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Old 06-21-2004, 12:48 PM   #1
Dracon
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Member#: 50613
Join Date: Dec 2003
Default I'm going to strangle the guy next to me...

The guy in the cube next to me is so freaking anoying... He tries so hard to make me look bad to my boss... Like today, I get to work on time and he's not at his desk (he comes in an hour earlier than me) so I get my PC up and running, log in, look at the days work, and then go for some coffee. When I get back (like 2 minutes) he's at his desk and hears me sit down, so he says really loud "Oh, nice of you to finally make it in..." It's only 8:07 at this point anyway, so even if I was just gettting in, it wouldn't be the end of the world, but he just does it to make me look bad.

If my boss isn't in his office and can't hear him he will NEVER say anything like this, he only does it when he thinks our boss will hear and half the time he's wrong like today... He's so freaking irritating... I think I'm going to have to take matters in my own hands and pee in his coffee or something...
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Old 06-21-2004, 12:52 PM   #2
gongzero
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Up with skirts,
down with pants!

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Put gay porn in his desk then superglue the drawers shut. Offer to call maintenance for him.


-A
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Old 06-21-2004, 12:53 PM   #3
jetwagon
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Next time he gets up to take a steamer, visit overthrow.com or visit some online porn from his pc.
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Old 06-21-2004, 12:57 PM   #4
AaronWRX
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2011 997.2 Turbo
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You should read the writings of the wise and great Herbert Kornfeld, Accounts Receivable Supervisor for Midstage Office Supplies.

He is great, AND wise. (thats worth mentioning twice.)
His memoarer's are chronicled at theonion.com and his teachings will help you overcome ANY office trial or tribulation.
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Old 06-21-2004, 12:57 PM   #5
docwhorocks
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Scottsdale

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Stab him in the eyeball with a spork.
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Old 06-21-2004, 01:28 PM   #6
mrbigisbudgood
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2013 Mazdaspeed 3
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Print this out and put it on his desk every morning.
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Old 06-21-2004, 01:30 PM   #7
Dracon
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Default

Quote:
Originally posted by mrbigisbudgood
Print this out and put it on his desk every morning.
that's awesome!!!!
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Old 06-21-2004, 01:34 PM   #8
Brad Pittiful
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. .
This ain't no picnic!

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wow...that guy must think you are teh better worker and is insecure...sycophantical types suck
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Old 06-21-2004, 03:34 PM   #9
JDM_Scobaru
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after work just kick him in the gizzard and throw him in a dumpster in a dark alley
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Old 06-21-2004, 03:37 PM   #10
Brad Pittiful
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. .
This ain't no picnic!

Default

heres an idear...let your boss know that youre going to be 20 minutes late one day...and dont let the ass in the next cube know...somehow have your boss be near when you come in 20 minutes late...then when the dumbass speaks up maybe your boss will get wind of his asshatness
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Old 06-21-2004, 03:38 PM   #11
incorporeal
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does he have a significant other? pretend that you are talking to her on the phone really loud. Say things like "baby we cant keep doing this, he works in the cube right next to me" and "its nice that we can get a little time to do stuff in the morning because he leaves for work so early"


FTW
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Old 06-21-2004, 03:40 PM   #12
Dracon
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Default

Quote:
Originally posted by Brad Pittiful
heres an idear...let your boss know that youre going to be 20 minutes late one day...and dont let the ass in the next cube know...somehow have your boss be near when you come in 20 minutes late...then when the dumbass speaks up maybe your boss will get wind of his asshatness
That's happened, I called because of a wreck on the interstate and said I'd be late. I walk in 15 minutes late and he goes into his whole: "Wow, it's so nice of you to actually join us here at work today..." and my boss was right there and just said, "oh he called to let me know." so the little punk just says: "oh, well there's a first..." I just wanted to beat the living crap out of him...
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Old 06-21-2004, 03:46 PM   #13
jashon
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why not talk to him?
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Old 06-21-2004, 03:46 PM   #14
perret318
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WHO DAT!

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Quote:
Originally posted by Dracon
That's happened, I called because of a wreck on the interstate and said I'd be late. I walk in 15 minutes late and he goes into his whole: "Wow, it's so nice of you to actually join us here at work today..." and my boss was right there and just said, "oh he called to let me know." so the little punk just says: "oh, well there's a first..." I just wanted to beat the living crap out of him...
Wow, I would seriously confront him about that if I had been in your shoes. I wouldn't stand for that **** for a second.
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Old 06-21-2004, 03:49 PM   #15
incorporeal
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Default

1. screwdriver
2. neck
3. ?
4. profit


FTW
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Old 06-21-2004, 03:52 PM   #16
Brad Pittiful
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Chapter/Region: Tri-State
Location: A Town Called Malice
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. .
This ain't no picnic!

Default

Quote:
Originally posted by Dracon
That's happened, I called because of a wreck on the interstate and said I'd be late. I walk in 15 minutes late and he goes into his whole: "Wow, it's so nice of you to actually join us here at work today..." and my boss was right there and just said, "oh he called to let me know." so the little punk just says: "oh, well there's a first..." I just wanted to beat the living crap out of him...
are you kidding me...well its time for a beat down...what does this guy look like...is he nerdy...regualr or a jock...follow him home...then deflate one of his tires...then bust his balls when he comes in late...or kill him
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Old 06-21-2004, 03:54 PM   #17
Blknblu
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2000 Ducati M900

Default

Quote:
Originally posted by incorporeal
1. screwdriver
2. neck
3. ?
4. profit


FTW


Serioiusly man.. which guy is this? Is it the one that ran his fat mouth when we where in your parking lot using the delta dash? Just tell me what he drives and how he comes into work and I'll make sure I get in front of him and "slow him down"
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Old 06-21-2004, 03:58 PM   #18
Dracon
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Default

Quote:
Originally posted by jashon
why not talk to him?
Quote:
Originally posted by perret318
Wow, I would seriously confront him about that if I had been in your shoes. I wouldn't stand for that **** for a second.

I did confront him once but it does nothing, I seriously think a beating is the only thing that would get through to him, but then I'd get fired...

Another example - On a Friday he told me to work on a project that needed to be done the following week and he was going to be out on Monday and Tuesday. (He's not over me, but he's always trying to tell me what to do...) So mon and tues pass and I'm like a 4th of the way don't with what he wanted me to do, but I was slammed because I was the only person working for those two days. So he gets back and asked if I've finished...

Me: "no, I couldn't, but I've done this ______."

Him (talking so my boss can hear): "What the hell, you only have one thing to do for two days and you didn't even finish??? Give me the laptops and I'll just have to do them."

Me: "I'll finish them, don't worry about it, I was slammed on mon and tue."

Him: "Whatever, they should have been done"

me: "I told you I'd finish them, I was the only person here and I've been slammed..."

him: "Bottom line, they should have been done"

so I blow up "Look! I've done three things for you brian, I've told you why they weren't done, I've appoligised for them not being done, and I've offered to finish them myself, so you have nothing to say!"

he just mumbles about how they should have been done...
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Old 06-21-2004, 03:59 PM   #19
Dracon
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Default

Quote:
Originally posted by Blknblu


Serioiusly man.. which guy is this? Is it the one that ran his fat mouth when we where in your parking lot using the delta dash? Just tell me what he drives and how he comes into work and I'll make sure I get in front of him and "slow him down"
Yes, that's the one... God he pisses me off...
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Old 06-21-2004, 04:01 PM   #20
Brad Pittiful
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Chapter/Region: Tri-State
Location: A Town Called Malice
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. .
This ain't no picnic!

Default

dude how can you take it...either id beat him or go to your boss...you dont have to take that crap...its harassment
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Old 06-21-2004, 04:02 PM   #21
BlueCoupe
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seriously beat the crap out of him!

btw what would you do that might get you fired? OT might be able to get you off the hook
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Old 06-21-2004, 04:06 PM   #22
boxered
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pimpslap him
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Old 06-21-2004, 04:13 PM   #23
Blknblu
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Location: 2 star hotel
Vehicle:
2000 Ducati M900

Default

Quote:
Originally posted by Dracon
Yes, that's the one... God he pisses me off...
Hehe... Dude your boss seams cool enough.. just tell him what an asshat the other guy is and you can't deal with it anymore or your going to end him.

Edit: If that doesn't work my 9mm is for rent
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Old 06-21-2004, 04:14 PM   #24
Dracon
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Default

you have a 9mm??? when did this happen????
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Old 06-21-2004, 04:15 PM   #25
Blknblu
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Chapter/Region: PRSIC
Location: 2 star hotel
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2000 Ducati M900

Default

Quote:
Originally posted by Dracon
you have a 9mm??? when did this happen????
It's that S&W I got from mi padre.
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