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Old 08-03-2000, 10:18 AM   #1
Catfish
Scooby Newbie
 
Member#: 1322
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Silicon Valley
Vehicle:
2000 2.5RS Sedan
72 Datsun 240Z

Talking OT: Thursday humor

Heard this on the radio today.

Q: What do Politicians and Diapers have in common?

A: They both need to be changed regularly, and for the same reasons.

Anyone else find the Republican endorsement by "The Rock" a little weird? Who are they going to bring out next?

Dave
'00 2.5RS Sedan
'72 Datsun 240Z
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Old 08-03-2000, 10:27 AM   #2
SubieFL
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Member#: 1622
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Orange City, FL, US
Vehicle:
2000 Impreza 2.5 RS
Silver

Post

IMHO, I am tired of all of these stupid wrestlers getting all of this recognition. I don't like wrestling and think it is pretty corny that they talk for politicians, become politicians, or even star in movies. Anyone agree(or disagree)? This si not meant to start a war. I am only venting my rage for wrestling.
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Old 08-03-2000, 10:30 AM   #3
SilverSuby
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Member#: 1599
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Pittsburgh, PA, USA
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2000 Impreza RS
Silver

Post

"Stuffed Animals"

A guy met a girl at a nightclub, and she invited him back to her place for the night.

When they arrived at her house, they went right into her bedroom. The guy saw that the room was filled with stuffed animals. There were hundreds of them all over the place. Giant stuffed animals were on top of the wardrobe. Large stuffed animals were on the bookshelf and on the window sill, and a lot of smaller stuffed animals were on the bottom shelf.

Much later, after they had sex, he turned to her and asked, "So ... how was I?"

"Well," she said, "You can take anything from the bottom shelf."

[EDIT] Personally, I agree with you SubieFL.

[This message has been edited by SilverSuby (edited August 03, 2000).]
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Old 08-03-2000, 10:52 AM   #4
Matt Monson
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Member#: 832
Join Date: Jan 2000
Chapter/Region: RMIC
Location: Teh Ghetto Garage, CO
Vehicle:
99 2.5RS, '85 911
'73 914 and 2012 BRZ

Post

Speaking of animals and sex...

3 dogs are sitting in the waiting room
of a vets office. One is a poodle, one is a schnauzer and the other is a Great Dane.

The poodle turns to the schnauzer and asks "why are you here?" The schnauzer responds, "I'm 17 years old. I don't see or hear very well. I've been having accidents in the house. My owner says I'm too old and sick so he brought me here to be put to sleep.

The schnauzer asks the poodle "why are you here?" The poodle responds, "I've not been myself lately. I've been especially high strung. I've been barking all the time, I've been snapping at people and I even bit one of the neighbor's kids. Nobody knows why this has been happening. My owner says he can't risk me biting somebody else so he brought me here to be put to sleep.

The poodle and schnauzer ask the Great Dane why he is here. The Great Dane responds: "My owner is this beautiful runway model. Yesterday she was walking around the house naked when she suddenly bent down to pick up
something she dropped. She was bent over and naked when nature took over and the next thing I know I'm on top of her doing the doggie thing. I couldn't help myself. "

The poodle asks: "so your owner brought you here to be put to sleep?"

The Great Dane says: "No, I'm just here to get my nails trimmed.
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Old 08-03-2000, 11:30 AM   #5
Rally Man
Scooby Newbie
 
Member#: 1181
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Moreno Valley, California
Post

Subject: Importance of correct email addresses

Make sure you always check people's proper email address before you send them anything!!!

It seems there was this couple from Minneapolis, Minnesota who decided to go to Florida for a few days to thaw out. Since both
spouses worked, they had difficulty coordinating their schedules, so
the decision was made to have the husband leave for Florida on a
certain day, with the wife following him one day later.

The man made it down to Florida and arrived at his hotel. Upon
getting to his room, he decided to open his laptop and send his
wife back in Minneapolis an email. However, he left off one letter in
typing his wife's email address and sent the email off without
realizing his error.

In another part of the country, a widow had just returned from the
funeral of her husband, a Lutheran pastor of many years who had been called to glory just a few days earlier. She decided to check her
email because she was expecting to hear from her husband's relatives and friends.

Upon reading the first email, she let out a loud scream, fainted
and fell to the floor. The woman's son rushed into the room and found
his mother on the floor. He glanced up at the computer screen and saw
the following email message:

To My Loving Wife:
I've just been checked in. Everything has been prepared for your
arrival here tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then.
Your Devoted Husband.
P.S. Sure is hot down here
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Old 08-03-2000, 11:35 AM   #6
MstrDC
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Member#: 366
Join Date: Oct 1999
Chapter/Region: South East
Location: Florida
Vehicle:
2013 Subaru WRX
DGM

Post

One day a husband was chiding his beautiful blonde wife
about leaving her keys in the ignition of her car.

"If I take them out of the car I lose them," she reasoned.

"Yes dear, but what if someone steals your car?" the
husband countered.

"Oh that's okay," the wife chirped happily, "I keep a
spare key in the glove box!"

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Old 08-04-2000, 12:29 AM   #7
98Gal
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Join Date: Jun 2000
Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: Cleveland, Oh
Vehicle:
1998 Impreza 2.5rs
Black - SOLD

Post

BwwwwaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I love these Thursday humor posts.

and Nick ... lol if i saw that , i'd fall out of my chair for sure.

still laughing,

Sara
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Old 08-04-2000, 12:44 AM   #8
Jewbaru
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Member#: 1994
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: "Teh Hebro Town"
Vehicle:
2013 Impreza WRX
WRB

Talking

*********WARNING DIRTY JOKE**********

I'm sorry, this is a fav of mine, oldie but goodie.
Superman

One night Superman is sitting at home, bored out of his mind. Louis Lane is out of town, and he doesn't have anyone to play with. Then it hits him, "Hey, I'll give Spiderman a call, see what he's up to."

So he calls up Spidey and asks what's up for the night. Spiderman replys "Nothing tonight man, I gotta go fight crime all night."
"Damn crime, alright I'll catch you later," Superman replied, and hung up the phone.

Then he decided to give Batman a hollar, "he's the 'Dark Knight', or whatever, he's gotta want to go out tonight."
So he picks up and dials.
"Hey Batman, what's up tonight, wanna go party?"
"Nah, me and Robin are gonna wash and wax the Batmobile, maybe another time."
"Damn, alright, later."

Superman was running out of options, then it hit him. "WONDERWOMAN!! She's a freak, she'll want to do something tonight."
So he picks up and dials, no answer.
"Oh hell, I'll fly around and see if I can find her."

He heads out, and starts flying around town. He eventually spots her, on top of a building... naked.

"Damn, wonder what she's doing. Hmm.. I wonder if I could use my Superspeed to go down there and get some before she notices... yeaaa, I'm gonna do that."

So uses his super speed, flys down there, has his fun, then flys away.

On the roof, Wonderwoman notices something.

"What was that?" She asks outloud.

"I dunno, but man, my ass is killin me." Replied the Invisible Man.
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Old 08-04-2000, 12:47 AM   #9
NickSTi
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Member#: 626
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Miami FL
Vehicle:
2001 Impreza 2.5 RS
Black Diamond Pearl

Lightbulb

Choosing A Password

I was helping someone set up his computer, and he wanted to log in with a password.... now you have to understand he's got somewhat of a rebellious attitude and goes for the shock effect... so when the computer asked him to enter his password, he keys in "penis"...
I nearly fell off the chair from laughing so hard when the computer replied:

*** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH ***
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Old 08-04-2000, 01:40 AM   #10
Mike Smith
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Member#: 744
Join Date: Jan 2000
Chapter/Region: Tri-State
Location: Middlesex, NY USA
Vehicle:
00 BRP RS Coupe
02 Forester, 00 S-10,

Cool

Two blondes get on a bus. Yhe first asks "Will this bus take me to Chicago?" The bus driver says "No". The second blonde says "Will it take me?"
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Old 08-04-2000, 01:43 AM   #11
Never2phat
Scooby Newbie
 
Member#: 1683
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Carlisle, Pa, USA
Wink

Did you hear about the polish lesbian???????










She likes men!!!!!!!!!!

short but cute(the joke that is )
B.C.
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Old 08-04-2000, 01:43 AM   #12
Spoon
Scooby Newbie
 
Member#: 1793
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Southern California
Post

what do you call a lesbian eskimo
a klondike

i know, i know its old
its all I can think of
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Old 08-04-2000, 11:06 AM   #13
Faraz
What?...
Do they speak English in What?

Moderator
 
Member#: 1459
Join Date: May 2000
Chapter/Region: Tri-State
Location: Allentown
Vehicle:
2008 WRX 5door MT
WR Blue

Talking

This is for my man driving the Jewbaru

"Two Jews walk into a Bar .......

now you have to finish the joke ..and you know who i'm talking to
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Old 08-05-2000, 12:44 AM   #14
Rally Man
Scooby Newbie
 
Member#: 1181
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Moreno Valley, California
Talking

Gender of Computers?? Is It A Male or Female

An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender
association in the English language. He stated how hurricanes at one
time were given feminine names and how ships and planes were usually
referred to as "she".

One of the students raised their hand and asked "What "gender" is a
computer"?

The teacher wasn't certain which it was, so he divided the class into
two groups, males in one, females in the other, and asked them to
decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine.

Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in
the masculine gender because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the
time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a
little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be
referred to in the feminine gender because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for
later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending
half your paycheck on accessories for it.
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