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Old 06-01-2004, 08:24 AM   #1
bender
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Default OT: don't mess with canadians

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VICTORIA, BC (PRWEB) May 26, 2004 -- In an attempt to get a free meal, what was described as a "very large" bear broke into the rural homestead of a BC college student, who was home on vacation at the time. The student, who would only give his name as Ryan, says, "I had just grilled out some salmon and walked back into the dining room to eat. Just as I had just sat down, it sounded at though someone was trying to break down my door." As Ryan went to investigate, the door burst open and the gaping maw of a northern Kodiak bear appeared inside his living room. Ryan recalls, "It was the scariest moment of my life, right up there with the fishing accident in Sasketoon when I was twelve."

As the bear forced it's way into the dining room area, the beast found the grilled salmon it had smelled from what authorities estimated was over a mile away, where they found the bear's tracks around a small cave. Ryan tried shouting at the bear to get it to leave, but the bear seemed to be intent on the salmon it was feasting on.

Ryan then proceeded to throw various kitchen utensials at the bear to get it's attention. "I wasn't sure what I was going to do," he said. "After I hit the bear in the head with a wooden spoon, the bear started coming after me!" The would-be bear snack ran to the other side of the kitchen counter as the bear raised up on it's hind legs and tried swatting at him. "The bear was blocking my way to my room where I actually have a gun, so I found the only thing I had that I did not throw at him, my frying pan." he relates. "I picked up the frying pan and shouted, bring it on, bring it on!" Ryan jumped over the counter and started swinging the frying pan. The animal, estimated at six feet tall on all fours and over eight hundred pounds, got back on all fours and started to charge the young man. When the bear was about 1 foot away from him, Ryan swung the cast iron frying pan and hit the bear on the right side of its head. "The bear appeared to be dazed, so I just kept pounding him with the frying pan."

"After I hit the bear about fifteen times, the bear fell to the floor, but I dared not let up. I hit him for about another five minutes until he was not moving at all," Ryan says. Only then did he take the time to call for local law enforcement. "When the police showed up, they could not believed what they saw."

"It was the craziest thing I've ever seen," said Officer F. Barnes, of the Victoria crime scene investigation unit. "He actually killed a bear with a frying pan." The local wildlife officer showed up and took measurements of the bear, one of the largest involved in a home invasion incident in recent memory.

The bear caused about $400 dollars in damage to the house. There is no word on what became of the animal's body, but local animal rights activists are filing to take posession of the bear's remains, claiming it was an immoral act of killing, and Ryan should not be allowed to make a bearskin rug out of it. Darcy Morris, president of the local chapter of Animal Rights Abuse Watch (ARAW), says, "This young man should be prosecuted, not praised. The bear was simply following his natural instincts, and had this Ryan criminal left it alone, no harm would have been done. It's disgusting, and he can expect to hear from our lawyers." Ryan's attorney could not be reached for comment.
note to self:
bring frying pan to next rally

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Old 06-01-2004, 08:50 AM   #2
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Hahahaha they are suing him for animal abuse or something? The self-defense arguement alone will let him off.
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Old 06-01-2004, 10:27 AM   #3
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I say sue the parnets of the bear for raising a son or daughter who is not under control.

Sheesh, the guy was in a life-or-death situation. Stoopid litigation.

LaterZ!
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Old 06-01-2004, 11:30 AM   #4
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Didn't know they had bears on the Island...
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Old 06-01-2004, 12:02 PM   #5
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I think they have bears but know they don't have Kodiak (aka Grizzly) bears on the Island...
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Old 06-01-2004, 01:36 PM   #6
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learned something new everyday

frying pan can kill a bear
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Old 06-01-2004, 02:05 PM   #7
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that was soo funny. it's great to see a guy being pro-active, instead of just letting the bear attack him (like those stoopid horror flicks)...

the frying pan must've been cast iron, cos they weigh like boat anchors. no way in hell would an aluminum one work.
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Old 06-01-2004, 02:14 PM   #8
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Yeah, that's about right.

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.
I call hoax. Even the dumbest of fact-checkers would catch the misspelled "Saskatoon". And the way it's written smacks of high school student BS.

Not to mention the political angle, painting animal rights groups as idiots...
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Old 06-01-2004, 02:33 PM   #9
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Or how about the fact the Vancouver Island isn't in southwestern Alaska?

Range of the Kodiak bear:
Northwest North America; Restricted to Kodiak, Afognak, and Shuyak Islands (the Aluetian chain)


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Old 06-01-2004, 04:16 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by Necromancer
.
I call hoax. Even the dumbest of fact-checkers would catch the misspelled "Saskatoon". And the way it's written smacks of high school student BS.

Not to mention the political angle, painting animal rights groups as idiots...
True.

Other things - why would the Victoria crime scene department investigate this? And what is the Animal Rights Abuse Watch (ARAW)? What happened to the SPCA.

I think I've been duped into posting a stoopid response.

LaterZ!
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Old 06-01-2004, 10:24 PM   #11
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Prosecuted? The guy killed the bear in order to survive. Its not like he did it for sport.. c'mon..
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Old 06-02-2004, 12:11 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by AllWheelDrift
I think they have bears but know they don't have Kodiak (aka Grizzly) bears on the Island...
That's right, no grizzly's here. Lots of black ones up to the north of the Island though. And it's highly unlikely to see them close to Victoria, and definitely not within city limits.
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Old 06-02-2004, 02:34 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mirage
Prosecuted? The guy killed the bear in order to survive. Its not like he did it for sport.. c'mon..
Dude....even if the story was true, the bear was just eatin ghis salmon and the guy started yelling at it and throwing kitchen utensils at it; THEN it went after him. So, his life was not in danger (if the story were true) UNTIL he started to throw stuff at it. So, if it WAS true I'd say Ryan was about the biggest idiot around. What would I do, get the crap out of the house and go to the neighbors to call 911 or SPCA or Greenpeace or whatever.
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Old 06-02-2004, 03:56 AM   #14
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I thought the spooning part was a bit outrageous..
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Old 06-02-2004, 01:41 PM   #15
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Yeah.. You'd get like two feet from a real bear with a wooden spoon or not, and it would got freaky on you leaving you with a need for massive stiches and possibly killinging you within 5-10 seconds.. Same thing with the fry pan.. Not gonna happen, the first blow would graze off the bear's head and it'd be eating you alive before you could swing again. A bear's skull, letalone a kodiak's, is super thick, to the point where a .22 rifle isn't lethal. Your chances of killing a kodiak with a fry pan are about as stupid as sticking around when one comes into your house.
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Old 06-02-2004, 05:15 PM   #16
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I lived on the island for about 7 years and explored lots of wilderness areas and never once saw a trace of a bear. Where as on the North Shore in Vancouver I've seen one in my neighbours swimming pool, seen them while rollerblading, kayaking, biking and hiking many times.
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Old 06-02-2004, 05:30 PM   #17
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[Simpsons on]

Homer walks into the house with his shirt and pants torn up

Marge: What happened?

Homer: I'm fine now... I don't want to talk about it

Marge: I don't want anything to happen to you or it'll be more than I can bare!

Homer: aaaaahhhhh!!! Bear!

Homer runs up the stairs

[Simpsons off]


So it's Killer Bear vs. Bear Killer

Neither is truly right, but neither is truly wrong...
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Old 06-03-2004, 12:06 AM   #18
skier
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Quote:
Originally posted by tora
I lived on the island for about 7 years and explored lots of wilderness areas and never once saw a trace of a bear. Where as on the North Shore in Vancouver I've seen one in my neighbours swimming pool, seen them while rollerblading, kayaking, biking and hiking many times.
Saw one just a few weeks ago on my way to Tofino, 10-15 kms to the west from Port Alberni. It was eating grass on the hwy shoulder
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Old 06-03-2004, 01:00 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by skier
Saw one just a few weeks ago on my way to Tofino, 10-15 kms to the west from Port Alberni. It was eating grass on the hwy shoulder
I live in the boonies and I see all sorts of deer, racoons, squirrels, wierd sounding birds, bugs, cute rats, rabbits, mice, some stinky snakes, salamanders, fish, frogs, and yeah I've seen bear. Everyone out here gets to see them on the road or at a salmon spawn, but I've had 2 personal meetings with bears that were paying as little attention to where they were going as I was and we both saw each other way too late. Both times it was a small brown bear and in both cases the bears did a 180 and left faster than they arrived.

Oh and according to Google there's no ARAW in Canada.
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Old 06-03-2004, 01:01 AM   #20
tora
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Quote:
Originally posted by skier
Saw one just a few weeks ago on my way to Tofino, 10-15 kms to the west from Port Alberni. It was eating grass on the hwy shoulder
That's a little far from Victoria.....but I actually had thought I heard somewhere that there were no bears.....it was probably Bowen or Saltspring or something.
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Old 06-03-2004, 01:14 AM   #21
skier
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Quote:
Originally posted by 420WRX
I live in the boonies and I see all sorts of deer, racoons, squirrels, wierd sounding birds, bugs, cute rats, rabbits, mice, some stinky snakes, salamanders, fish, frogs, and yeah I've seen bear. Everyone out here gets to see them on the road or at a salmon spawn, but I've had 2 personal meetings with bears that were paying as little attention to where they were going as I was and we both saw each other way too late. Both times it was a small brown bear and in both cases the bears did a 180 and left faster than they arrived.

Oh and according to Google there's no ARAW in Canada.
Yeah. But it's quite scary to hike somewhere all alone anyway. One can always meet one crazy hungry bear which won't do a 180...
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Old 06-03-2004, 10:03 AM   #22
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Yeah, it's one of those brush with death things when you consider what would happen if the bear was bigger and more hungry.. Especially since I don't take a frypan with me on my walks..
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Old 06-03-2004, 10:52 AM   #23
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Of the 15 or 20 bears I've encountered I've only had one rush me and that was because I was between a mother and two cubs, I took off and that was the end of it. Black bears are very unlikely to attack a human unless they are cornered or have no other choice. Even when they attack if you are able to make an escape route for them they will usually depart. Simple thing, if you are in an area that MAY have bears, make lots of noise and chances are you will not even see them.
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Old 06-03-2004, 03:28 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by tora
Of the 15 or 20 bears I've encountered I've only had one rush me and that was because I was between a mother and two cubs, I took off and that was the end of it. Black bears are very unlikely to attack a human unless they are cornered or have no other choice. Even when they attack if you are able to make an escape route for them they will usually depart. Simple thing, if you are in an area that MAY have bears, make lots of noise and chances are you will not even see them.
key word is "usually"
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Old 06-03-2004, 05:45 PM   #25
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Mmmghey......how many bear attacks have you heard of? I'd be more afraid of me neighbours chihuahua.
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