Leykis 101!!! Taught here!...More Tail For Less Money!!!

[Habu]

Sigh....well I've gone and done it...not really because it's mysogyny thursday or anything, but because of all the whiny woman threads lately, it's time to reeducate my brothers!...and by request...so here goes....

Welcome to Leykis 101, the online adult education course that teaches men how to get more tail for less money!....More importantly, we teach women how men think....

I am you adjunct professor, a multiple graduate of the the course....also a master debator and cunning linguist. I can also translate woman into English. The actual Professor-Tom Leykis-can be caught on-air at 97.1 KLSX in LA, and on many affiliated stations throughout the country, thursdays from 3-7pm Pacific....All other days, he does his regular call-in show 3-8pm. Leykis 101 is only on thursdays.

This is the OT thread where OT gets together to talk about the issues YOU....rrrrreally care about...we're a different type of OT thread...we're the OT thread that is NOT hosted by a right wing whacko, or a convicted felon, NO!....I am your host...write down our toll-free URL, you're gonna need it, it's www.nasioc.com...or www.impreza.net...

So I've been thinking about this for a long time, and rather than spread the tennets of Leykis 101 on dozens of threads, I thought about starting the thread. So I finally have done did it....

Here goes guys, the basic rules of Leykis 101, and then you can reply with questions, comments, or more importantly, reports from the field. Remember folks, this is a course designed to get more tail for less money...more importantly to teach women how men think.....
If you want to bang away...avoid relationships and connection, this is the place to be.....
Anyway...here goes everything...

Leykis 101 basic rules:


NO dating single mothers!

3-Date Rule; If she doesn't put out by the third date, DTB!

Spend no more that $40 a date, or $120 total for the first three dates.

NO lunch dates!

NO returning calls to her on weekends.

ALWAYS use a condom, and keep a bottle of your favorite hot sauce nearby.

Explainations:

No dating single mothers....that's almost a given. We don't want to inherit someone else's kids, or problems with their kids. We want a woman that is likely to agree to an aborting should there be conception in the course of dating. Single mothers tend to want to keep their babies. We don't want this, and thus must not date single mothers.

The 3-date and $40 a date rule is purely economical, I mean the point of this course is to spend less money. Also, chances are great that the chick you're with has put out in 3 dates or less with some other poor schlum, so why should she hold out for you? Why should you take second best to some other poor bastard who got some from her within the first few dates? Don't forget the reason you went out with her in the first place.

No lunch dates? Why? Why go to a lunch date, when you know for a fact you're not getting laid.

No returning calls on weekends. That time is your time. your time to spend with your buddies. Unless you're at least 90% sure it's a booty call, then there's no reason to. you don't want her to think you've got nothing better to do that wait for her to call either. Unless you've set up something on the weekdays M-Th, then spend the weekend with your buddies.

Always use a condom....no brainer here guys. The hot sauce.... Keep it close to where you keep the condoms and/or your bed, but out of sight. After you're done, pour some in the used condom, but do not be seen doing this. Reason being? There's a lot of sneaky chicks out there just looking to spurt a little of your seed in them to snag you into child support payments. So when she says..'oh I gotta go to the bathroom' and you hear her scream bloody murder a few moments later, you'll know why.

That's about it for now guys....fire away....

GF!
Skippy

[mlambert]

Good starter post!

Need more of the rules, the ones you mentioned are the ones that I remember.

[theJrod]

Excellent!

I would like to clarify one point though: "NO dating single mothers".

I would assume that just screwing a single mom is OK (not dating)...?

[mordy_2v]

Never offer to help do anything, like moving or crap like that. You don't want to be the servant in the relationship.

[Habu]

There aren't many more...most of it is how to abide by the basic ones. However..her'e's a couple more...

To avoid spending more money on dinner, eat before you go out with her. That way, at the restaurant, you can just order a salad, and/or soup or something, which is cheap. Most chicks would die before eating more than you on the first few dates. So you order a salad, she orders one, cheap meal. So she might be hungry afterwards? Maybe....you didn't go out with her to fulfill her nutritional needs. Well no the ones that reuire food anyway But at least you'll be squared away, having eaten beforehand.

Also, the goal is to find the hottest chick with lowest self-esteem. This will also reduce your cost.

I'll dispense with the GF's for this thread, I have a feeling I'm gonna be replying every 5 mins....

[RokketRide]

Originally posted by theJrod
I would like to clarify one point though: "NO dating single mothers".

I would assume that just screwing a single mom is OK (not dating)...?

For the purposes of this course:

Dating = Laying

That is the whole point right?

And to answer your question. NO screwing a SM is baaaad. Accidents do happen and she will end up keeping the kid (that you will pay for)

[Habu]

Originally posted by theJrod
Excellent!

I would like to clarify one point though: "NO dating single mothers".

I would assume that just screwing a single mom is OK (not dating)...?

NOPE! Dating=porking, banging, screwing, schtooping

Dating is not a relationship

[Habu]

Originally posted by mordy_2v
Never offer to help do anything, like moving or crap like that. You don't want to be the servant in the relationship.

Good good...yes that's another rule...
But just to clarify, like Rokket said...this isn't about relationships...it's about poon, tail, trim.

[raj100]

Originally posted by Habu

Also, the goal is to find the hottest chick with lowest self-esteem. This will also reduce your cost.

Yes... where do you find them? I mean, I can break them down, but that takes time. Where do you go to find pre-broken ones?

[2Point5RS]

Originally posted by Habu
Always use a condom....no brainer here guys. The hot sauce.... Keep it close to where you keep the condoms and/or your bed, but out of sight. After you're done, pour some in the used condom, but do not be seen doing this. Reason being? There's a lot of sneaky chicks out there just looking to spurt a little of your seed in them to snag you into child support payments. So when she says..'oh I gotta go to the bathroom' and you hear her scream bloody murder a few moments later, you'll know why.

Wouldn't this still leave you with a kid?

Laughing.. but still having a kid..

[Habu]

Finding hot chicks with low self-esteem....colleges! And I mean the freshmen type chicks, just out of high school, just turned 18 and such.
Video shoots....American Idol auditions....industry conventions....seminars....

No, the hot sauce will kill the sperm, plus it only takes one touch to burn, so it's doubful that she'll get enough in to get pregnant anyway. This was actually tested out in the field. It was documented on the Leykis show. One guy did it, the chick tried to insert some splooge, and she got burned...bad.... So bad she sued. She lost.
Besides, what nasty ass chick would put rust colored splooge into her poon? Sure if the chick saw rust colored splooge in your condom she'd think you had something wrong with your ewuipment. But the point is to throw the condom away in the trash. She's not supposed to see it. So if she does, there's only one reason....she was looking for it.

[The real boxman]

Must be a vinegar based hot sauce like Tabasco sauce...vinegar kills swimmers.

[Habu]

Right, in fact Tabasco is the sauce of choice. I would suggest carrying around one of the those mini-bottles just in case

[RokketRide]

Get that Green Tobasco.

Probably less noticable than the red

[Habu]

Yeah, guess you're right...

Hmmm only the guys are replying, I thought for sure this would incense the broads of this forum....

[Habu]

bizzump for the night crew....

[Habu]

Man, I hope some of you listened to the official show today, Tom totally OWN3D some dumb broad that was 21 years old, married and with a kid. She called to complain about her husband only hainvg sex with her about once a month, and that he'd lost interest in her. Well first of all, she's 21 and he's 23. WTH are they doing getting married. They are too young an immature to do so, since they already have a kid. The husband was a total meeeeow, and would get up in the morning to watch pr0n rather than bang her. Tom tried to get him on the phone, but the was too much of a poony to even do that. By the time Tom had said his piece this biotch had nothing to say, she was cornered, so she reorted to the only thing she had left, name calling...started calling him an arsehole, etc....until Tom finaly had it and told her, well you deserve what you get, you must've plumped up after having a kid and getting married, so it's no wonder her hunsband is up watching pr0n and beatnig off in the morning rather than having to look at and touch her! Oh it was classic.....

GF!
Skippy

[nhluhr]

can you listen to Tom Lykis on the intarweb anywhere? like shoutcast or something?

-nick

[nhluhr]

and also the following rules are considered fairly standard for guys wanting more for less:

Yeah, pretty much.... Im following these rules from now on:

#1) A women knows if she's going to sleep with you or date you within 5 minutes of meeting you. If you look awestruck to her, she's going to want to be friends. She's also going to know if she wants to be with you solely based on how you treat her in the first 1/2 hour. If you throw yourself at her, act all nice and kind and do everything she wants done, she knows that you're a sap who gets attached too easily, and she doesn't want that. No girl wants a guy who is obsessed. If you want the girl, tell her within 5 minutes of meeting her that she's cute and ask her if she's married. Do not play the friends game with any girl you like, because that is how she will treat you from the first 5 minutes you know her until the day you die. Friends never turn into lovers, and the ones that rarely do don't work out.

#2) Flirt. Be a guy. Don't be a gentleman. Don't be pushy or obsessive. Spend a few minutes with her, and then cut the conversation off when YOU are done. Don't let her leave first. Make it a point to stop talking to her when you see another pretty girl walk by or nearby. If she sees that you're interested in others, she'll work all the harder to get you interested in her. The #1 reason pretty girls ever looked twice at me was always because I had a pretty girl on my arm. Guys with girlfriends or wives are 500 times more attractive than single guys.

#3) Don't act single. Don't act hitched. Don't act married. If she asks you if you're seeing someone, you got her hooked! If she doesn't ask you that, then you lost already bud. NEVER ask a girl if she has a boyfriend, because then she knows you're looking, and it makes you look desperate. Why should you care if she has a boyfriend anyway? If she likes you more, she'll leave him anyway. If she does ask you, tell her that you're not involved in anything serious. This makes her think you may have a few girls on the side, and that intrigues her all the more so.

#4) STOP BEING A GENTLEMAN. Opening doors for women and stuff is TOTALLY corny. Every girl says she wants that stuff, and in the end, all it means when a guy does that stuff is that he's obsessive.

#5) Always always always look at other pretty girls when you are in that company. That way, if you end up dating or married, she knows you're a looker. If you purposely avoid looking at pretty girls, and you end up married, I guarantee you will never look at pretty girls again. Women who don't want their men checking out other chics are demented, and deserve to be single.

#6) Never commit to anything in the beginning. If she wants to hang out, say "Maybe, why don't you call me?" and follow it up later with a "Yeah, I think I'd like to hang out with you." Don't be pushy, and if she doesn't ask, then you've lost.

#7) Stop being a loser. Stop stalking. Stop obsessing. There are so many gorgeous gals, there's no reason that even the fattest pimpliest geekiest video game player loser amongst you guys can't nail an average of 2 to 3 chics a week and then forget them. Be a dog. Get in there, you will get NOWHERE if you are some shy sap! your self esteem goes up, and more chics want you .

#8) Consider yourself a winner. Walk, talk, and act with real self esteem. Know you're the best, know you're always right. Don't get hung up on any one girl. Never say I love you. Not until she's got that prenup signed. Protect your ass every step of the way. Dude, keep hope! I'm telling you, forget everything you know about women, and follow those damn rules. choose 3 random girls that you will most likey never see again, go up to them, start talking to them, and FOLLOW the rules. 2/3's will give you their #.

[Habu]

Wow, good rules! Where'd you find them? They're pretty much right on.

And I was looking to listen to Leykis online, but the KLSX website doesn't have a listen live option...

[Damien]

Certain things ya wanna watch out for.. Never bring a girl back to your house.... The moment she is in your place, she is looking for or Leaving clues about territory.. Tampon casings, Toothbrush, hair.. Make her bring you back to her place.. or go to a Hotel.. I cannot stress that enough.. A Mans home is his Castle... and if you flush your used rubbers, it won't clog up Your toilet.

-Damien

[STiStyle]

i posted this in another thread and they told me to post it here too...just goes to show women will try and sucker you into things even if you were 200 miles away at the time!!!

i was seein this girl about a month ago (for mabye 3 weeks)...she got pulled over goin to NH doin 95 in a 65...and it was in a construction zone!!! $745!! when she told me i couldnt help but laugh at her...then she asked me to help her pay it..i told her no and DTB a week later

[raj100]

this thread kicks ass... so pretty much you need to treat chicks like all you want to do is get laid.

[Habu]

Well that is all you want to do. What other reason is there to date women? We don't date them to get into stimulating conversation, or find out what their mind is like, what makes them tick...blah blah blah...

We do it to get laid, period. All that other stuff come about after we've seen them naked. After that, if they're cool and we still wanna hang out with them, then we might listen to what they have to say. But this thread isn't about relationships, it's about getting poon, trail, trim...

GF!
Skippy

[Habu]

Oh and btw....

so that chick that asked to help pay her ticket. Why did she do that? Was she coming to see you at the time?