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Old 03-24-2004, 09:36 AM   #1
Mud Pig
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Wink You made an @ss out of yourself on the first date. Will there be a second one? PART 3

Well kids the saga continues.

Here's a link to Part 2:

http://forums.nasioc.com/forums/show...hreadid=523186

Cliff Notes:
Met a girl at a bar. Called her four times. She asked me out to lunch on a Saturday. I was sick but still went ahead with the date. I came across negative, because I was stressed out over work and sick. (I know this because I'm friends with her best friend) So I called three days later and explained why I acted the way I did and basically told her to call if she feels like talking or doing something sometime.

She hasn't called for two weeks. I figure she blew me off. I played it cool like OB1 (Janq) told me too and didn't call her at all. She finally called back and we had a chill conversation.

Update:
Well we talked over a week ago the last time. After all the BS I went through with that girl at work I wasn't in the mood to start something with this girl. Last night I did a lot of thinking and decided what the hell I need to get on with my life. So I called her. We talked for a while, I got her to laugh a couple times, and I asked what she was up to this weekend. She suggested we catch a movie on Saturday. So it looks like my second chance is at hand.

She suppose to call me by Firday to confirm things.

My question to you guys is what should I do to make sure I don't fall into the black hole of the friends zone? Give me a list and I'll make sure to exercise it.
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Last edited by Mud Pig; 03-24-2004 at 09:59 AM.
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Old 03-24-2004, 09:40 AM   #2
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yeah, don't go to the movies, that's how. Do something where you two actually get to interact with each other, so you can prove that you're not as negative as you came across.

Of course, maybe she is scared that you will be negative, which is why she suggested movies?
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Old 03-24-2004, 09:42 AM   #3
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Take her to a porno. See if she'll go in. I only say that because you're totally screwed either way.

I don't know why you just don't MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE !?!?!?!????!!!
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Old 03-24-2004, 09:53 AM   #4
Mud Pig
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Well we've talked on the phone a couple of times and she understands why I acted the way I did. Like I said I got her to laugh a bunch on the phone and came across naturally. So at this point I'm just going with the flow seeing where it leads me. I figure we'll probably grab some dinner after the movie.

At this point I'm not sure if it's even a definite, but I figured I would see what's up.
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Old 03-24-2004, 09:54 AM   #5
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in that case:

in das pooper.
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Old 03-24-2004, 10:10 AM   #6
ColinL
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movies are a crappy early date, but you can salvage it by going out to dinner before or after, or back to someone's house (or someplace public... a park, maybe) afterwards so that you can interact.
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Old 03-24-2004, 10:20 AM   #7
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strap on your hiking boots, and take a walk on a trail through a local park. Pack a lunch, and a few condoms.
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Old 03-24-2004, 10:22 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by trips222
strap on your hiking boots, and take a walk on a trail through a local park. Pack a lunch, and a few condoms.
Agreed. Hikes are awesome early dates becuase you are doing something but have lots of time to talk and interact.
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Old 03-24-2004, 10:23 AM   #9
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Air hockey. Watch her bend over to hit the puck.
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Old 03-24-2004, 12:11 PM   #10
Mud Pig
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Well we'll see what happens. At this point the date isn't even set, but what should I do to avoid the friend zone.

I was thinking make sure to pay for everything at the very least.
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Old 03-24-2004, 12:19 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by BAM
Take her to a porno. See if she'll go in.
Yeah, it worked for this guy:
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Old 03-24-2004, 12:26 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mud Pig
Well we'll see what happens. At this point the date isn't even set, but what should I do to avoid the friend zone.

I was thinking make sure to pay for everything at the very least.
yeah, pay for everything so she thinks you're the nice guy.

"Hi, I'm the nice guy. The safe guy. I'll lie in bed all night with a girl and nothing will happen."

Hell, NO! Make her pay for something Really small - like parking or something - ANYTHING - but make her pay something! If you see a movie, go to a matinee maybe and have her buy you a softdrink, then take her to dinner AFTER the movie. This is better than having the movie at the end of the date - it opens up opportunity for conversation.
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Old 03-24-2004, 12:36 PM   #13
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no no.... don't MAKE her pay for it... make her volunteer to pay for it.
As a chick, I know this: If I think it's my idea to pay for it and I'm into the guy, I WILL SPLURGE. If he mentions he can't afford it, or that it seems like a pain for him to pay for it, it's just irritating. Well, depending on what it is and how much I like the guy.
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Old 03-24-2004, 12:36 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mud Pig
Well we'll see what happens. At this point the date isn't even set, but what should I do to avoid the friend zone.

I was thinking make sure to pay for everything at the very least.
Main thing is to try and kiss her during the date. Make moves to get intimate, this way she knows without a doubt that you are interested. Dont **** around and not do anything until you know her, this will put you into the friend zone. You must make physical contact!
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Old 03-24-2004, 12:39 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by JGard
[b]...don't go to the movies, that's how. Do something where you two actually get to interact with each other, so you can prove that you're not as negative as you came across.[b]
Exactly!

Movies -> Silence -> No eye contact or interpersonal dialogue = Death
Why not go read books at the library?
You'ld be silent there too but at least you could actually sneak a glance for eye contact.

But seriously as I told you before take her to the Cherry Blossoms downtown while they're still in bloom. Then shoot over to Georgetown or even Alexandria at the waterfront for drinks, eats a walk around town and good times.
This time around leave the ass-man at home along with any negative attitude and weird/idiosyncratic tendencies he might have. Just bring along JGard and a personality that won't make people want to run or walk two steps ahead of you. Know what I mean mang?

Oh, and don't talk about your car, job, NASIOC or say werdz that are even remotely related to 1337. Ask her about her own life and feign interest. Look for common ground and most importantly at some point after you have broken the ice touch her on the face, shoulder, neck, lower leg/knee or hand. If she touches you in response on on her own in same/similar areas then that is a sign that she's opening up. If you touch her in anyone of those areas and she doesn't recoil or freeze up then that too is a sign that she's opening up.
Oh and to stay out the friend zone don't try/act like you're her friend. Act like a guy who's interested in getting some ass but isn't an oaf or a rapist frat boy with roofies in his coin pocket. Give her tons of direct eye contact, walk with pride and assuredness and don't go offering to fix her car and sheet. Basically don't act like your her brother.

Like anything else though don't push it.
Just play it cool man, play it cool.


- Janq
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Old 03-24-2004, 12:58 PM   #16
Brady
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mikkito
no no.... don't MAKE her pay for it... make her volunteer to pay for it.
As a chick, I know this: If I think it's my idea to pay for it and I'm into the guy, I WILL SPLURGE. If he mentions he can't afford it, or that it seems like a pain for him to pay for it, it's just irritating. Well, depending on what it is and how much I like the guy.
well, yes. obviously it would be bad to be like "hey bitch - you gotsta at least get the parking"

but it's a good idea to politely ask for something. if she's going to grab something from the snack stand, politely excuse yourself to the restroom and ask if she'll grab you a drink or something. THEN SAY THANK YOU!
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Old 03-24-2004, 01:01 PM   #17
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Janq the OT robot = the truth
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Old 03-24-2004, 01:41 PM   #18
Mikkito
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That's funny, almost everything Janq said wouldn't work for me. Even if you're ugly if you mention any online forum you score instant points with me. *chuckle* Talk about your car! Talk about your job if it's anything even remotely interesting!! For gods sake, DON'T TOUCH ME MORE THAN ONCE IF I DON'T GRAB YOUR HAND AND STICK IT SOMEWHERE ELSE. :P

Okay, on the touching thing: I've discovered that women like it when you don't touch them in a sexual manner, but you touch their shoulders and forearms in a nonchalant manner. Seriously.. Just be talking to her, and if you want her attention, gently stroke her shoulder. Then don't make anything of it. I always think a guy isn't interested in me if they touch me like that. We all know that it's a huge turn on to not think you're wanted - at least not badly.
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Old 03-24-2004, 01:42 PM   #19
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Janq has teh correct. If you act like a friend would act, then you'll immediately be in the friend zone. The only way she'll know you're interested in "more than friends" is if you show her (your wang), and the sooner the better. Hey, if it's in your personality you can even tell her that the reason you asked her out was because you thought she was hot, fun, whatever.
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Old 03-24-2004, 01:44 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by Brady
but it's a good idea to politely ask for something.



Am I getting THAT old?

I would NEVER ask a lady to spring for something. If she offered, and I didn't want to be on the friend ladder, I'd gently refuse, until we had a real relationship. If she didn't at least offer within the first 2-3 dates, I'd move along.

Am I that far off base with the young generation?

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Old 03-24-2004, 01:48 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mikkito
That's funny, almost everything Janq said wouldn't work for me. Even if you're ugly if you mention any online forum you score instant points with me. *chuckle* Talk about your car!...
No doubt but you have to admit you are far into the minority.
Its not like NASIOC is teaming with gals and there's a reason for that.

By and large the majority of girls on the street have zero interest in NASIOC, cars/tuners and 1337.
Meh.

BTW, you sound like a nice catch.
JGard if I were you I'd PM Mikkito and see about some online dating action.
Just don't invite her out for lobster.

- Janq
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Old 03-24-2004, 01:51 PM   #22
Mud Pig
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I'll take all these suggestions into consideration. The easiest way to make sure I stay out of the friend zone in my opinion is to pay for things. As for the touching part will have to see if the situation presents itself.
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Old 03-24-2004, 01:54 PM   #23
Janq
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Quote:
Originally posted by imprezton


Am I getting THAT old?

I would NEVER ask a lady to spring for something. If she offered, and I didn't want to be on the friend ladder, I'd gently refuse, until we had a real relationship. If she didn't at least offer within the first 2-3 dates, I'd move along.

Am I that far off base with the young generation?

Imprezton you and I are of the same mind and most probably generation.

I too feel the same way.
There is no way I'm going to ask a gal out on a date and then expect her to buy me sheet much less go dutch. That is a sure path to the friend zone witht he quickness.
Now days folks are all hung up and hating on the womens lib thing and feel/say that if they want to be equal then they can open their own door and pay for stuff themselves. Well its funny how many single guys say this.

I've been following this thread since the beginning and basically this will be dudes first real date. Their first outing was a disaster. It's his opportunity to start over and make things right. He needs to cough up the ducketts and pay for everything and impress her with being a cool cat and not a cheap ass.

Once he gets further down the road on a third or thirtieth date she then can start paying for stuff or treating him. But thats no where near the here and now.

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Old 03-24-2004, 01:56 PM   #24
Mikkito
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Quote:
Originally posted by Janq
No doubt but you have to admit you are far into the minority.
Its not like NASIOC is teaming with gals and there's a reason for that.

By and large the majority of girls on the street have zero interest in NASIOC, cars/tuners and 1337.
Meh.

BTW, you sound like a nice catch.
JGard if I were you I'd PM Mikkito and see about some online dating action.
Just don't invite her out for lobster.

- Janq
Urmm...thanks? Where's that chick at MIT pic again? :P
Minority? Yeah, I think I'm wired incorrectly. But at least I have tatas to play with WHENEVER I want.

Lobster=BLEEEECH. Not into the smell of seafood. If it comes from the water, it better smell like anything except seafood to get me to eat it...
*walks away from that one*
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Old 03-24-2004, 01:59 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mikkito
Lobster=BLEEEECH. Not into the smell of seafood.
*scratches Mikkito off his list of stalkees*
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