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Old 08-06-2003, 10:09 PM   #1
2.5RSMatt
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Unhappy Can anyone help me out? anyone? advice?

Ok, I posted in here a few times and got ripped on about crap that I posted but I'm comming here for some advice.

I've been in a relationship with my girlfreind for 11 months now and for the last 2 months things have gotten very rocky. She cheated on me, well I don't know if cheated is a little harsh or not but she kiss another guy from where she works and told me about it and said that he is one of those people who she thought she'd enjoy being with but felt nothing during the kiss and blah blah blah. We were about 9 months into the relationship when that happened and I forgave her. I didn't want to throw away all wonderful 9 months over a kiss but she wasn't sure and couldn't understand why I forgave her and she broke up with me. Well about 3 hours after that she 'un-broke' up with me and since then things have been up and down. She has mostly guy friends because of the way she is being tomboy like and I can look past it and understand and I try not to get jealous but now and again it will get to me.

Last night she invited me downtow to see a show "Joseph and the amzing technicolored dreamcoat" and I went but when I got there she said the only way she was able to get tickets was from a guy at work who's wife and mother couldnt go because his mom broke her hip or something. Well this guy has fully admitted to my girlfriend that he like sher and all and hes 24 and shes 21 but thats besides the point. Anyway so here I am sitting in a theatre with my girlfriend and a married guy who is in love with her.

What I'm asking is what should I do. I love her more than anything and her family too but everyday now I feel like shes going to break up with me because she even told me that she doesn't love me like her previous boyfriend who she was engaged to. She met me a year and a bit after breaking up with him. I wasnt her first boyfriend after that either.

Well for all you that cared to read all that what should I do?
I love her too much to let her go but I don't want to hang on to something that will never work.

help?

-Matt
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Old 08-06-2003, 10:12 PM   #2
FunkerVogt
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Let her go. Wait a few months and see where she is then. Chances are, she'll be involved in some new drama. If not, try to works things out then.
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Old 08-06-2003, 10:13 PM   #3
Mike Wevrick
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Default Re: Can anyone help me out? anyone? advice?

sorry, Matt

Quote:
Originally posted by 2.5RSMatt
I feel like shes going to break up with me because she even told me that she doesn't love me like her previous boyfriend who she was engaged to.

I don't want to hang on to something that will never work.

I think you have your answer already. It will hurt, but the sooner you give up on her the sooner you can heal and move on.
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Old 08-06-2003, 10:17 PM   #4
Brad Pittiful
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that sucks dude...but its time to part with her...she seems to be putting you in awkward situations and it seems like she likes walking all over you and using you
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Old 08-06-2003, 10:21 PM   #5
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Default Re: Can anyone help me out? anyone? advice?

Quote:
Originally posted by 2.5RSMatt
I've been in a relationship with my girlfreind for 11 months now and for the last 2 months things have gotten very rocky. She cheated on me, well I don't know if cheated is a little harsh or not but she kiss another guy from where she works and told me about it and said that he is one of those people who she thought she'd enjoy being with but felt nothing during the kiss and blah blah blah. We were about 9 months into the relationship
-Matt
Don't take this as a rip, but this is where I stopped reading, and I can't fathom that there would be any more to the story.

Lose the head case and get some one better for you.
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Old 08-06-2003, 10:22 PM   #6
hthrly2002
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i've been cheated on many times by people i have cared for. my ex fiancee cheated on me but i didn't find out till after we broke up.

bottom line, i personally think that u should give her another chance. maybe take a vacation together to rekindle that feeling u guys had before she "cheated".

also, u don't know if she did anything more than just a kiss either. she may have told u that not to hurt you. if u can still trust her, and u still want to be with her, give it some time.

i have alot of guy friends. some of them have told me in the past they liked me. i am Still not attracted to them. i am able to have guy friends that i work with and not want anything more. make sure she is happy at home.

i would also tell her that it still bothers u a little bit that she kissed someone. maybe have a "brutally honest" session with her. sit her down and have her tell u what u want to know. if things don't happen the way u hoped, it wasn't meant to be.
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Old 08-06-2003, 10:25 PM   #7
Angel
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she cheated on you and doesn't love you as much as she loved other and told you..let her go man. it'll just get more painful
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Old 08-06-2003, 10:25 PM   #8
4x4GGG
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Ignore Heather's post. She's a head case too!







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Old 08-06-2003, 10:27 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by CheeseRocket
Ignore Heather's post. She's a head case too!







yea, u would know.


either way, u have to decide what's best for you and not her. worry about numero uno. she wasn't worried about u when she kissed him.
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Old 08-06-2003, 10:29 PM   #10
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Default Re: Can anyone help me out? anyone? advice?

Quote:
Originally posted by 2.5RSMatt
Ok, I posted in here a few times and got ripped on about crap that I posted but I'm comming here for some advice.
-Matt
Grow a pair and break up with her. It sounds like she's going to break up with you anyhow. You might aswell make it on your terms. But it does sound like she's walking all over you. Don't let yourself be played like that playa.
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Old 08-06-2003, 10:29 PM   #11
4x4GGG
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Quote:
Originally posted by hthrly2002


yea, u would know.


either way, u have to decide what's best for you and not her. worry about numero uno. she wasn't worried about u when she kissed him.
You think it's sweet that your ex gives you greeting cards. Pysco.


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Old 08-06-2003, 10:30 PM   #12
4x4GGG
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Default Re: Re: Can anyone help me out? anyone? advice?

Quote:
Originally posted by obyone


Grow a pair and break up with her. It sounds like she's going to break up with you anyhow. You might aswell make it on your terms. But it does sound like she's walking all over you. Don't let yourself be played like that playa.
Bingo... and take her down hard. I'm talking in public, in front of her friends, in front of her parents, wipe it on the curtains on the way out the door kinda thing.
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Old 08-06-2003, 10:34 PM   #13
Ken
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I know those types... get the hell outta there.
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Old 08-07-2003, 12:03 AM   #14
BlackBeastie
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Default Re: Can anyone help me out? anyone? advice?

Quote:
Originally posted by 2.5RSMatt
•She cheated on me, well I don't know if cheated is a little harsh or not but she kiss another guy from where she works and told me about it

•I didn't want to throw away all wonderful 9 months over a kiss but she wasn't sure and couldn't understand why I forgave her and she broke up with me.

•She has mostly guy friends because of the way she is being tomboy like and I can look past it and understand and I try not to get jealous but now and again it will get to me.

•Last night she invited me downtow to see a show "Joseph and the amzing technicolored dreamcoat"

•Well this guy has fully admitted to my girlfriend that he like sher

•I feel like shes going to break up with me because she even told me that she doesn't love me like her previous boyfriend who she was engaged to

•I love her too much to let her go but I don't want to hang on to something that will never work.

-Matt
I hope that you realize that you will be better off without her in the long run. I know it's hard to think about, but it's true.
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Old 08-07-2003, 12:46 AM   #15
2.5RSMatt
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Thanks so much for all the advise. We're going to Great America Monday to get away and have a day together which we haven' t done in a while. I'll see how it goes then. I know, I'm a damn poon but the thing is shes not the bitch walking over me type but rather she doesn't know that she's doing it. We had the brutally honest discussion when we broke up and got together again and I think it is time for another.

This is such a pain but I guess it's all a part of learning.

-Matt
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Old 08-07-2003, 12:53 AM   #16
Matt
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Cool

Kick her ass to teh curb.

Then get in your RS and come to Florida to hang out on the beach.
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Old 08-07-2003, 03:39 AM   #17
wolf8314
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Dude I dont mean to piss you off, but your girl sounds very very immature

She cheated on you????????? You forgave her, she breaks up with you???

She knows a dude is married????? He has confused a crush???? She still hangs out with him???? Hmmmmm sounds like she loves attention...............hence why she has guy friends.....cause they give her attention


Dude from what you have said............I would just let her go. No kicking her to the curb, but its obvious you dont trust her. Its not a healthy relationship and its only gonna get worse
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Old 08-07-2003, 10:36 AM   #18
Jessie James
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Not to be mean, but here's my take (speaking from experience, of course!)

1. You're a DOORMAT.
2. You have NO BACKBONE.
3. She is walking all over you
4. She is cheating on you now, and will forever cheat on you in the future because YOU LET HER.
5. She does not love you because she does not RESPECT YOU.
6. You will be miserable if you continue letting her treat you like this.

It only took me 11 years to learn my lesson in a similar situation.

"Just a kiss" will soon be "Spent the night."

"Married man" will soon be "Biker dude" or "Raquetball instructor" or "Drummer in that band."

You will catch a VD and have to get it taken care of.

She will start coming home at 2am. Then 4am. Then not until the next afternoon.

Everyone will know that you have no backbone.

Bottom line - she is using you. Do not pay her way for anything any more and see if she sticks around. If not, then there is your answer. You are a giant wallet to her.

Sorry to be harsh, but like I said... speaking from experience!
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Old 08-07-2003, 10:42 AM   #19
AC Lerok
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if you even have to ask these questions, the answer is always "walk away"
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Old 08-07-2003, 10:47 AM   #20
Soon2bSubbieowner
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I mean really.. re read your very first post and you tell us what you should do.
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Old 08-07-2003, 11:01 AM   #21
sorbee711
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Cheating is cheating and really the fact that she cheated shows a willingness to do it again.

If you don't break up with her you are going to be in for a lot of hurt. The problem is likely that you'll be headed for breaking up with her and then have a good day and think stuff is great. Then it will get bad.. and so on. For your own good you have to break up with her.
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Old 08-07-2003, 11:18 AM   #22
ScubieTheFierce
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Default once a cheater..........

always a cheater.

get rid of her now before it gets worse. you'll have a hundred other relationships after this, time heals all wounds, etc, etc......
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Old 08-07-2003, 11:31 AM   #23
hthrly2002
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what do u want from this relationship? is she making an effort to make it work? is she remorseful (sp?) for the kiss?

yes it is a kiss, but do u think u can get past that?

my ex fiancee made out with a mutual friend less than a month into the relationship. we lasted for another year + after that.

it's your choice. either get over it or find someone that wants to be with you.
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Old 08-07-2003, 11:42 AM   #24
docwhorocks
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Another vote for drop her like 2nd period math.

She doesn't love you as much as her ex? I see love as on or off, you either love someone, or you don't. There are no levels of love when it comes to a SO. Sure there are different types of love (SO, parents, grandparents, etc.), but not loving one bf more than another. She either loves you or just likes you.

To me sounds like she doesn't even like you enough to not cheat on you. She tested the waters to see if she get away with it. Now she knows she can and she'll go for a long swim next time. Save yourself the head & heartache and drop her.
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Old 08-07-2003, 11:43 AM   #25
plunk10
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Does she drive a Honda Prelude? I used to date a girl who moved to Sacramento. And she did break off an engagement with someone. I haven't talked to her in a long time. Man that would be hella ironic
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