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Old 10-30-2013, 07:35 PM   #3676
XplicitRacingDesign
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ko843030 View Post
Dear BRAND new C6 corvette owner today,

Wish you would've had a chance.

Sincerely,
The 4 cylinder car that smoked you from a 60 roll.
Wouldn't a brand new one be a C7?
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Old 10-31-2013, 01:48 AM   #3677
ko843030
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Quote:
Originally Posted by XplicitRacingDesign View Post
Wouldn't a brand new one be a C7?
Sorry, 2013. My bad.
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Old 11-01-2013, 12:44 AM   #3678
LostInPhilly89
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Dear driver of the grey Chevy HHR,

Just because you have "daytime running lights" doesn't mean you also have "daytime running taillights." I saw ten different people nearly rear end you because your grey vehicle blends in with the night. Turn on your lights before you cause an accident.

Sincerely,
Lights on
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Old 11-01-2013, 01:24 PM   #3679
Smoblikat
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jamz View Post
Dear ass-tards:

I own you all in my huge SUV. Your puny mortal vehicles are naught but speedbumps in my path, and small ones at that. Stay out of my way in parking lots, interstates, side roads and driveways, and we will get along fine.

My truck is superior in size, weight, momentum, static and dynamic energy, and smog smug production. I can do what I want. I have to step *down* from my cab just to get down to your level, you diminutive, nasal, whining little irritants.

I drive an SUV. I am HUGE. I am IRONMAN. I have SPEED DIAL. I can put on MASCARA, EAT a FAST FOOD BURGER, and TALK TO my BROKER or DAUGHTER'S SOCCER COACH. I have everything, and embody everything that's great about consumerism.


Regards,

45% of the driving public.





who can tell I'm driving a rental Ford Explorer SUV for the first time?
Fixed
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Old 11-01-2013, 11:30 PM   #3680
fivestringslinger
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Dear General Motoring Public,

I'm the driver of that semi from earlier today.

Now... I'm not writing you to hassle you about those times that you cut across three lanes of traffic and just a couple of feet off my front bumper to hit that exit ramp. You've taken that exit every day on your way to work, right? You just spaced that it was coming up again. Who can remember everything, really? And besides - my heartbeat returned to normal just a few short minutes later once the adrenaline wore off.

And no, it's not about those times where you were merging onto the highway. You know - those times when you had already gotten up to speed on the ramp and I dropped my speed back a little to let you in front of me? I always wondered why you chose to brake at the last minute so that you ended up right alongside my trailer when your lane was about to end. Maybe you just wanted an excuse to extend your middle finger out the window at me while honking your horn. I see you got your nails done recently. Looks nice!

Oh - and those times where I've needed to shift over a lane, but you sped up suddenly the moment I turned my signal on so I wouldn't get in front of you? Don't even sweat it. I was just trying to give that guy parked on the edge of the shoulder a bit of room while he was changing out a flat tire. I was going to move right back over after I passed him, but I'm sure it was really important that I didn't slow you down even for a minute or so. Who has time these days?

This isn't even about the way that you like to jump out of line in traffic and race up the "exit only" lane to cut in front of me, then slam on your brakes to avoid rear ending the car I'm following. It's cool. This truck only weighs 80,000 pounds. It stops on a dime! Besides. It was great getting a chance to admire the stick-figure family on your back window while we were stuck in that traffic jam for the next half hour. I'm sure getting ahead another 75 feet really saved you some time!

It's not about any of that. I mean, you're clearly much more important than I am. I'm only at work, doing my job. This truck is only 75 feet long, 102 inches wide, 13'6" tall and bends in the middle. It handles like a dream, and the visibility's great! You've got serious stuff to attend to. Like getting to the beach or going skiing. Vacation time just can't be wasted. It's all good.

What I'm writing to tell you is this: I'm really, truly sorry that I didn't blast my air horn for you when you drove up next to me with your arm pumping out the window. I saw you scowling at me with disapproval, and your kids just looked heartbroken! I wasn't ignoring you - it's just illegal for me to do that.

I promise I'll make it up to you, though. Tell ya what. Next time you're in front of me at a red light, just keep texting away when the light turns green and I'll reach up and give that horn a nice long blast for you! It'll be fun!

Sincerely,
The Guy In The Big Slow Truck
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Old 11-02-2013, 01:35 AM   #3681
DHarp220
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Dear bitch in the ford escape

You flashed your brights at me and slammed on the horn passing me the other way on my way to work. You turned around to be an even bigger bitch and complain to my boss that I never turned my highbeams/brights off when we passed. Since you left before I could actually talk to you and call you a dumb bitch you left. Now I'm on here telling everyone about it in a whimsical way. About how you're stupid and didn't under stand I didn't even have my head lights on in the middle of the day. About how much I hate you because I might have lost a promotion.

-love
the 2.5i driving with running lights on.
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Old 11-02-2013, 01:37 AM   #3682
DHarp220
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fivestringslinger View Post
Dear General Motoring Public,

I'm the driver of that semi from earlier today.

Now... I'm not writing you to hassle you about those times that you cut across three lanes of traffic and just a couple of feet off my front bumper to hit that exit ramp. You've taken that exit every day on your way to work, right? You just spaced that it was coming up again. Who can remember everything, really? And besides - my heartbeat returned to normal just a few short minutes later once the adrenaline wore off.

And no, it's not about those times where you were merging onto the highway. You know - those times when you had already gotten up to speed on the ramp and I dropped my speed back a little to let you in front of me? I always wondered why you chose to brake at the last minute so that you ended up right alongside my trailer when your lane was about to end. Maybe you just wanted an excuse to extend your middle finger out the window at me while honking your horn. I see you got your nails done recently. Looks nice!

Oh - and those times where I've needed to shift over a lane, but you sped up suddenly the moment I turned my signal on so I wouldn't get in front of you? Don't even sweat it. I was just trying to give that guy parked on the edge of the shoulder a bit of room while he was changing out a flat tire. I was going to move right back over after I passed him, but I'm sure it was really important that I didn't slow you down even for a minute or so. Who has time these days?

This isn't even about the way that you like to jump out of line in traffic and race up the "exit only" lane to cut in front of me, then slam on your brakes to avoid rear ending the car I'm following. It's cool. This truck only weighs 80,000 pounds. It stops on a dime! Besides. It was great getting a chance to admire the stick-figure family on your back window while we were stuck in that traffic jam for the next half hour. I'm sure getting ahead another 75 feet really saved you some time!

It's not about any of that. I mean, you're clearly much more important than I am. I'm only at work, doing my job. This truck is only 75 feet long, 102 inches wide, 13'6" tall and bends in the middle. It handles like a dream, and the visibility's great! You've got serious stuff to attend to. Like getting to the beach or going skiing. Vacation time just can't be wasted. It's all good.

What I'm writing to tell you is this: I'm really, truly sorry that I didn't blast my air horn for you when you drove up next to me with your arm pumping out the window. I saw you scowling at me with disapproval, and your kids just looked heartbroken! I wasn't ignoring you - it's just illegal for me to do that.

I promise I'll make it up to you, though. Tell ya what. Next time you're in front of me at a red light, just keep texting away when the light turns green and I'll reach up and give that horn a nice long blast for you! It'll be fun!

Sincerely,
The Guy In The Big Slow Truck
I am guilty of a few of those things. If I ended up cutting you off ever before I'm sorry.
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Old 11-02-2013, 02:20 AM   #3683
DHarp220
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Guys I'm sorry, I just want to put a lot of my stories on here and word them as letters

Dear black '06ish jetta on 55

I was enjoying just cruising with you going 80 something and you did have a nice car, but I slowed down to get off at that exit. You slowed down too and just happened to be in the right lane. You cockblocked me from my exit and I ended up racing you to the next so I could actually go home.

Dear dad with the awesome tattoo.

I had no idea a cr-v could drive so easily over a pile of dirt. I also had no idea what you were doing when you demonstrated that by driving off the road and up next to me at a single lane intersection just to compliment me on my latest wrap. I'm sorry I couldn't talk though because I was late for work.

Dear **** in the Lincoln navigator

I'm never paying you for a new bumper after my rear tow hook punctured it. I was braking miles before I would have regularly because you can't seem to find your brake pedal. I drove faster to get away from you and you could clearly see everyone stopping ahead of time. Why is you had to nearly kiss my bumper every time? you're a hazard to everyone on the road and the bottom half of your grill is not a pleasant sight to see in anyone's rearview mirror.
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Old 11-05-2013, 04:52 PM   #3684
kilfarsnar
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2006 WRX Ltd Wagon
CGM, VF39 Brentuned

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Dear half of my fellow drivers,

Stop texting and driving. Just stop. I see so many of you on my drive home from work splitting your attention between the road and your Facebook app. You'll say you can handle it, but your weaving and slowing down and lane encroaching say otherwise.

I know listening to the radio is like, so last century. But put down the damn phone while you're driving! Just drive. Considering what I see daily, that is a big enough challenge by itself.

Sincerely,
The guy who just drives while he's driving.
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Old 11-05-2013, 05:01 PM   #3685
XplicitRacingDesign
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kilfarsnar View Post
Dear half of my fellow drivers,

Stop texting and driving. Just stop. I see so many of you on my drive home from work splitting your attention between the road and your Facebook app. You'll say you can handle it, but your weaving and slowing down and lane encroaching say otherwise.

I know listening to the radio is like, so last century. But put down the damn phone while you're driving! Just drive. Considering what I see daily, that is a big enough challenge by itself.

Sincerely,
The guy who just drives while he's driving.
Yup! I'm not 100% innocent, I'll use talk to text to make quick one word responses. Or type a word or two while at a light.. etc. But I see people at highway speeds just stating at their phones for several minutes at a time. I saw a lady yesterday with a magazine opened across her steering wheel reading away while driving. Texting and social media while driving is def a major problem. But reading books and applying make up and other distracting things is no better.
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Old 11-05-2013, 08:45 PM   #3686
fivestringslinger
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06 Triumph Speed Triple

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Dear Dude In The Blue WRX Getting Onto I-84 West In Maybrook NY Around 5:30 This Afternoon,

Hey there. Guy In The Big Slow Truck again. Just wanted to say sorry if I scared the crap out of you. I was turning left from the westbound I-84 offramp in the red Freightliner as you were turning right to get on heading west. I saw you hesitate and stare at me like the proverbial deer in the headlights in the middle of making your turn.

You probably thought I was going to head straight through to get back on the interstate, right? Taking your front clip with me in the process? Nope. No worries. I've got your back! I just had to swing that turn extra wide, thanks to the prick that decided to stop way past the stop line. I waved, but doubt you saw me. It was dark. Car looks and sounds great, though!

Looking forward to getting back to my car in a few days.

Sincerely,
Big Slow Wide Turning Truck Guy
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Old 11-05-2013, 08:47 PM   #3687
Counterfit
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Location: Rhode Island
Vehicle:
2006 06 SGM Slowbaru
"The Scoobinator"

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Clench factor three
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Old 11-07-2013, 09:40 PM   #3688
lokilabs
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Uh yeah! Dear lady driving you're stupid little car slowly pulling into my lane while doing 70. Don't you know you aren't smart enough to do two things at once? Put the cell phone down and pay attention to the beautiful WRX inches away! Rolls down window and wishes he had multiple birds to flip.
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Old 11-18-2013, 11:00 AM   #3689
Sidewinderpb
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2011 BMW e92 335i
BSM

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Dear lady,

Going forward, perhaps it would be in everybody's best interest if you would look behind you before flooring it in reverse. Maybe - just maybe - my car was behind you. Your insurance company will be hearing from me today.
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Old 12-08-2013, 05:11 AM   #3690
STi Boy
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2013 WRB BRZ

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Dear rusted Forester, 2 CR-Vs, and Rav-4 drivers,

Stop tailgating me. I know my BRZ is slow already damn it. You guys/old ladies must be proud of your fly by's.

Sincerely,
slowest sports car
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Old 12-09-2013, 08:29 PM   #3691
SmartMart
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Dear ~75ish Y/o Woman

Please Please Please Look While Turning. I know that turkey gobbler neck gets in the way of turning your head while checking for oncoming traffic.. But checking for said traffic may save your life someday. You're Damn Lucky I Have ABS & Good Reactions.

Sincerely,
That Man You Flipped Off For Honking At You.
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Old 12-09-2013, 09:00 PM   #3692
LostInPhilly89
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World Rally Blue

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Dear driver of the blue Ford Explorer,

I wish I had your license plate number. Thanks to the ice that you neglected to clean off of your roof this morning, you now owe me for car repairs. You're lucky you didn't shatter my windshield, or I would have stopped at nothing to hunt you down!

Sincerely,
Broken windshield frame

Last edited by LostInPhilly89; 01-01-2014 at 02:41 AM.
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Old 12-18-2013, 05:21 PM   #3693
coyote73176
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I'm surprised there haven't been a lot more posts in this thread, with the two snow storms we've had over the last week.

But here goes:

Dear Silver Audi A4 Quattro,

I know there was some slush on the roads at 6pm last night. If you followed the ruts from previous cars, you would have noticed you can see the pavement below (meaning there is no snow there).

Driving no more than 15mph, which I'm sure made you feel safe, was somewhat disheartening to the more than 20-30 cars whom are now stuck behind you. Its a single lane road with no real passing zones, so in future, and maybe as a Holiday gift to all of those stuck behind you, pull over and let us pass. Taking 15 minutes, to travel a little over 3 miles, on a road where safe travel speed could easily by 35-40mph was unsettling.

Sincerely,

The guy that got stuck right behind you, with all the other cars (that were behind me) right on my butt.
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Old 12-19-2013, 09:06 AM   #3694
ekbrown37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kilfarsnar View Post
Sincerely,
The guy who just drives while he's driving.
LOL
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Old 12-19-2013, 09:06 PM   #3695
SergioC
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Dear Deer;

Don't wait for the car going 5mph over the speed limit to have to honk at you to move to the side of the highway, and even then still change lanes so I had to high beam someone who was approaching the crest of the hill 50 yards later and couldn't see you. I wish you would be so dumb in my back yard and give me plenty of time to get out the shotgun, bow or whatever and turn you into Christmas dinner. Or give me time to call all my friends over so no one can miss and we are assured a stew. You taste better when shot in your vitals once than crushed by a car; you die either way, but your meat is better preserved and no one else is hurt. So stop on by and act the same way you did the other evening.
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Old 12-19-2013, 10:43 PM   #3696
Counterfit
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"The Scoobinator"

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Dear dickbag in the S60,

That was such a badass move, using the shoulder to pass me after your lane ended. Add in the fact that it was RT 2 and we were approaching a one lane work zone and I can only come to the conclusion that your testicles are bigger than your brain.

Last edited by Counterfit; 12-19-2013 at 10:48 PM.
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Old 12-26-2013, 09:57 AM   #3697
mikedonny
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Dear 1995 Civic Driver,

I would love to cream you in a race from a green light, but if you couldn't notice, smoke was coming from under my hood. As much as i'd like to do irreparable damage to my engine i must decline your offer to race today. My valve cover gasket and i would like to get a raincheck for next time.

Thanks for understanding,
Roxy, and Me.
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Old 12-26-2013, 10:26 AM   #3698
Jack
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(From General)

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Dear Lexus SUV driver:

You clearly are a Rt 128 driver and are used to the manditory lane changes every 18 seconds or less that the law requires there. Of course your average speed is 48, but by changing lanes all the time, you must be getting there faster, right? Please observe that us 495 drivers tend to stay in our lane and go 80. So when you had to cut in front of me, leaving 1 foot in order to just "get in front of that guy", I will admit that I first went into "track" mode and didn't brake....I just stayed that 1 foot away. At an opportune time, I slowly made my way over a lane to first get away from you, second, get over to the far right lane, third, slowly but surely use the gap to move ahead and lastly set a pic like a basketball player, making your lane slow significantly while appearing to be an innocent who wasn't planning to slow you down.

Yes, I'm a dick. Oh well. Yah, I watched you in my mirror and accidently moved one lane or another so that the car you just passed ended up in a faster lane as you moved farther and farther behind me. I must be evil. Go back to 128 where you belong, Mr Lexus SUV driver.
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Old 01-01-2014, 02:46 AM   #3699
LostInPhilly89
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2014 Impreza WRX
World Rally Blue

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Dear driver of the dark blue minivan,

Nice job passing that slow truck in the shoulder. It's not like he was already in the temporary slow truck lane. Oh, wait, that's exactly where he was! What the hell were you thinking?!
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Old 01-01-2014, 03:47 AM   #3700
aerosaaber
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WRC Blue

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Dear dumbass bitch
It is customary to look to the rear prior to reversing out of a parking spot. I know that it's a challenge to see through the windows that were *sort of dirty* and I know I'm only *kind of* as big as a Yeti. I also know it's a challenge to hear a Yeti cursing you as he tried to avoid being run down. Pulling up next to me to "apologize" by saying your windows are dirty so you couldn't see me and that your "music was up" so you couldn't hear me does not make my feeling hurt any less.

If I had been with my 3 year old son I would have smashed your ****ing window and the rest of your ****ing POS small SUV. Stop being a ****ing moron and stay home from October through April.

Sincerely,
The guy who nearly dragged you through your dirty window to pummel you to the beat of your music.

Bitch.
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