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Old 12-30-2004, 01:17 PM   #1
chexmix78
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Default So after 3+ years i am single as of last night

sorry i have girl issue's too and don't know who to turn too.

I met this girl and we had one of those relationships where it is very emotionaly charged, when its good its really good, and when it's bad it's very bad. We argue alot. We disagree on most things. And i know better, I know that relationships like this usually don't last. But the way i looked at things something about her made me want to be with her. Something about her was worth all the headaches. When i met her, I was dating so I knew other girls. So I left behind all these possibilities for her. And i got along WAY better with theses other girls...i couldn't explain it, but to me it meant a lot, it meant she was special since i was leaving so much behind. I am 26 and to this day she is the only girl i've ever been with that i've told her I loved her. Sappy i know, yet it makes me wonder.

so last night i broke up with her, i wasn't sure if i wanted to do it, it was more of a bluff, I wanted to know how she felt. It was a risk i was willing to take since i didn't want to commit any more of myself unless i was sure she felt the same way.

so she was more ok than i was with it. I knew this might happen, and i guess you shouldn't test things, but things have gotten real bad.

so now i feel like crap, i have an extra ticket for new years, and i want to run back to her, but i don't think i should...

more details upon request, if anybody cares to know.

CN: gf of 3 years and i argue alot i got frustrated and broke up with her since i didn't know what else to do, she was OK with that , and i still don't know what else to do.
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:19 PM   #2
Optimus Prime
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Sorry about that. But you should always listen to your gut. Better now than in 5 years when you might be married or have kids.

Trust me dude, you'll find someone who makes you feel 100 times better.
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:19 PM   #3
westphalia
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My kids are now 4 & 2

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YES! Thursday WAPCE! Thank you!
BTW, thats sucks.
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:20 PM   #4
Grap
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Based on your CN's, she banging some other dude.
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:20 PM   #5
aod
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You can still be **** buddies, especially if she's okay with IDP.
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:20 PM   #6
imprezton
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Walk away. Breathe the air. Find a girl you can get along with.
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:21 PM   #7
Brad Pittiful
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This ain't no picnic!

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timing is everything...to bad it didnt happen before xmas and you didnt have to spend cash on your SO
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:23 PM   #8
westphalia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Pittiful
timing is everything...to bad it didnt happen before xmas and you didnt have to spend cash on your SO
She probably planned it that way... WAPCE
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:23 PM   #9
chexmix78
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yeah i spent alot on her, and the truth is i don't care. I mean she owes me money and i wouldn't charge her, if its over its over
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:23 PM   #10
Brad Pittiful
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Quote:
Originally Posted by westphalia
She probably planned it that way... WAPCE
i think youre right
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:24 PM   #11
chexmix78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by westphalia
She probably planned it that way... WAPCE
no i know she didn't becasue i am poor so she wasn't expecting much from me.
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:24 PM   #12
docwhorocks
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chexmix78
yeah i spent alot on her, and the truth is i don't care. I mean she owes me money and i wouldn't charge her, if its over its over
Good attitude to have. Life poops on ya sometimes. Alcohol helps clean poop off

"My advice to you is to drink heavily"
--"You should listen to him. He's pre-med."
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:25 PM   #13
SLKWrx
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Bluff or not man, you made the right choice, relationships that resemble rollercoasters will never last.. There is a girl out there that will make the good times just as good if not better, and the bad times seem like nothing at all..
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:26 PM   #14
PullinSmuts
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i have a very similar situation...

mine got a little more complicated... we were together for 3 years and then we just started fighting all the time and every little thing she did started to get on my nerves... ie - say i dont know all the time, always forget ****... etc. plus her mom was a total bitch. anyways i decided to steer clear of her for a while and i realized that i really missed her... but then i realized that im not giving all these other girls a chance if i keep missing her, little by little i stopped thinking about her, and got a different girl. Then she came home from school (summer break) and i started talking to her again... (biggest mistake) and i started seeing what i liked in her and she swore she wouldnt do what she used to... so i left that other girl behind. by the end of the summer, not even 3 months it was same **** different day. I really regret leavin the other girl for my ex because it wasnt worth it, she was a much better person...


Moral of the story - dont go back, open your eyes, forget about her.
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:31 PM   #15
jaxscuby
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it does not change when you older.
with age (i'm 39) you are supposes to learn
from life's lessons and move on.

I understand the emotion part due to my recent
breakup with my gf of 1.5 years. But half of me
is looking forward to the future and the other
half is looking back.

there of plenty of fish in the ocean. but its the wait
of finding a new fish that seems to take a long time.

sucks even worse when she has kids. and i love her kids.
the kids still hang with me. but she will make her own mind
on what she wants. not much we/you can do about it.

hang in there...better days on the horizon..
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:40 PM   #16
chexmix78
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in her defense she wrote this today, she would kill me if she knew i put this out here, but it's not like we are in good standing

I love you very much and only wish good things and happiness for you.
You are a great person...but I understand if i am not the girl for you.
You make me feel like you would be happier with someone else.
And don't think that I can be this super fantastic person if only i tried
and made an effort.
I am trying to be better, in my own way, while dealing also with inner
demons and situations...
but i cannot expect you to understand.

i wish it hadn't ended like this either.
but at least i will be around my family who don't expect me to be someone
other than i am.
and still love me.

From you point of view, I realize that you deserve a better
girlfriend...you have different needs than i do.
And not that i don't care about your needs and wants...but i guess i find
it extrememly hard to satisfy you when
i can't even satisfy myself.
You treat me well and give me so much...and I don't do the same for you.
I can't give it back the way you want me to...

And so while this seems to you that I don't care...it's not.
It's just i don't feel up to your standards and expectations
and i don't think i can ever get there.

You are important to me. That is why I do make an effort.
Probably not enough for you, but i do.
Like going to your house during a snow storm and taking a sick baby...
I knew it would make you happy.

I know i don't do things often enough...and i guess there's someone who
will.
And you want that person, not me.
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:43 PM   #17
Asinine
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Let go and move on. It's painful for a reason, but it's the right thing to do.

(disclaimer: I only skimmed your post and I'm having my own relationship issues at the moment, so........ chin up, soldier)
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:43 PM   #18
tacomaprime
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i broke up with an ex on xmas eve day a few years ago. Best move I ever made.
As soon as she got the ring, she turned into super bitch.
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:45 PM   #19
aod
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Dumbass. When you translate that letter, it means she was going to offer IDP. Now she's going to go offer it to someone else out of spite.
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:46 PM   #20
imprezton
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chexmix78
in her defense she wrote this today, she would kill me if she knew i put this out here, but it's not like we are in good standing

I love you very much and only wish good things and happiness for you.
You are a great person...but I understand if i am not the girl for you.
You make me feel like you would be happier with someone else.
And don't think that I can be this super fantastic person if only i tried
and made an effort.
I am trying to be better, in my own way, while dealing also with inner
demons and situations...
but i cannot expect you to understand.

i wish it hadn't ended like this either.
but at least i will be around my family who don't expect me to be someone
other than i am.
and still love me.

From you point of view, I realize that you deserve a better
girlfriend...you have different needs than i do.
And not that i don't care about your needs and wants...but i guess i find
it extrememly hard to satisfy you when
i can't even satisfy myself.
You treat me well and give me so much...and I don't do the same for you.
I can't give it back the way you want me to...

And so while this seems to you that I don't care...it's not.
It's just i don't feel up to your standards and expectations
and i don't think i can ever get there.

You are important to me. That is why I do make an effort.
Probably not enough for you, but i do.
Like going to your house during a snow storm and taking a sick baby...
I knew it would make you happy.

I know i don't do things often enough...and i guess there's someone who
will.
And you want that person, not me.
She watches The Bachelor and Average Joe type shows religiously, doesn't she?
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:49 PM   #21
chexmix78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imprezton
She watches The Bachelor and Average Joe type shows religiously, doesn't she?
cuz she's trying to make me feel better about things?
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:58 PM   #22
imprezton
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chexmix78
cuz she's trying to make me feel better about things?
You don't read female-ish very well.

She's trying to tell you that you are too picky and too demanding for her.
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:58 PM   #23
chexmix78
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wow perfect timing i guess

Por tu amor que tanto quiero y tanto extraño
Que me sirvan otra copa y muchas más.
Que me sirvan de una vez pa' todo el año
Que me pienso seriamente enborrachar.

Si te cuentan que me vieron muy borracho
Orgullosamente díles que es por tí.
Porque yo tendré el valor de no negarlo
Gritaré que por tu amor me estoy matando
Y sabrán que por tus besos me perdí.

Para de hoy en adelante ya el amor no me interesa
Gritaré por todo el mundo mi dolor y mi tristeza.
Porque sé que en éste golpe ya no voy a levantarme
Aunque yo no lo quisiera, voy a morirme de amor.

Para de hoy en adelante...

Jose Alfredo Jimenez

CN: basically it's a song where the guy asks to be served liquor, and decides **** it, serve me enough for the whole year, basically WAPCE
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Old 12-30-2004, 01:59 PM   #24
chexmix78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imprezton
You don't read female-ish very well.

She's trying to tell you that you are too picky and too demanding for her.
oh, well i do know that she argues that, but my only arguement against her is that she's not fair, and she knows this. I try so hard to be understanding but she tries to get away wwith so much and cuts me no slack
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Old 12-30-2004, 02:02 PM   #25
imprezton
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chexmix78
oh, well i do know that she argues that, but my only arguement against her is that she's not fair, and she knows this.
If you're looking for a fair woman, then I have some lyrics for you...

Quote:
I want to live,
I want to give
I’ve been a miner for a heart of gold.
It’s these expressions I never give
That keep me searching for a heart of gold
And I’m getting old.
Keeps me searching for a heart of gold
And I’m getting old.

I’ve been to hollywood
I’ve been to redwood
I crossed the ocean for a heart of gold
I’ve been in my mind, it’s such a fine line
That keeps me searching for a heart of gold
And I’m getting old.
Keeps me searching for a heart of gold
And I’m getting old.

Keep me searching for a heart of gold
You keep me searching for a heart of gold
And I’m getting old.
I’ve been a miner for a heart of gold
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