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Old 08-17-2005, 10:51 AM   #1
rogue
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Thumbs down Wanted: Amateur hitman to take down customer, will pay in cheese.

We're an ISP.

We have hundreds of customers.

And we have one problem child that we're about to dump, even though they pay us good money.

They keep complaining about their speeds... which are fine and what we sold them, and they're totally maxing out their link. They need to buy something better, but they won't.

So we set up a speed-test page for them to look at and feel good about themselves. I watched them hit it, and reported the speed as viewed from my end.

Here's their reply.

Quote:
Agree, the outcome was lower, so we will have to figure out the difference between throughput and utilization...
What the hell do you say to something like that?
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Old 08-17-2005, 10:52 AM   #2
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IB suggestion I change their name to "Bitch Dog"
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Old 08-17-2005, 10:52 AM   #3
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Sounds pretty simple to me.
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Old 08-17-2005, 10:52 AM   #4
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drive-by paintball barrage?
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Old 08-17-2005, 10:52 AM   #5
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Did soembody mention cheese?

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Old 08-17-2005, 10:53 AM   #6
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What kind of cheese are we talking about?


-A
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Old 08-17-2005, 10:54 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dcmomentum
Sounds pretty simple to me.
By all means, explain it to me!

I understood the words... but the sentence doesn't MEAN anything.
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Old 08-17-2005, 10:56 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rogue
IB suggestion I change their name to "Bitch Dog"
how did you hear about that? I just read that this morning...is it nat'l news?
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Old 08-17-2005, 10:56 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gongzero
What kind of cheese are we talking about?


-A
yeah, i mean if your serious we need to start negotiating cheese type and quantity - you really are leaving out some vital decision making information
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Old 08-17-2005, 10:57 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mms4ba
how did you hear about that? I just read that this morning...is it nat'l news?
Better: it's OT news
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Old 08-17-2005, 10:58 AM   #11
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FINE! Payment will be made in 64 umarked, nonsequential slices of American cheese.
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Old 08-17-2005, 10:59 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rogue
By all means, explain it to me!

I understood the words... but the sentence doesn't MEAN anything.
It seems that they are trying to do a rudimentary gap analysis.
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Old 08-17-2005, 10:59 AM   #13
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ah didn't see the thread yet...this was the first OT thread I opened...yours!
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Old 08-17-2005, 11:00 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rogue
FINE! Payment will be made in 64 umarked, nonsequential slices of American cheese.
American will get you a beating with a rubber hose. I need at least Pepper Jack to think about killing.
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Old 08-17-2005, 11:00 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rogue
FINE! Payment will be made in 64 umarked, nonsequential slices of American cheese.

mmmmm 64 slices of indvidually wrapped american cheese

MmMmM 63 slices of individually wrapped american cheese

<repeat until mr burns falls from ceiling>

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Old 08-17-2005, 11:00 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dcmomentum
It seems that they are trying to do a rudimentary gap analysis.
By re-aligning their paradigms against the upmarket trend?

Their throughput IS their utilization. They're the only ones on the line.
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Old 08-17-2005, 11:01 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rogue
FINE! Payment will be made in 64 umarked, nonsequential slices of American cheese.
Cheddar or Monterey Jack?

It better not be ****ing Kraft singles.


-A
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Old 08-17-2005, 11:02 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gongzero
Cheddar or Monterey Jack?

It better not be ****ing Kraft singles.


-A
He said American you Canuckistani peon.

American cheese, **** yeah!
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Old 08-17-2005, 11:03 AM   #19
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For a killin you're looking at a good havarti or some smoked gouda at least.
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Old 08-17-2005, 11:04 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rogue
By re-aligning their paradigms against the upmarket trend?

Their throughput IS their utilization. They're the only ones on the line.
Hmm... proactive? paradigm? Aren't those just words dumb people use to make themselves sound smart? [/Lisa Simpson]
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Old 08-17-2005, 11:04 AM   #21
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For any soft, ripened goat cheese they get hurt.

For castelmagno, they go away.
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Old 08-17-2005, 11:05 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rogue
By re-aligning their paradigms against the upmarket trend?

Their throughput IS their utilization. They're the only ones on the line.
They seem to believe that there's a gap between their utilitzation and their throughput...
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Old 08-17-2005, 11:05 AM   #23
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I would say Gouda or Feta, but I'm not doing jack squat for American - Baby Swiss or provolone might get someones grill smashed in though
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Old 08-17-2005, 11:05 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jard
He said American you Canuckistani peon.

American cheese, **** yeah!
Monterey is in America!

I'm pretty sure Chedd is too.


-A
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Old 08-17-2005, 11:06 AM   #25
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For you people, my favorite brand: Cabot!
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