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Old 08-20-2002, 03:17 PM   #1
ryball
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Default Some "friends" of mine just cancelled their wedding...(long rant)

This probably won't interest any of you, so stop reading now. I just have to vent on the off chance one of you has some advice.

Okay, so here is the story these two "friends" of mine just sent me separate emails letting me know that the wedding is being "delayed" with "no rescheduled date yet planned". The reason I say "friends" is a long story in itself.

I lived with this guy and two others in a house during college. This a$$hole friend of mine finally scored six years ago and bagged himself a decent girl that kinda liked him. They started hanging out and eventually "figured they were dating".

**CLUE #1**

So anyway, we figured it would mellow him out, getting laid and all. WRONG. He got worse. Started treating her like a servant/pet ordering her to do everything while he sat on his lazy a$$ watching T.V. None of the roommates liked the way he treated her and it got so bad that two of us actually took the time to bring it up to him.

**CLUE#2**

So she goes through three years of this before saying anything. Finally, she complained... to the wrong people. She would corner us and demand advice.

her: "I think he is really holding me back. He treats me like crap. What should I do?"

me: "have you talked to hime about it?"

her: "kinda, but he just gets all defensive"

me: "leave him."

her: "I know, I know. I keep telling myself that, but I don't know."

Two more years of that...

her: "What should I do?"

me: "leave him."

her: "What should I do?"

me: "leave him."

her: "What should I do?"

me: "leave him."

her: "What should I do?"

me: "leave him."

She had conversations like this with LOTS of different people. All of them told her the same thing.

**CLUE#3**

So he finally moved out because we had all grown to hate him not just for the way he treated her, but for tons of other reasons.

[TANGENT]
Which brings me to another problem. He used to keep a list of things he had done for you so that he could throw it in your face when he "needed" something. Friends do things for friends because they are friends, not because they "owe" them. If he would have just asked, I'm sure any one of us would have no problem helping with whatever. But since he came at you with a list of crap, we all began to resent him.
[/TANGENT]

Anyway back to the subject. We would talk to both of them every once in a while and things were going okay, I guess. Then I get an email from her...

"Oh, we are engaged. We figured we've been together long enough, it's about time we get married. Oh, and we're buying a house together"

**CLUE#4**

W... T... F...


By this point, I had just written them off. If they are both too stupid to realize what's going on, let them do it.

So about three months ago, one of the roommates runs into her at a bar. She is with a bunch of friends and they are all pretty well tossed. She corners him and starts in the whole " I hate him, he is totally holding me back. He treats me like ****" speech.

He's like "Okay, it was good to see you. Take care."

So we figure it's over. There is NO way she is going to go through with it. That is until we got the wedding invitations...

















me: "Oops, I lost it. Where did my invitation go? What did I do with it? Gosh, must have lost it."

I was trying to think of any reason that I could miss this freakshow trainwreck.

"I've got some rare disease that makes me allergic to weddings."
"I can't. I'll be in Russia that weekend"
"My grandma's going to die that weekend"
"I'm blind and I can't find the church"

Months past, then, I got another email...

"We have postponed the wedding and have not set another date. We have "issues" that need to be dealt with before any plans are made."

The invitations had gone out months ago. I can only assume people had made arrangments to come in from out of state. I'm guessing all the reservations for the wedding and reception had been made. Not to mention the deposits...









Then I get his email.

"I have been meaning to call you. The wedding has been called off. She is moving out at the end of the month. Apparently she has now decided after six years that I am not the right guy."

And the follow-up email:

"I forgot to mention I apparently have anger issues."

No shat sherlock...

yeah... looking in the mirror is good, mmkkkkaaaayyy?

So here (after all my ranting) is where I need your help. What the hell am I supposed to say when I get the inevitable phone call from both of them?!?!??!!?

The other problem is, what is he going to "do". Referencing the above mentioned "anger issues"... He is notorious for burning bridges and holding grudges (for years). He has burned every bridge from every job he has ever had (and that's a LOT) so he can't use any of them as references. Yet he still keeps getting jobs. I can only hope he will be an adult about this whole thing, although I can see how he'd be more than a little upset.

Bah, I'm so glad I know that nothing like this will EVER happen with my girlfriend and I...

:monkey: to retarded friends
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Old 08-20-2002, 03:24 PM   #2
GooseMan
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I would avoid both of them like the PLAGUE

if EITHER of them call, try not answer or return their calls if they leave a message.

If you DO happen to speak to either of them, offer them ZERO advice to help thier situations, dont be friendly with them and try to blow them off. Hopefully you'll never have to speak to them again.

Just try to get rid of them. They sound like USELESS people that would only add stress and trouble to your life, which I doubt you'd need.

And if that guy says that 'you owe me a favour' go to his house and kick him in the sack. Twice, for me

:monkey:
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Old 08-20-2002, 03:29 PM   #3
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It's sad to say this is most interesting topic in OT at the moment and I actually read it.

First of all... thank God that girl finally came to her senses and left that bag of shyt.
He has some major issues, but so does she.

It's best that you did vent all this here. I'd reply to that email saying that it's good that they decided to think things thru, since it sounds like it could have been a big mess... or something along that line.

I would just stay the hell out of it from now on. Don't be a messenger. Don't sit wasting your time and listening to both of them bitch about the other. Ugh... I'd rather be friendless than deal w/that crap.
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Old 08-20-2002, 03:29 PM   #4
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All I can say is if you're IQ is over 100 there is no reason for you to hang around with these people or even call them friends. They are idiots and that girl is as dumb as a box of rocks. My advice: Do not allow yourself to be contacted by them. Become scarce to them. Get some new friends.

CB
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Old 08-20-2002, 03:31 PM   #5
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Default Re: Some "friends" of mine just cancelled their wedding...(long rant)

Quote:
Originally posted by ryball

I was trying to think of any reason that I could miss this freakshow trainwreck.
That's the funniest sentence I've read today. I actually laughed out loud. Good times...
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Old 08-20-2002, 03:39 PM   #6
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Default Re: Re: Some "friends" of mine just cancelled their wedding...(long rant)

Quote:
Originally posted by cwb124
That's the funniest sentence I've read today. I actually laughed out loud. Good times...
I was just going to post the same thing.



Ryball, sorry to hear that but you and anyone else invited to their wedding is better off. Life's too short to deal with f'd people like that.
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Old 08-20-2002, 03:46 PM   #7
ryball
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Quote:
Originally posted by GooseMan
And if that guy says that 'you owe me a favour' go to his house and kick him in the sack. Twice, for me
Just the kind of advice I was looking for, thanks!
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Old 08-20-2002, 03:47 PM   #8
ryball
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Default Re: Re: Some "friends" of mine just cancelled their wedding...(long rant)

Quote:
Originally posted by cwb124
That's the funniest sentence I've read today. I actually laughed out loud. Good times...
I got a little chuckle out of it myself!
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Old 08-20-2002, 04:12 PM   #9
AC Lerok
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Default Re: Some "friends" of mine just cancelled their wedding...(long rant)

Quote:
Originally posted by ryball

"Oh, we are engaged. We figured we've been together long enough, it's about time we get married. Oh, and we're buying a house together"
worst reason to get engaged EVARRRRR! S@($U@$(T@$FK 56K 56K 56K <death>
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Old 08-20-2002, 06:36 PM   #10
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heh.

I know a girl who was "engaged" with no date set for like 4 years. Within two weeks of meeting her I told her he was never going to marry her and she should leave him. (side note: she's one of the hottest girls I've met. ever.) So they bought a house together.
Then she finally got sick of it and called it off - still no date set and no hope for one. Duh. It only took her like 2 years after I told her so. Then she married Fireman Mike. Bah. He showed her religion or something.
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Old 08-20-2002, 07:53 PM   #11
Hazdaz
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The sad truth is that USUALLY idiots like your "friends" end up having a kid togther - so they can bring a life into this world, and then ruin it.
Dumb a$$es.
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Old 08-20-2002, 08:00 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hazdaz
The sad truth is that USUALLY idiots like your "friends" end up having a kid togther - so they can bring a life into this world, and then ruin it.
Dumb a$$es.
Yeah, look on the bright side: at least they didn't reproduce ... did they?


Coati (whose own wedding takes place in 2.5 months )
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Old 08-20-2002, 08:38 PM   #13
Hazdaz
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COATI - ESCAPE while you still can (with 1/2 your income still intact)....
good luck dude!
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Old 08-20-2002, 08:40 PM   #14
subymamma
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She'll probably start to miss him because she has low self-esteem and needs to be treated like crap since she thinks it is what she deserves.

They'll get back together and she'll get pregnant. Then the wedding is planned and the marriage lasts maybe 2, 3 years. Then he's calling you asking can he stay with you awhile since he's paying alimony and child support and can't afford to eat.

Get out now, while you have time, these kind of people are like huge hungry black holes... or a$$holes, whichever...

Anyway, this is the scenario I see played out. Be careful.

Tell them you're working alot of hours and overtime, and have a sick aunt with cancer that you spend alot of off time with, helping out. You're just tapped out and don't be surprised if you aren't even able to reach me, I'm hardly home enough to know what it looks like... that should work.
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Old 08-20-2002, 08:47 PM   #15
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Quote:
It's sad to say this is most interesting topic in OT at the moment and I actually read it

ya things are so bad a lot of us are reading it. my advise is for you to change your number... hide the numbers on the side of your house... and change your answering machine message to I HAVE DIED LEAVE ME ALONE. hes a user and shes got more issues then mahatma Gandhi
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Old 08-20-2002, 09:01 PM   #16
COwannago
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Give em both the beatdown, they are both needy trash(okay I don't really know that). Also, point and laugh, they will quit talking to you after that.

Nick C.
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Old 08-20-2002, 09:07 PM   #17
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She'll just find another ****ed up guy
He'll find another girl to turn into his slave

it's sad i know...


Take your own advice, and leave them both. just aviod them, stop talking to them man...

-Gagan
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Old 08-20-2002, 09:12 PM   #18
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Yep she'll find somebody new to treat her like crap and she'll like it for a while before she gets to wonder what it would be like to have somebody else treat her like crap and she'll move onto the next guy. Luckily for the rest of us these guys actually make the rest of us seem so much better by comparison.
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Old 08-20-2002, 09:24 PM   #19
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Just wear aluminum foil on your head and talk about how dragons are all around us but they are hard to see because they are invisible. That's what I do and no one talks to me besides the odd stare and the ocassional "that dude's F'in nuts" comments.


I would take Suby Mamas advice, she nailed it perfectly. She is a woman with low self esteem who needs to be treated like crap because that is what she believes she deserves. I've lost count of the women I've had the "What should I do? You should leave him... I will tomorrow!" conversation with. They always come back... I think that's how it got the name *****, you can treat a cat like **** and it will come back to you meowing evey time...

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