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Old 05-22-2013, 12:05 PM   #1701
sweed
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Originally Posted by justincredible View Post
I don't normally do this, but I felt compelled to tell you something.

You have an absolutely breathtaking heiney... I mean, that thing's good.
I wanna be friends with it.
and my apartment smells of rich mahogony
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Old 05-22-2013, 12:05 PM   #1702
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Dude just go up and say, "Hi I'm sweed, what's your name? I see you here a lot". Or buy her gummy worms. Bitches love gummy worms.
*BAM* fingers in the *****!

I always thought this thread was to celebrate the single life...wow, was I wrong.
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Old 05-22-2013, 12:06 PM   #1703
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The reason I'm interested is because she looks swedish (as am I, hence my handle, and yes I know 'sweed' its spelled wrong, it's on purpose).

I get too worked up, and feel like I'll say something dumb. That's why I want to go the swedish route and ask her if she is or not, then ask her name, and bam, I'm in, .... or just buy her a 5 lb bag of gummy worms
Swedish fish instead.
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Old 05-22-2013, 12:08 PM   #1704
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And the Swedish House Mafia playing as background music.
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Old 05-22-2013, 12:09 PM   #1705
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Swedish fish instead.
If this were Facebook... I would "LIKE" that! Plus you're a beer guy, so I'd like it twice... but that would just unlike my first like, so I'll just like it once.
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Old 05-22-2013, 12:11 PM   #1706
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nope.

Last edited by AndyRoo; 11-08-2013 at 11:45 AM.
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Old 05-22-2013, 12:15 PM   #1707
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Dude just go up and say, "Hi I'm sweed, what's your name? I see you here a lot". Or buy her Swedish Fish. Bitches love Swedish Fish.
Fixed!


Edit: not fast enough...

Last edited by Turbopit; 05-22-2013 at 12:21 PM.
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Old 05-22-2013, 12:19 PM   #1708
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More of a rant than anything but, this girl is not even a GF or anything. I asked some friend I know to be my wedding date a few months back, said yes. now a few days before the wedding, bish is mad flaky. Not that she didn't have a tendency to be flaky, but **** me. Im amazed people take DAYS to respond to a text msg with a simple "yes" or "no", even then the response was still unclear. **** that. cutting this bitch off completely and asking a few back ups.

twtr bby, it's that girl i texted you about a while back. So glad I haven't tried pursuing further, man. really dodged a wapce bullet I think.
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Old 05-22-2013, 12:28 PM   #1709
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You sound like my brother, except a lot more successful. He is the KING of getting first and second dates (outings) but has so much trouble with quickly falling into the friend zone.

Anyway, your situation is not a bad place to be. I went on a few dates with a girl, hit it off real well, then she said she wanted to take it slow. I said I understood and pulled back just a little. She quickly fell head over heels. The rest is craziness and it turned out I didn't really like her, but the moral of the story is that if she is a cool chick you can definitely end up where you want to be.



Hey I know that girl!
Ya I have pretty much just held off and going to just not text her for awhile and see what happens..there are plenty of girls out there but this one fits the mold pretty well to what I like. She seemed to have lots of interest but has become kinda weird with the hole slow thing...whatever I will not plan for anything to happen this weekend.
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Old 05-22-2013, 12:57 PM   #1710
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More of a rant than anything but, this girl is not even a GF or anything. I asked some friend I know to be my wedding date a few months back, said yes. now a few days before the wedding, bish is mad flaky. Not that she didn't have a tendency to be flaky, but **** me. Im amazed people take DAYS to respond to a text msg with a simple "yes" or "no", even then the response was still unclear. **** that. cutting this bitch off completely and asking a few back ups.

twtr bby, it's that girl i texted you about a while back. So glad I haven't tried pursuing further, man. really dodged a wapce bullet I think.
Not to play Devil's Advocate here, but I'm guilty of doing this to guys and girls alike. It basically means she doesn't want to go, you're no longer a priority, or something more important came up. I'd say it's time to move on. And yes, yes you did especially with those little extra details you failed to mention at first. You know...you know.


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Originally Posted by wteGDF View Post
Ya I have pretty much just held off and going to just not text her for awhile and see what happens..there are plenty of girls out there but this one fits the mold pretty well to what I like. She seemed to have lots of interest but has become kinda weird with the hole slow thing...whatever I will not plan for anything to happen this weekend.
In all honesty, girls like this shouldn't even be dating if you're going to take things beyond slow. I can understand holding off on sex as that's a personal choice, and you gotta respect that. But to go super slow on all aspects is just...odd. If you haven't made a move by the 2nd or 3rd date then your chances of NOT getting friendzoned is pretty bad, even if you technically didn't do anything wrong.
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Old 05-22-2013, 01:08 PM   #1711
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Not to play Devil's Advocate here, but I'm guilty of doing this to guys and girls alike. It basically means she doesn't want to go, you're no longer a priority, or something more important came up. I'd say it's time to move on. And yes, yes you did especially with those little extra details you failed to mention at first. You know...you know.




In all honesty, girls like this shouldn't even be dating if you're going to take things beyond slow. I can understand holding off on sex as that's a personal choice, and you gotta respect that. But to go super slow on all aspects is just...odd. If you haven't made a move by the 2nd or 3rd date then your chances of NOT getting friendzoned is pretty bad, even if you technically didn't do anything wrong.
Ya I totally agree with you Tweeter. I understand on the whole sex thing and I wouldn't need to push that as it is not something that has to be done straight away. She doesnt even consider these dates that we have had as she doesn't want to think of them that way...I kinda stopped trying analyze **** but being an engineer I overthink everything haha. If I dont hear anything all day and tomorrow I think I will just move on and delete her number off.
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Old 05-22-2013, 01:16 PM   #1712
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Ya I totally agree with you Tweeter. I understand on the whole sex thing and I wouldn't need to push that as it is not something that has to be done straight away. She doesnt even consider these dates that we have had as she doesn't want to think of them that way...I kinda stopped trying analyze **** but being an engineer I overthink everything haha. If I dont hear anything all day and tomorrow I think I will just move on and delete her number off.
That's fine. I mean if she's cool and you like hanging out with her go for it, I just wouldn't hold my breath for anything now that I know the whole situation here. And I would definitely keep my options open. What's this girl's name?
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Old 05-22-2013, 01:19 PM   #1713
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Haha name dropping. Her name is Diana. I do like her as she is really cool and we got along really well...just feels like back peddling as of now. I know she is super busy with work and she told me that out right the first day but from day one I said I was understanding and dont mind moving slow and becoming friends and seeing what happens from there.
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Old 05-22-2013, 01:35 PM   #1714
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This girl should not be dating (or whatever she wants to call it). Seems like she just wants a diversion or someone to hang out with occasionally. She has friends for that I'd imagine. I really don't feel like it is fair to you for her to pull bs like this. The next time she says this go slow stuff I'd pull a bold move - Tell her to stop wasting your time with games. Tell her you like her, she seems to like you and you are not asking her to meet your family or be exclusive, so stop complicating it and go with the flow and see what happens. She might like it.

I also feel like even if someone is super busy, if they like you and want to be with you they will make the time.
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Old 05-22-2013, 01:50 PM   #1715
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This girl should not be dating (or whatever she wants to call it). Seems like she just wants a diversion or someone to hang out with occasionally. She has friends for that I'd imagine. I really don't feel like it is fair to you for her to pull bs like this. The next time she says this go slow stuff I'd pull a bold move - Tell her to stop wasting your time with games. Tell her you like her, she seems to like you and you are not asking her to meet your family or be exclusive, so stop complicating it and go with the flow and see what happens. She might like it.

I also feel like even if someone is super busy, if they like you and want to be with you they will make the time.
You have good points and I feel the same way. I just dont want to come off too much as a jerk. She is the one who arranged the first meeting and what to do and pretty much asked me to come out the second time so ya...I would like to just text her and tell her I do like her but I am hesitant to do so. I agree with the super busy thing, I am usually very busy at work but when I get off no matter what time it is I usually dont mind doing things up until 12 or 1 cause who cares if your tired the next day...
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Old 05-22-2013, 01:54 PM   #1716
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Just for the story and lesson learned, huh?



She just shut down emotionally and physically because of the stress of living together. And it all snowballed from there. Some of it was conflict between her kids (one in particular) and me. I was following her lead on the kids and we thought we were on the same page there, but apparently not. Then there was her resentment and unhappiness of living in my house and them feeling like guests. Simple things that easily could have been addressed if she had just talked about them. She decided she and her kids needed their own space. According to her, us dating again and starting over was her plan all along - which was news to me. Anyway, none of that can be changed.



Yeah, that is sort of what I am doing now. We have seen each other occasionally (dinner, talking) and remained in contact since she moved, so it has not been a clean break. I don't feel like it is right to continue that way since it is clear she wants the relationship again. And I don't want to string the new girl along either. I really like her so it is hard not to make this a choice between the two.
So a week or so after this I decided I had not given reconciliation with the ex a fair chance. By dating other women during the time we were still talking and seeing each other I had not given it my full attention to really see if it could work. It took a long time to get bad and get to the point where she moved, so I felt like I didn't give it time to see if it could be different. So I broke it off with the other woman. That was very hard, but I told her the truth and she understood. Didn't like it of course, but wanted me to be sure with the ex in case anything ever came of her and I.

So for the past 3 weeks I have been seeing the ex occasionally. With my work travel and our kids, we haven't spent much meaningful time together. Went to a winery one day, had dinner a couple of times, other than that talking by phone and texting. During that time she has ceased doing any of her reading/self help stuff, but has been much more communicative about our situation, what needs to change, my needs in the relationship, etc. But there has been very little chemistry between us. It seems very forced and not very fun. And while I like seeing her and enjoy our contact between those times, I don't have that feeling that I can't wait to see her. Maybe I am expecting to much since we've been together so long. The honeymoon phase was quite a while ago after all. But when we are together its like an old married couple. We are both kid free this weekend, so I am hoping it is different and we have a good time. If not, I think it is time to move on once and for all.

Last edited by Rice & Gravy; 05-22-2013 at 02:06 PM.
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Old 05-22-2013, 01:59 PM   #1717
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You have good points and I feel the same way. I just dont want to come off too much as a jerk. She is the one who arranged the first meeting and what to do and pretty much asked me to come out the second time so ya...I would like to just text her and tell her I do like her but I am hesitant to do so..
Well maybe not say it EXACTLY like I did. I didn't realize these non-date dates were her ideas. Well that's a good sign. Maybe patience is the best approach, but definitely tread lightly on being the friend and waiting - that's a hard role to break out of.
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Old 05-22-2013, 02:07 PM   #1718
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You have good points and I feel the same way. I just dont want to come off too much as a jerk. She is the one who arranged the first meeting and what to do and pretty much asked me to come out the second time so ya...I would like to just text her and tell her I do like her but I am hesitant to do so. I agree with the super busy thing, I am usually very busy at work but when I get off no matter what time it is I usually dont mind doing things up until 12 or 1 cause who cares if your tired the next day...
I'd just not talk to her for awhile. That's really the only smart play at this point. If she brings up the "slow" thing again, then I'd do what Rice & Gravy said, but word it a little differently. Basically just tell her you like her, and you're not into the mind games and leave the ball in her court. This way you aren't burning any bridges, but leaving on a note with a spine still in tact.


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Originally Posted by Rice & Gravy View Post
So a week or so after this I decided I had not given reconciliation with the ex a fair chance. By dating other women during the time we were still talking and seeing each other I had not given it my full attention to really see if it could work. It took a long time to get bad and get to the point where she moved, so I felt like I didn't give it time to see if it could be different. So I broke it off with the other woman. That was very hard, but I told her the truth and she understood. Didn't like it of course, but wanted me to be sure with the ex in case anything ever came of her and I.

So for the past 3 weeks I have been seeing the ex occasionally. With my work travel and our kids, we haven't spent much meaningful time together. Went to a winery one day, other than that talking by phone and texting. During that time she has ceased doing any of her reading/self help stuff, but has been much more communicative about our situation, what needs to change, my needs in the relationship, etc. But there has been very little chemistry between us. It seems very forced and not very fun. And while I like seeing her and enjoy our contact between those times, I don't have that feeling that I can't wait to see her. Maybe I am expecting to much since we've been together so long. The honeymoon phase was quite a while ago after all. But when we are together its like an old married couple. We are both kid free this weekend, so I am hoping it is different and we have a good time. If not, I think it is time to move on once and for all.
Important parts bolded. Age is just a number, you should never start feeling like the "old married couple". I understand it can be tough with the kids, but it's not like you up and left them via your own free will. Someday they'll understand.

If you have to "force" anything or things aren't very fun with you're with someone else, or you lose that "can't wait to see them" felling then you're doing it wrong. A lot of relationships fail because of this. One side loses some interest, the other side notices and they try and "force" feelings back ultimately pushing th one losing interest away all together.

Good luck.
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Old 05-22-2013, 02:15 PM   #1719
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Important parts bolded. Age is just a number, you should never start feeling like the "old married couple". I understand it can be tough with the kids, but it's not like you up and left them via your own free will. Someday they'll understand.

If you have to "force" anything or things aren't very fun with you're with someone else, or you lose that "can't wait to see them" felling then you're doing it wrong. A lot of relationships fail because of this. One side loses some interest, the other side notices and they try and "force" feelings back ultimately pushing th one losing interest away all together.

Good luck.
Exactly and I agree - of course I've got nearly 20 years on most of you guys and have actually been an old married couple. Not with her, but getting comfortable and complacent in a relationship, married or not, is inevitable. She is comfortable with it being a little boring and sometimes I am too. But right now, when we are trying to reestablish a connection and relationship, I feel like there should be more spark and omfg this is awesome. But then I go back to it sucking for a long time, so its not possible to just flip a switch and make it great again. I love and care for her and always will, but I am questioning whether I am still in love with her.
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Old 05-22-2013, 02:16 PM   #1720
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Originally Posted by Sparconx88 View Post
Can we like switch brains?..Honestly I don't really know..I'm pretty sure I know what the outcome will be if I continue to talk to her or see her.yeah things might go well for a while but I'm sure ill be digging myself back down that hole that I feel I'm starting to crawl out of..It's more of just wanting to know what the **** happened that you don't want to see me anymore than it is wanting to be with her..its rare finding a girl that's gorgeous AND is fun to hang out with...so for ****s and giggles what is this thing you would say to her to get her to respond? I think she would respond to anything id say but I still don't get the whole lets just stop talking thing..
Hmmm, there's actully quite a few that are good looking and like doing fun stuff. Give me a minute to mull it over exactly, and I'll get back to you.


Any Idea's on this whole what to say if I decide to text her yet? I'm 80 percent to the point where i'll just say **** it it's not worth it for these reasons and the fact that she hasn't contacted me in over a week. But that 20 percent wants to know why we seemed to be having a great time and that you even said I "connected with you mentally" or whatever bs came out of her mouth...I know bitches be cray but this is just driving me crazy..as stated before, the daddy issue girls seem to be the girls I've been meeting lately and not by choice. But this chick is extremely fun to be around and is way sexy..efffff
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Old 05-22-2013, 02:21 PM   #1721
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Any Idea's on this whole what to say if I decide to text her yet? I'm 80 percent to the point where i'll just say **** it it's not worth it for these reasons and the fact that she hasn't contacted me in over a week. But that 20 percent wants to know why we seemed to be having a great time and that you even said I "connected with you mentally" or whatever bs came out of her mouth...I know bitches be cray but this is just driving me crazy..as stated before, the daddy issue girls seem to be the girls I've been meeting lately and not by choice. But this chick is extremely fun to be around and is way sexy..efffff
*Rubs hands together

Send this sentence exactly as it appears below (without the quotes):

"You're everything I never knew I wanted in a girl..."

Don't write anything else.


EDIT: To prove it'll work I'll send the same message now and post the results. And now we wait.

Last edited by Tweeter; 05-22-2013 at 02:29 PM.
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Old 05-22-2013, 02:30 PM   #1722
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Old 05-22-2013, 02:30 PM   #1723
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I've got mad text game, son. PM knows what's up.
















**** bitch u is wierd. <3
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Old 05-22-2013, 02:31 PM   #1724
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Response -

"who is this?"
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Old 05-22-2013, 02:35 PM   #1725
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Haha I wish I could use a text phrase to alleviate the weirdness.
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