Panamera.
Pretty much any other turbocharged motor would have lunched its components under the same circumstances… (In fact, I am going to drive it post-impeller surgery just to see if the doctors have made it as good as new.)
The first part is a lie, the second part — reminding Fong et al that you expect to drive the car again in exchange for fellating its dirty exhaust pipe in public — is probably a good idea. Speaking of, time for the money shot.
So, the lesson is this: Pray you never blow a turbocharger. But, if you do – and turbocharger failure isn’t as uncommon as might be thought – hope that you’re in a Porsche. Or a car that is equally over-engineered.
Actually, David, turbocharger failure in brand new cars is as uncommon as might be thought. Ironically, the 996 Turbo and friends were generally known for having stout turbos. Switzer, AMS, and other companies regularly develop 550-600 wheel horsepower on the stock turbos, and those cars cover a lot of miles in varied conditions. Still, any car can fail at any time. The great thing about this article isn’t that Panameras do or don’t fail, but the lengths Booth is willing to go to show you why a very expensive failure on a brand-new car means the Panamera is awesome.
One last thing. What would have happened if Booth — hold on, I have some more laughing to do. What would have happened if Booth — cough — chuckle — owned a Panamera Turbo and blew a turbo at the track? Yes, I know, the idea of a journalist buying a car is hilarious. The answer is found in the left-hand column of page ten of the Porsche Limited Warranty, which lists exclusionary conditions under which mechanical failures will not be covered:
  • Abuse, accident, acts of God, competition, racing, track use, or other events
A further clarification below:
Note 1:Components and/or parts that fail during racing or driving events (including Porsche sponsored events) may not be covered by the new car Limited Warranty.
Let’s amend Booth’s craven PR ad copy to something that’s a little more real:
So, the lesson is this: Pray you never blow a turbocharger. But, if you do – and you’re in a Porsche – better hope nobody at the track saw it happen.
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Old 09-03-2011, 08:46 AM   #2
AVANTI R5
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Default

sorry for the crappy post guys, I got hit hard by Irene and I am using a phone, I got no power (2 more weeks at least), my generators where all crushed by trees with my home. So it's tuff posting news for you guys I am really sorry. OK Enough of that...
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Old 09-03-2011, 10:27 AM   #3
Suby*Doo
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Interesting read. Hope you and your family are okay during the storm!
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Old 09-03-2011, 10:28 AM   #4
DarkstarII
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Sorry to hear that Avanti. Thanks for posting news even though it's difficult!
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Old 09-03-2011, 03:08 PM   #5
Uncle Scotty
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I know that pain.....lived in florida a long time......hurricane charley went directly over my house....jesus that was a crazy summer
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Old 09-03-2011, 03:50 PM   #6
manticus
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The response to the article reads more like a snarky, vengeful post instead of an actual journalist seeking the "truth".

[quote=AVANTI R5;35023486]
Quote:
What the shill toady unbelievably corrupt pawn of people who consider him to be basically a robot who can be programmed to spew crap for a lower-middle-class wage journalist, David Booth, writes next may shock you, but it will almost certainly make you laugh.
Uh, ok - nice objectivity here. If you want to argue the writing, go ahead. Attacking the person before even starting that argument just weakens your own argument.

Quote:
What, you mean the part where the Germans helped take Iwo Jima? No, David, that part wasn’t in the brochure. David then goes on to discuss the likely cause of the fire, as detailed above: turbocharger blows up, oil goes into exhaust, massively hyperbolic, death-defying description of minor engine-area fire. Well, since this piece of **** $190,000 sports-car-cum-sedan blew up on a relatively tame track (Shannonville, while nice, is more of a large parking-lot autocross than, say, an inch-perfect recreation of Spa-Francorchamps), Booth then goes on to utterly eviscerate Porsche for building cars that can’t handle simple track work.
Right?
That’s what he does, right?
Completely irrelevant statements thus far from the responder that have nothing to do with what the original author wrote.

Quote:
No, dumbass. Turbochargers don’t need to break in.
First accusation. The journalist didn't say the Turbocharger needed to be broke in. Again with more personal attacks and still without any shred of evidence of wrong-doing by the journalist yet.

Quote:
More tellingly, the Panamera’s big 4.8-litre V8 was completely unharmed by the conflagration, despite losing oil for more than half of Shannonville’s 4.03 kilometres with Yours Truly’s foot planted firmly to the metal. (Remember the dullard assertion – I had failed to notice those great plumes of smoke wafting behind me for almost an entire lap.)
So another accusation (again, without any real evidence to the contrary, we just have to believe that he was driving around an entire lap with smoke billowing out of the tailpipe) to attack his intelligence, but nothing specific about the writing yet.

Quote:
That admission, right there, should make sure Mr. Booth never sets foot on a track again in his life. He wasn’t just being a “dullard” — he was risking the lives of others. Chances are that he ignored several flags along the way — that’s typical of journalists. I sat and watched Automotive Traveler’s Richard Truesdell ignore five black flags in a row a few months ago at a trackday event. If another driver had hit Booth’s oil, he could have been killed. It happens, and it happens because of people like Booth.
So... we have to "assume" that he drove around the track for an entire lap, and if we make that assumption, then we must also ASSUME that he ignored a bunch of other red flags along the way, then we must also ASSUME that this risked the lives of others as well because of a dangerous oil slick he left on the track that we ASSUME was never noticed by anyone else. --- and then he marks it up to "typical journalists" because this writer saw some other guy ignore other black flags as well at a different track day event. So, OBVIOUSLY, all of these assumptions mean that Booth is responsible for all of the events that could have killed people that day (and earlier days, apparently).

Quote:
Okay, enough sanctimony, back to the unintentional humor.
Sanctimony? So far all we've read IS humor.

Quote:
Again with the “Semi Wet Sump” crap that Porsche has been pushing since the M96. It’s a “Semi Wet Sump” like Charles Manson is a “Semi Murderer”. My 993 has twelve quarts of oil in a true dry sump. If you want that level of genuine engine protection, buy a pre-2008 997 Turbo or any other Porsche which has roots in the old air-cooled cars. Don’t buy a watercooled Boxster/Cayman/Carrera, and don’t buy a truck, and don’t buy a Panamera.
And now the rest of the article is attack on Porsche, comparisons to a serial killer, etc. and how you should only by pre-2008 997s or air-cooled Porsches because of a Semi Wet Sump on the V8.

Quote:
Still, any car can fail at any time.
Ooooooooooh. Really???? NO WAY!

Quote:
The great thing about this article isn’t that Panameras do or don’t fail, but the lengths Booth is willing to go to show you why a very expensive failure on a brand-new car means the Panamera is awesome.
I think the only thing Booth is guilty of in this regard is saying that he was lucky that the rest of the Porsche held up pretty well considering the catastrophic failure. If these failures were commonplace you could make the conclusion that somehow the Panamera has awful build quality, but Booth didn't go there and somehow that's his fault?

And the rest of the article goes on to say how Porsche won't cover a warranty for things that happen with track use. Uh... isn't that pretty standard across the spectrum?

And look... I wrote that without once calling someone a dumbass.
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Old 09-03-2011, 07:33 PM   #7
elirentz
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^ I agree.

I'll also add that turbos do need to be broken in. At least mine did when new. Improper break in meant loss of warranty for the turbo.
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Old 09-03-2011, 08:09 PM   #8
Eyeflyistheeye
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AVANTI R5 View Post
sorry for the crappy post guys, I got hit hard by Irene and I am using a phone, I got no power (2 more weeks at least), my generators where all crushed by trees with my home. So it's tuff posting news for you guys I am really sorry. OK Enough of that...
NASIOC is the least of your worries right now. Your family and home come first.
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Old 09-03-2011, 10:29 PM   #9
hkerekes
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I blew a turbo in my semi.

35 quarts of 15w40 blew out the exhaust. It only holds 45 including the filter. Engine was fine.

Thats all i got.
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