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Old 01-31-2013, 10:57 AM   #1
Tweeter
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Default Have any of you guys ever been to a gang bang? A9? Whoretelpro?

A friend of a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to be involved in something, I was like (lolwut) but go ahead tell me. Mind was blown when he told me he goes to legit gang bangs and asked me if I wanted to join in one tonight; I kind of hesitated but was like **** it and said yes.

So I get there and I've had a few drink so I can let loose more, I come in and theres the dude I was talking to, 1 more dude and 3 moderately attractive chicks. Everybody is pretty friendly and we have some drinks, asking if I've ever done this before I say no. The owner of the house then get gets this large plastic cover and puts it on the floor; I thought it was for all the jizz flying everywhere so I thought nothing of it.

We slowly start undressing and Im making out with this girl, soon were all naked and nobody is ****ing just making out, I try to put it in the girl but shes like no not this time, Im just thinking in my head lol ok WTF so I just kinda sit there awkwardly but then the chick tells me to lie down.

Ok cool so shes over me and I think shes gonna reverse cowgirl me but then I see her butthole expand, all of a sudden I hear a large fart noise and I look to the left and this chick just ****ted all over the dude and hes moaning in pleasure. I yell out WTF and as Im about to get up and GTFO from this house something hit me straight in the chest and splashes into my face, this bitch just shat on me and I start dry heaving. Everybody starts laughing and saying things like "he didn't expect this did he".

I push the girl away and get up, I dont know what to do at this point, I want to put my clothes on and leave but I really just want to take a shower in this house then GTFO. The girl is laughing and tells me this is a scat party, are u ****ing kidding me. The girl is still on her knees and I roundhouse kick her in the neck as hard as I can, I hear a snap and both dudes get up and start crying and yelling at me.

They start coming at me and I start throwing hands while Im still naked and penises flap all over the place while the feces is also flying all over the place off of us. I say enough of this **** and pull my Beretta out of my coat (thank god I had a CCW who knows how else it would have gone without it) and unload bullets into their heads, they fall dead while there still 1 girl whos alive, shes begging for me not to kill her and I just run the **** outta there. So glad to be home now, I will eventually shower Im a little tired though at the moment.
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Old 01-31-2013, 10:59 AM   #2
Badler
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Default

A+ Would read again.
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:00 AM   #3
Jard
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and DADCORE

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I came.
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:01 AM   #4
ZIP23
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Goldish

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Old 01-31-2013, 11:01 AM   #5
martel
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2014 Leaf

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See ya in a week!
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:02 AM   #6
AJ711
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I pooped came.
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:03 AM   #7
Asinine
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Yeah, but I'm a lover, not a fighter. I'm also a big believer in open communication and compromise. I like to make sure that I know what I'm getting into, and all of my gang-bangs have ended amicably. No violence unless it's agreed upon before hand.
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:03 AM   #8
subaru3169
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**** ya, man
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:04 AM   #9
sorbee711
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OT, we're a-holes
b/c we are bored at work

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So, basically a pretty typical Wednesday night?
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:04 AM   #10
boxered
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Looking for the pics...
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:05 AM   #11
Brad Pittiful
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This ain't no picnic!

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i think an ella fitzgerald scat party is way different
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:05 AM   #12
Tweeter
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Asinine View Post
Yeah, but I'm a lover, not a fighter. I'm also a big believer in open communication and compromise. I like to make sure that I know what I'm getting into, and all of my gang-bangs have ended amicably. No violence unless it's agreed upon before hand.
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:06 AM   #13
parkerpaxton5
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Mayor of OT.

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I lold a little bit.
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:07 AM   #14
Stretch18
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It burns when I PP

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Way to **** up a perfectly good scat party, *******...
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:10 AM   #15
silver arrow
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2008 Black Miata

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Old 01-31-2013, 11:12 AM   #16
mrmojoz
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This hole thread is ****ty.
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:17 AM   #17
FellowTraveller
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2007 Impreza
Newport Blue Pearl

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I heard the rule at a circle jerk is to grab the dick to your right.... As a left-handed individual, I wonder about the quality of those 17% of recipients who end up on the wrong side of the process.
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:22 AM   #18
vapore0n
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2010 BMW 335i
Blue

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So then the snake said: ...

Better Nate than lever

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Old 01-31-2013, 11:22 AM   #19
ZMANNH25rs
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. Truth is a
pathless land...

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Lucky...I've always wanted to party with the Joy Angeles girls...
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:22 AM   #20
pjcoregon
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It stinks like sex in here
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:23 AM   #21
ZMANNH25rs
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. Truth is a
pathless land...

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by vapore0n View Post
So then the snake said: ...

Better Nate than lever

I still owe half-baked a kick in the nuts for that one...
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:23 AM   #22
OriginalSin
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not cool, they died
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:27 AM   #23
pjcoregon
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweeter View Post
We slowly start undressing and Im making out with this girl, soon were all naked
Suspension of disbelief engaged...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweeter View Post
They start coming at me and I start throwing hands while Im still naked and penises flap all over the place while the feces is also flying all over the place off of us. I say enough of this **** and pull my Beretta out of my coat (thank god I had a CCW who knows how else it would have gone without it)
Wait? Naked with a coat on?
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:28 AM   #24
boxered
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by pjcoregon View Post


Wait? Naked with a coat on?
Always keep coat within reach, always.
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:30 AM   #25
pjcoregon
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by boxered View Post
Always keep coat within reach, always.
I think we need to send this back for a slight rewrite.
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