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Old 01-19-2004, 03:48 PM   #1
AC Lerok
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Question Completely hypothetical online dating question that has nothing to do with me.

my FRIEND was browsing an online personals site and saw some girls that i, i mean he, thought were cute and their profiles "read" like they were cool chicks.

let's say my friend were to put an ad up and respond . . . how do you break the ice? what's appropriate?

i, i mean my friend, has a habit of being verbose and he's afraid that he might seem either a)neurotic or b)addicted to methamphetamines.

"hi, saw your online personal ad . . . i have one too! let's be dorky together."

and before i, i mean my friend, gets flamed too harshly, i know that some of your favorite OTers have explored this avenue to varying degrees of success. so before you hate, educate. or something. don't ask me to rhyme, i'm white.
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Old 01-19-2004, 03:49 PM   #2
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best laugh I've had today....I mean best laugh my friend has had today.

...I have no advice
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Old 01-19-2004, 03:52 PM   #3
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It's not really nerdy to have an online profile anymore... well I guess it depends on your circle of friends, but it seems to be the "norm" now among single friends.

Anyway, no advice to give ya... I mean... your friend, but be careful who you subscribe to. Certain places will sorta "seed" their database with attractive people who don't exist just to get you to subscribe, or when you get a free account they'll setup people that you can only contact if you subscribe, then those people will disappear once you start sending in money!

Some shady dealings out there in the online matchmaking services...
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Old 01-19-2004, 03:53 PM   #4
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Quote:
"hi, saw your online personal ad . . . i have one too! let's be dorky together."
Actually that's not bad. Humor is a good thing. Just write that and ask if she wants to do anything. I have no experience with online dating, but I think it's worth a shot.
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Old 01-19-2004, 03:58 PM   #5
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Depends on the type of chick you're trying to get. I was pretty straight forward with my profile, and I like to think I did pretty well. The interesting thing to note though is that my wife came to me, I didn't seek her out....
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Old 01-19-2004, 03:59 PM   #6
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just reply with reasons why you were attracted to her ad. Add any relevant experiences. Invite her to view your profile and ask her to write you back if she is interested. This is pretty much de rigueur in online dating.
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Old 01-19-2004, 04:02 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by Idjiit
Depends on the type of chick you're trying to get. I was pretty straight forward with my profile, and I like to think I did pretty well. The interesting thing to note though is that my wife came to me, I didn't seek her out....
come to butthead.
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Old 01-19-2004, 04:10 PM   #8
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I just meant that I'm not necessarily a good person to talk to. I mean, I went out on a few dates with women that I persued, so I guess I knew what I was doing to a certain extent... But in the end, I ending up with a person who's profile I never even looked at before she contacted me. If you're new to that scene, you'll realize at some point that that practically never happens. Men persue, women sift through endless e-mails and pick the ones that spark an interest.

If you're going to do it, I suggest that you forget any pre-conceptions you have about it and just "work it".
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Old 01-19-2004, 04:15 PM   #9
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so my friend should go with the "contact any who catch your eye" approach and figure on a low success rate?

wait . . . so many people put in their profile "tired of the bar scene" . . . this is no different! it's worse, actually! at least at the bar i, i mean my friend, could get a drink.

i swear to christ, my friend is gonna join the clergy. this dating thing is for the birds.
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Old 01-19-2004, 04:18 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by AC Lerok
so my friend should go with the "contact any who catch your eye" approach and figure on a low success rate?
Pretty much, yeah. The only consolation is that (in theory) the people who respond feel you're a better match than the others who contacted them. In the bar scene, you think a chick looks cute and then you waste a bunch of money and each other's time to figure out that she's never even heard of the Pixies.
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Old 01-19-2004, 04:19 PM   #11
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And of course, your success rate is inevitably going to be tied to the way you present yourself. Interpret that however you like, but you better have a cute photo and a compelling bio or else you're going to end up in the "Trash" bin.
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Old 01-19-2004, 04:21 PM   #12
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My old roommate met his wife via on-line dating. Went through only three women. The first two eventually turned weird. Not psycho, just a little odd. But that's to be expected. Happens whenever you date people you don't know that well ahead of time.

However, he corresponded with a larger number of women. Be prepared to spend a while just emailing back and forth. Don't suggest a meeting right off the bat. Most are willing to at least talk to you for a while, to find out if there's any common interest. If not, no sweat.

As stated, there are some fakes out there(and I'm not just talking about pictures). The biggest problem my friend had(and this was 2+ years ago, so maybe it's not as bad now), on Yahoo Personals and Match.com, some of the ladies he'd correspond with would turn out to be phone sex or webcam girls. They'd start asking for credit card information and such. If it happens, just move on. Report them to the service so their account is deleted, so no one else gets burned, and then move on.

If you go in with a casual interest, you'll be fine. Just realize that many of the women are in the same boat as you. They've been burned by the opposite sex(hopefully...if they tell you they were burned by other women...you're more of a man than I am) and are now switching to a broader avenue to meet people. Just be careful that the two of you don't sit around crabbing about your ex's. It's easy for that to happen.
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Old 01-19-2004, 04:24 PM   #13
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also go in it with no expectations. I have used americansingles.com for about a year and i have seen just about every possible senario. I would talk to a chick for about a week or so, depending who comfortable I was with her before I asked to meet her. But there were also times when the chicks wanted to meet after two or three days of talking.

I have been on dates and we would continue to see each other for weeks or even months. Then there are others were you have chatted with and talked on the phone with but when you get face to face you just dont click, and you just become friends or never talk to them at all.

I have met about 20 or so chicks on it, its very easy to do especially if your nervous around chicks your interested in like myself. Also I was working two jobs for awhile and I didnt have much time to go out and look for chicks, so i would just surf for them at work.

To this day I have known about two for almost a year that I would consider my best friend but there was no spark. I have met about four or five that were just interest in hooking up, be very wary of this because you never know about past partners.

Just go into it with an open mind, most of the people on those sites are open-minded too.

best of luck

jeremy
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Old 01-19-2004, 04:25 PM   #14
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don't worry, i'm, i mean my friend is, hottt. thing is, ladies these days seem to like skinny emo dudes, and my friend looks like an NFL linebacker . . . not fat, just vaguely intimidating in a 6'3'', 235 pound kind of way.
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Old 01-19-2004, 04:29 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by AC Lerok
wait . . . so many people put in their profile "tired of the bar scene" . . . this is no different! it's worse, actually! at least at the bar i, i mean my friend, could get a drink.
I'm guessing that just means they're tired of trying to hook up or meet people at the bar scene, not that they're opposed to going out for drinks. But if you get hooked up and never get to go to a bar again, it's not my fault.
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Old 01-19-2004, 04:36 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by AC Lerok
don't worry, i'm, i mean my friend is, hottt. thing is, ladies these days seem to like skinny emo dudes, and my friend looks like an NFL linebacker . . . not fat, just vaguely intimidating in a 6'3'', 235 pound kind of way.
Sounds like he needs to work the ever-slimming "looking up into the camera" angle.
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Old 01-19-2004, 04:37 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally posted by AC Lerok
don't worry, i'm, i mean my friend is, hottt. thing is, ladies these days seem to like skinny emo dudes, and my friend looks like an NFL linebacker . . . not fat, just vaguely intimidating in a 6'3'', 235 pound kind of way.
Not all ladies like teh skinny emo d00ds. That's the kind of build that I like and if I were single the type I'd go after. Just FYI that there are some wimmenz out there that like that.

Most importantly, just be yourself.
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Old 01-19-2004, 04:39 PM   #18
AC Lerok
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Quote:
Originally posted by Idjiit
Sounds like he needs to work the ever-slimming "looking up into the camera" angle.
he ain't gotta slim NOTHING! he likes the way he looks, if the ladies don't then they can go date sk8rboiz who i, i mean my friend, could eat for breakfast.

*jots down "looking up at the camera"*

thanks for the tip.
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Old 01-19-2004, 04:40 PM   #19
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Have Idjiit come and take hot and sexy, black and white, self-sufficient, not-a-sell-out rocker pix of you.

Then you're in like Flynn.

Just make sure she's 18.
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Old 01-19-2004, 04:46 PM   #20
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For everyone's amusement, here's the photo that landed me my wonderful wife...

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Old 01-19-2004, 04:47 PM   #21
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It's all about the Soul Patch. Or Flavor Saver. Whatever you want to call it.
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Old 01-19-2004, 04:52 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by Charge
It's all about the Soul Patch. Or Flavor Saver. Whatever you want to call it.
It's actually one of the check boxes in the "must have" section at MatchMaker.com.
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Old 01-19-2004, 05:00 PM   #23
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Put a sportbike in your picture...trust me on this one.
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Old 01-19-2004, 05:31 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by AC Lerok
don't worry, i'm, i mean my friend is, hottt. thing is, ladies these days seem to like skinny emo dudes, and my friend looks like an NFL linebacker . . . not fat, just vaguely intimidating in a 6'3'', 235 pound kind of way.

mr AClerok, omghi2u! if i wasn't already almost married, you would be mine. however, i believe that i might be yuppie scum and you would tire of me wondering why i can't lose weight when i'm on a bagelwithcreamcheese and coffee diet. i've been watching you, in a not so sexymamma kinda way... you are quite the witty one.
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Old 01-19-2004, 05:41 PM   #25
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Just say something like "Hey, I saw your profile and I'm letting you know I'm interested. Check mine out and email me back, blah blah" or something like that.

Worked for me. I met my current gf on match.com
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