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Old 03-05-2004, 10:38 AM   #1
Mud Pig
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Default You made an @ss out of yourself on the first date. Will there be a second one?

Here's my situation kids. I met this girl about three weeks ago at a bar. We talked on the phone four times and setup a lunch date. We had lunch and I pretty much made an @ss out of myself. I was under a lot of stress from work and it came across as me being negative.

By the way I know all this info because I back channeled a mutual friend of ours.

So I issued damage repair teams when I talked to her on Tuesday. Basically explaining why I acted that way and proceeding to show her on the phoine no less that I'm generally a laid back happy person.

Confirmed that everything went well with the mutual friendthe next day.

What do you guys think are my chances with this girl now? They always say first impressions last the longest. Am I screwed or does my damage control count for soemthing?
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Old 03-05-2004, 10:39 AM   #2
JGard
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If you felt you had to explain yourself, then you did...well, I just think back to the phone scene in "Swingers"
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Old 03-05-2004, 10:40 AM   #3
bobturismo
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es and slappin the hoes.

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just play it like you have nothin ta lose
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Old 03-05-2004, 10:40 AM   #4
gongzero
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down with pants!

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Well, if it'd been me, I'd be ok, because I'm so adorable when I'm negative.

Are you an equally adorable Negative Nancy?
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Old 03-05-2004, 10:41 AM   #5
CandyO
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FTW!!!

Default

Quote:
Originally posted by JGard
If you felt you had to explain yourself, then you did...well, I just think back to the phone scene in "Swingers"
Classic scene!
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Old 03-05-2004, 10:43 AM   #6
Idjiit
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Don't worry about it. I was kind of weird on the first date with my wife. More uptight than I usually am (ouch!), it was really the first date I ever went on that I was nervous about. Came across as pretty arrogant (who, me?), etc. But she saw through all that and was in love by the third date.
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Old 03-05-2004, 10:43 AM   #7
SubEd
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I was kinda weird on my first date with your wife.
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Old 03-05-2004, 10:45 AM   #8
Gcbinc
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But I'm over
here now.

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Your chances? 6-5 and pick em.

All the girls I know (both of em, including my mom) are real big on first impressions.
You screwed that up: -5. But you have the back channel as well as some of those MIB-type cleanup crews, so you may be able to salvage this...for now: +5

So you are back to 0.

IF your cleanup crews do their job and you happen to get a relationship going, if (when) you breakup/stop seeing each other, you will hear the 'I shoulda known, since you were such a n00b on the first date!'

So you got that goin for you, which is nice.

Good luck.

GeoB
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Old 03-05-2004, 10:45 AM   #9
JGard
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Quote:
Originally posted by CandyO
Classic scene!
not classic. More like painful...kinda like fingernails screeching across a blackboard for 5 minutes.
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Old 03-05-2004, 10:48 AM   #10
Mud Pig
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Well I'm trying to go with the flow on this one and keep things casual with her. Hopefully things will just be cool if nothing else.
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Old 03-05-2004, 10:52 AM   #11
Neek
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Default

CUT TO:

52 INT. MIKE'S APARTMENT - LATER THAT NIGHT

Mike opens the door and flicks on the lights in his sparsely furnished single.

He drops his keys on the table and makes a bee line to the
answering machine.

He pushes the button.

ANSWERING MACHINE
(synthesized voice)
She didn't call.

Mike collapses into his futon and lights a smoke.

Beat.

He pulls out the COCKTAIL NAPKIN. He stares at the number.

He looks at the clock. 2:20 AM.

He looks at the napkin.

He thinks better of it, and puts the napkin away.

Beat.

He takes out the napkin and picks up the phone.

ANSWERING MACHINE
(synthesized voice)
Don't do it, Mike.

MIKE
Shut up.

He dials.

It rings twice, then...

NIKKI
(recorded)
Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
(beep)

MIKE
Hi, Nikki. This is Mike. I met you
tonight at the Dresden. I, uh, just
called to say I, uh, I'm really glad we
met and you should give me a call. So
call me tomorrow, or , like, in two days,
whatever. My number is 213-555-4679...
(beep)

Mike hangs up.

Beat.

He dials again.

NIKKI
(recorded)
Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
(beep)

MIKE
Hi, Nikki. This is Mike, again. I just
called because it sounded like your
machine might've cut me off before I gave
you my number, and also to say sorry for
calling so late, but you were still there
when I left the Dresden, so I knew I'd
get your machine. Anyway, my number
is...
(beep)

Mike calls back right away.

NIKKI
(recorded)
Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
(beep)

MIKE
213-555-4679. That's all. I just wanted
to leave my number. I don't want you to
think I'm weird, or desperate or
something...
(he regrets saying it
immediately)
... I mean, you know, we should just
hang out. That's it. No expectations.
Just, you know, hang out. Bye.
(beep)

He hangs up.

Beat.

He dials.

NIKKI
(recorded)
Hi. This is Nikki. Leaves a message.
(beep)

MIKE
I just got out of a six-year
relationship. Okay? That should help to
explain why I'm acting so weird. It's
not you. It's me. I just wanted to say
that. Sorry.
(pause)
This is Mike.
(beep)

He dials again. There's no turning back.

NIKKI
(recorded)
Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
(beep)

MIKE
Hi, Nikki. This is Mike again. Could you
just call me when you get in? I'll be up
for awhile, and I'd just rather talk to
you in person instead of trying to
squeeze it all...
(beep)

He dials yet again.

NIKKI
(recorded)
Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
(beep)

MIKE
Hi, Nikki. Mike. I don't think this is
working out. I think you're great, but
maybe we should just take some time off
from each other. It's not you, really.
It's me. It's only been six months...

NIKKI
(Live, in person. she picks
up the line)
Mike?

MIKE
Nikki! Great! Did you just walk in, or
were you listening all along?

NIKKI
(calmly)
Don't call me ever again.

MIKE
Wow, I guess you were home...
(click)

She hung up on him.

He's frozen.

He hangs up.

Beat.

He pulls the comforter off the futon and curls up in the
corner of the room.
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Old 03-05-2004, 11:01 AM   #12
Mud Pig
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Default

Well the sad thing is i have done the calling too early and too often mistake with another girl. I waited four days to call this one so I think I'm alright on that end. Hopefully she's cool enough to give a moron a break.
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Old 03-05-2004, 11:04 AM   #13
PhatMatt
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"You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws and with fangs ... and she's just like this little bunny, who's just kinda cowering in the corner ... you know, you got these claws and you're staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself, and with these claws you're thinking, 'How am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?' And you're poking at it, you're poking at it ... you're not hurting it. You're just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? And the bunny's scared, Mike, the bunny's scared of you, shivering. And you got these (bleeping) claws and these fangs, man! And you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your fangs. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what to do, man. 'I don't know how to kill the bunny.'"

--another Swingers quote..though just a little abstract
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Old 03-05-2004, 11:07 AM   #14
IggDawg
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Quote:
Originally posted by SubEd
I was kinda weird on my first date with your wife.
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Old 03-05-2004, 11:11 AM   #15
rogue
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There's only one way to fix it...

You'll have to go IDP on your second date. That'll teach her!

Also: dude, you gotta flip out sometimes... that's what keeps the girls guessing! They don't like a boring laid-back guy, they want someone who's unpredictable. Then they can try to FIX you!

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Old 03-05-2004, 11:12 AM   #16
IggDawg
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Quote:
Originally posted by rogue

Also: dude, you gotta flip out sometimes... that's what keeps the girls guessing! They don't like a boring laid-back guy, they want someone who's unpredictable. Then they can try to FIX you!

threats of physical harm go a long way towards winning a girl's affection. It's a fact.

:nod:

-IggDawg
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Old 03-05-2004, 11:15 AM   #17
rogue
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Quote:
Originally posted by IggDawg
threats of physical harm go a long way towards winning a girl's affection. It's a fact.

:nod:

-IggDawg
I'd be concerned, but I think Prity can (and regularly does) kick your butt.

-Princess is cool
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Old 03-05-2004, 11:20 AM   #18
BigI
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Default

first impressions do make a lasting impression, and although I'd like to pose an argument that there are exceptions, those exceptions are few and far between. As it is now dude I think you should just play it like you have nothing to lose. You really don't, technically you already screwed up so whats the big deal right. If she decides your explanatory second shot at it merits tossing out the negative first impression then great but if not oh well dude
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Old 03-05-2004, 02:38 PM   #19
Jessie James
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Default

Wanna know how you can tell? Wait 7 days before you call her back and THEN ask for another date. Ten minutes on the phone, max. If she says yes, you're good. If she actually shows up, even better. If she pays her way, you're gold.

But, if she just shows up and expects you to pay the whole way, she's just using you to pass the time because she probably has nothing better to do, as her boyfriend is out of town.

And STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS. Tell her that you just had a brain upgrade and it was a little loose. Or something. Or that the "voices" were coming back (jokingly, of course) or anything but being serious!

Who the hell wants to hang out with "Mr. Emotional I had a bad day guy?"
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Old 03-05-2004, 02:57 PM   #20
imprezive
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Default

Quote:
Originally posted by bobturismo
just play it like you have nothin ta lose
w3rd

rejection is your friend........mine too
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Old 03-05-2004, 03:02 PM   #21
Thug
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Default

ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass. Now was that filtered?
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Old 03-05-2004, 03:05 PM   #22
imprezive
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Default

I guess that is a rhetorical question.
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Old 03-05-2004, 03:24 PM   #23
Dr. WOT
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Default

first mistake: lunch date
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Old 03-05-2004, 03:25 PM   #24
Mud Pig
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Default

Quote:
Originally posted by RS25.com
Wanna know how you can tell? Wait 7 days before you call her back and THEN ask for another date. Ten minutes on the phone, max. If she says yes, you're good. If she actually shows up, even better. If she pays her way, you're gold.

But, if she just shows up and expects you to pay the whole way, she's just using you to pass the time because she probably has nothing better to do, as her boyfriend is out of town.

And STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS. Tell her that you just had a brain upgrade and it was a little loose. Or something. Or that the "voices" were coming back (jokingly, of course) or anything but being serious!

Who the hell wants to hang out with "Mr. Emotional I had a bad day guy?"
Well when I talked to her about how I was acting I kept everyhting light and fluffy, but I'll definitley take your advice on the Mr. emotional act. I was kind of nuts there for a little while being insanely stressed out by work. I mean I didn't even want to hang out with myself.

I'll let you guys know what happens.
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Old 03-16-2004, 01:33 PM   #25
ColinL
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Default

Quote:
Originally posted by Dr. WOT
first mistake: lunch date
agreed. in my experience this is usually a sign that they're not that interested and are just feeling you out for the heck of it.

I'd rather the first date had more opportunity to spend more time if you want. lunch dates usually seem hurried and impersonal. bleh.
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