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Old 03-17-2004, 01:20 PM   #1
Mud Pig
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Default You made an @ss out of yourself on the first date. Will there be a second one? PART 2

Well Some of you remember my fabled first date I was a moron thread. Here's the original:

1st date Moron

Cliffnotes:
Met a girl at a bar. Called her four times. She asked me out to lunch on a Saturday. I was sick but still went ahead with the date. I came across negative, because I was stressed out and sick. (I know this because I'm friends with her best friend)

So I called three days later and explained why I acted the way I did and basically told her to call if she feels like talking or doing something sometime.

Here's the update:
She hasn't called for two weeks. I figure she blew me off. I played it cool like OB1 (Janq) told me too and didn't call her at all. So out of the blue this Saturday she calls. I was sleeping so I didn't pick up. So I call back at three and she says she's really busy, but she'll call back.

She calls back Sunday and we talk for about twenty minutes or so.

So is this girl interested in me or what? I'm not use to a girl waiting that long to call me back, but she has a kid so maybe that is just the way she works.
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Last edited by Mud Pig; 03-17-2004 at 01:28 PM.
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Old 03-17-2004, 01:21 PM   #2
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Play it cool is the way to go.

'Need' should never be in your vocabulary.

Sounds like there's a bit of interest in it. IBIDP.
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Old 03-17-2004, 01:22 PM   #3
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Yeah, she's interested.
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Old 03-17-2004, 01:30 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally posted by imprezton
Yeah, she's interested.
Well normally I would agree with you, but the amount of time it took her to call me back makes me wonder. At the very least she was thinking about me during some periods of that time.

Maybe she was testing to see if I was a needy or desperate little freak who would call her a bunch.
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Old 03-17-2004, 01:31 PM   #5
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She was probably listening to her friends and waiting you out, and finally gave in.

Did you explain why you were a dud on the date?
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Old 03-17-2004, 01:33 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by imprezton
She was probably listening to her friends and waiting you out, and finally gave in.

Did you explain why you were a dud on the date?
Yeah I explained that too her a couple of days after the date and threw the ball into her court by saying give me a call if you feel like talking or doing something. Then I just didn't call her.
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Old 03-17-2004, 01:41 PM   #7
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Up with skirts,
down with pants!

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Well, she's at least interested in giving you a second chance to redeem yourself. Even if you walk in missing one arm and suffering from rabies, sit your slobbering, bloodied-stump ass down at the table, give her a charming smile, and say, "it's nice to see you again! How're you? Great! Give me two minutes, I just feel the need to collapse. Be right with you."
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Old 03-17-2004, 01:43 PM   #8
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Let her plan this date.
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Old 03-17-2004, 01:44 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by KC
Play it cool is the way to go.

'Need' should never be in your vocabulary.

Sounds like there's a bit of interest in it. IBIDP.
Agreed. ^^

As a dad I can say I'm bad at calling my friends back and these are people I've known 10 or 20 years. I'm just too busy with life, and I'll bet she's the same. Its tough being a single mom and sole supporter.

The fact that she called you at all is good, real good.
In fact she returned your call twice which is even better.

This is what I'd do. In order to go out with you she has to get a babysitter and stuff which is difficult & costly. That means you have to be worth the stretch. I'd setup a fun date next time and go somewhere cool that you don't do everyday. Take her for a ride in a tandem seat instructor flown glider (cheap) or to a local carnival/circus or to the zoo (cheap if not free) or even go museum/art gallery hopping. Basically places where she isn't forced to stare back at you from the other side of a table but is going to be close to you and hand holding will be allowed, encouraged and acceptable. Getting to hold a womans hand is crucial as skin contact for them is highly erotic. If you can get yourself to hold her hand then all those bad thoughts/rememberances from the first date will be whitewashed over.

Its rare that a person gets a second chance with anything and when it comes to women its especially so. This time around let your actions speak volumes and she'll see right past the your ass from weeks ago. BTW, the above ideas all require little to no money but will be for her memorable. If these are not applicable to your area then think along the same lines. A walk through a corn maze or even a day fishing off a pier (borrow a friends gear) can be lots of fun and will open her up to talking and accepting your game.

Good luck!

- Janq
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Old 03-17-2004, 01:44 PM   #10
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She was busy doing some guy with arm tattoos for the two weeks that you didn't hear from her. Now she's tired of getting beat up so she called you back. It won't last, she find another tattooed guy soon.
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Old 03-17-2004, 01:44 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by imprezton
Yeah, she's interested.
I concur.
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Old 03-17-2004, 01:46 PM   #12
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She has a kid?

IBTurnaroundandrunasquicklyaspossible...

...andneverlookback.

Just kidding, seriously though, you shouldn't stress over it, just go with the flow--if she's busy; she's busy, thinking about you? Probably not. Oh well. Make her think about you by being super cool this time...
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Old 03-17-2004, 01:49 PM   #13
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Sounds to me like she's interested. As everyone else said, play it cool. Things will work themselves out...
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Old 03-17-2004, 01:59 PM   #14
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Her Ex takes her kid every other week so it's not like she has to go way out of her way to see me, but at the same time her free time is kind of restricted so I guess that's something.

At this point I'll call and see what's up with her and just casually ask what she's up to this weekend. But sound like it's not a big deal.

The sad thing is I don't have a great deal of experience being the cool calm type dude. I'm generally the type of guy who calls way too much.

OB1 you've taught me well.
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Old 03-17-2004, 02:23 PM   #15
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Have you considered inviting her and the kid to the zoo or something?
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Old 03-17-2004, 02:25 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by imprezton
Have you considered inviting her and the kid to the zoo or something?
I think that's more of a we've been going out for a while type date. We do talk about her kid. I made sure of that just so she knows I'm cool wth that aspect of her life.
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Old 03-17-2004, 02:27 PM   #17
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Maybe she called because she needs to find a babysitter...
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Old 03-17-2004, 02:27 PM   #18
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I'm not talking about taking the kid in and treating it like your own. You don't have to be together for six months to let her know that you like being with her even if the kid is along. Also, that expands your options for seeing each other.
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Old 03-17-2004, 02:32 PM   #19
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here I totally disagree with imprezton. keep the kid out of it initially. any smart mom would keep their children from meeting every johnnycomelately and only expose them to someone with at least some longterm potential.
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Old 03-17-2004, 02:34 PM   #20
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I don't think you guys are understanding me.

A trip to the zoo, with a male friend, is not necessarily going to be viewed by the child as "yet another dad." Yeah, don't take her and the kid to the Starlight Room, but neither should you both act like the child has leprosy.
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Old 03-17-2004, 02:37 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mud Pig
I think that's more of a we've been going out for a while type date. We do talk about her kid. I made sure of that just so she knows I'm cool wth that aspect of her life.
Make no mention of going on dates with her kid.
Its not fair to her or the kid.

Let mom introduce you to baby when she's ready.
Alos this prevents you from getting attached to a a kid and barely knowing the mom. Remember that one or two dates does not make a relationship. You guys aren't even 'dating' at this point.
Take it slow and you'll know when the right time arrives for the kid.

As for playing things cool I have a great idea for you.
Its a learning lesson and a date all in one.
Find out if your girl likes old movies (B&W). Odds are she will as all women do. Note I said women, not girls.
If she says yes then offer to have a movie-thon at your place. Popcorn, candy, soft drinks/margaritas and a few old timey movies. She'll love it! And again you get plent of opportunity for hand holding and snuggling.

Go rent 'Some Like it Hot' (romantic comedy), 'It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World' (a comedy and okay its color but its still old as hell), and the third might be Casablanca (play this last!). If you can't stomach Casablanca then substitute it for 'Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid'.

Dude you'll be in like Flint and she'll think your cool as Luke.

- Janq
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Old 03-17-2004, 02:38 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mud Pig
I played it cool like OB1 (Janq)
What in the **** are you talking about....
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Old 03-17-2004, 02:40 PM   #23
Janq
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Quote:
Originally posted by ColinL
here I totally disagree with imprezton. keep the kid out of it initially. any smart mom would keep their children from meeting every johnnycomelately and only expose them to someone with at least some longterm potential.
Exactly! ^^

The emotional dynamics for the child can be confuisng and/or disturbing. Worst if the child is use to guys coming and going then you don't want to be just another Mark, Steve or John. Wait until the time is right and appropriate.

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Old 03-17-2004, 02:45 PM   #24
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Bah! Maybe I'm just too old. My kids are 13 and 15, and I'm looking from the perspective of that age. I can back down from that suggestion.

But if she has her head screwed on straight, she WILL guage your interaction with the kid before she makes any serious emotional investment.....if she cares about the kid.
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Old 03-17-2004, 02:45 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally posted by obyone
What in the **** are you talking about....
My apologies.
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