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Old 02-07-2006, 04:20 PM   #1
ErikAnderson
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Default Since we are on a military thread spree today... dumb things you have seen.

I have seen a Marine get three DUIs in 48 hours.

I have seen a Sailor get 6 months behind on his house FOUR (4) months after getting a 30,000 reenlistment bonus. (the math behind that one makes my brain all smushy)

I have seen DOZENS of Marines and Sailors get married in order to get out of the barraks -FER THE MUNEY *cope spit*- only to knock up the little 17-19 year old and end up paying for a Foxtrot Tango for the next 18 years.

I HAVE been placed in the wrong hangar in Aviano Italy durring the Kosovo war, a hangar that noone was supposed to use. My supervisor went away and i was a curious little LCPL. I found a panel on the floor, started fooling with it and ended up dropping a ramp that connected a underground tunnel from the armory to this hangar. About 1 min later a hummer full of Airforce Security armed to the TEEFS pulls up and puts me on my face via a M203 grenade launcher. It was a Saturday afternoon and the base General came to see me him self, while wearing his golf clothing.
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Old 02-07-2006, 04:21 PM   #2
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terrorist!11!
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Old 02-07-2006, 04:25 PM   #3
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Why is it that most people I meet that used to be in the Navy are all drug addicts? Army? Nope. Marines? Hell no. Air Force? Don't know many, but none there either. Just seems to proliferate the Navy...
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Old 02-07-2006, 04:25 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boxered
terrorist!11!
lawl

that same tour when i was in Aviano, we had communists (stinky Italian ones, with Yadria arms) rioting outside our gates.

the airforce is like "well ALL Marines know hand to hand MORTALKOMBAT!!! so lets have them handle this"

So they dig this BIIIIG long trench, about 50m back from the fence line, give us little 1 inch dowels with grip tape on one end, and tell us to get in. THEN they all line up about 100m (i **** you not) behind us with hummers and machine guns.

So here i am in my body armor, having rocks and what not rain down on me, with my stick... while the airforce is twice the distance from me as i am to the gate with GUNS.

Fun times.
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Old 02-07-2006, 04:27 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ErikAnderson
I have seen a Marine get three DUIs in 48 hours.

I have seen a Sailor get 6 months behind on his house FOUR (4) months after getting a 30,000 reenlistment bonus. (the math behind that one makes my brain all smushy)

I have seen DOZENS of Marines and Sailors get married in order to get out of the barraks -FER THE MUNEY *cope spit*- only to knock up the little 17-19 year old and end up paying for a Foxtrot Tango for the next 18 years.

I HAVE been placed in the wrong hangar in Aviano Italy durring the Kosovo war, a hangar that noone was supposed to use. My supervisor went away and i was a curious little LCPL. I found a panel on the floor, started fooling with it and ended up dropping a ramp that connected a underground tunnel from the armory to this hangar. About 1 min later a hummer full of Airforce Security armed to the TEEFS pulls up and puts me on my face via a M203 grenade launcher. It was a Saturday afternoon and the base General came to see me him self, while wearing his golf clothing
.


nice
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Old 02-07-2006, 04:28 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tcs007
Why is it that most people I meet that used to be in the Navy are all drug addicts? Army? Nope. Marines? Hell no. Air Force? Don't know many, but none there either. Just seems to proliferate the Navy...
its teh shipz mangz... being packed with a bunch of swangin wang will force you
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Old 02-07-2006, 04:31 PM   #7
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My friend dared another Airman to jump off the second story of the dormitory for 40 bucks.. and he said he would give him an extra 20 if he screamed "TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!" lmfao... the guy declined the 20, jumped and broke his ankle... my friends couldn't stop laughing even though the guy was screaming in pain.
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Old 02-07-2006, 04:35 PM   #8
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I've seen a single F/A-18 decide to break right over a division (4) of T-45's in El Centro. I was Dash-3 is said formation and almost shat myself when I saw numbnuts try to kill me.

Also in El Centro, after recovering off a bombing run, I was a tad surprised to see a EA-6B Prowler filling my windscreen. After wrapping the turn up and my IP wondering what the hell I was doing, I politely pointed out the gray airplane flying away oblivious to the world. 4 guys in the damn aircraft and they wander right through a restricted area. I am now flying said aircraft. I am scared. Needless to say, I don't trust NFO's any farther than I can throw them.

I've seen confetti blow out the back of a T-45 after an approach plate got sucked down the engine after the pilot opened the canopy. A $1 million paper shredder.

Four experienced pilots do a 300' right hand break (bad idea) directly over the Commodore's building. Commodore was not amused.
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Old 02-07-2006, 04:42 PM   #9
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I saw a cow that had been hit broadside by a LAW missile. It made a two foot hole in the cow. The cow sat there for weeks. It stank.

I saw a guy fire an RPG from the prone position. Instead of laying at a 45 degree angle from the line of fire, he lay inline with the RPG. He hit the trigger, guess what? 6 feet of flames shot out the back of the launch tube...over his ass and legs...yyyyoooowwwww, sizzle.

I saw myself standing in a trench learning to throw grenades. I was instructed to throw, verify that it landed where I intended visually (ie watch it until it lands, then duck). I threw, and as grenades are freaky stupid weapons, I ducked immediately. Tsk rsk, try again. Relax. Throw. Look. Duck. Yeah, great. I threw, and watched it fall, and slowly roll behind a rock. Cool. Hmm. Let meOwwhythe****ismycommandertacklingme??? Oh, yeah. Duck. That's right. *kicks self*

I saw my commander nonchalantly take a crap in a plastic bag 3 feet from my face. He then tied a knot in the bag, and handed it to me. I'm still not sure what that was about. something something leave no trace Yeah, I had to carry everyones crap out of the location.
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Old 02-07-2006, 04:42 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper23
I've seen a single F/A-18 decide to break right over a division (4) of T-45's in El Centro. I was Dash-3 is said formation and almost shat myself when I saw numbnuts try to kill me.

Also in El Centro, after recovering off a bombing run, I was a tad surprised to see a EA-6B Prowler filling my windscreen. After wrapping the turn up and my IP wondering what the hell I was doing, I politely pointed out the gray airplane flying away oblivious to the world. 4 guys in the damn aircraft and they wander right through a restricted area. I am now flying said aircraft. I am scared. Needless to say, I don't trust NFO's any farther than I can throw them.

I've seen confetti blow out the back of a T-45 after an approach plate got sucked down the engine after the pilot opened the canopy. A $1 million paper shredder.

Four experienced pilots do a 300' right hand break (bad idea) directly over the Commodore's building. Commodore was not amused.
Wait, what's a Commodore?
It's not a valid rank, is it?
The last time I heard of a Commodore, he was on a sailing ship wearing his hat sideways.
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Old 02-07-2006, 04:42 PM   #11
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this thread makes me feel safe
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Old 02-07-2006, 04:48 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by inchoate
this thread makes me feel safe
This is why military proving grounds are WAY out in the middle of nowhere.
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Old 02-07-2006, 04:49 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jpicheva
This is why military proving grounds are WAY out in the middle of nowhere.
thank god
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Old 02-07-2006, 04:51 PM   #14
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I was standing in formation at a long speech by an 8th AF vet when the girl next to me passed out; locked knees. She was cute, too.
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Old 02-07-2006, 04:52 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by poison
Owwhythe****ismycommandertacklingme??? Oh, yeah. Duck. That's right. *kicks self*.
You didn't duck the second time?
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Old 02-07-2006, 04:55 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper23
I've seen a single F/A-18 decide to break right over a division (4) of T-45's in El Centro. I was Dash-3 is said formation and almost shat myself when I saw numbnuts try to kill me.

Also in El Centro, after recovering off a bombing run, I was a tad surprised to see a EA-6B Prowler filling my windscreen. After wrapping the turn up and my IP wondering what the hell I was doing, I politely pointed out the gray airplane flying away oblivious to the world. 4 guys in the damn aircraft and they wander right through a restricted area. I am now flying said aircraft. I am scared. Needless to say, I don't trust NFO's any farther than I can throw them.

I've seen confetti blow out the back of a T-45 after an approach plate got sucked down the engine after the pilot opened the canopy. A $1 million paper shredder.

Four experienced pilots do a 300' right hand break (bad idea) directly over the Commodore's building. Commodore was not amused.
Outstanding I always suspected naval aviators had better training stories. Two good ones from teh Chair Force...

A ROTC cadet who does not speak English as a primary language was sent up for an orientation ride in a T-37. Cadet was briefed for several hours on safety and emergency procedures, including major emphasis on "BAILOUT BAILOUT BAILOUT" being the only acceptable command for launching your ass with the dynamite that comes installed OEM underneath the seats in a T-37. So, the IP and cadet taxi out to the runway and the IP says "Ready? Let's go!", and somehow cadet ishtforbrains interprets "let's go" as something else. Cadet punches a hole through the canopy and comes down, still in the seat, crashing through the tail of the aircraft. Resulted in one totalled T-37 and a broken ankle.

Another ROTC / T-37 story: Cadet and IP at Laughlin manage to get off the ground without ejecting (amazing) and proceed to designated f*ckaround airspace. Aerobatic maneuvers ensue. IP says "let's go for 6 G's! It's your airplane." Cadet accelerates to damn near Vmax, rolls 90 degrees and pulls back like he's trying to win a physical fitness medal. Aircraft enters accelerated stall while IP and cadet exit consciousness. They recover 10 seconds and 6000 feet lower, in Mexican airspace. Lessons learned: BDUs are piss-poor replacements for G-suits, and non fly by wire aircraft do not have built in G-limiters.
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Old 02-07-2006, 04:56 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by poison
I saw a cow that had been hit broadside by a LAW missile. It made a two foot hole in the cow. The cow sat there for weeks. It stank.

I saw a guy fire an RPG from the prone position. Instead of laying at a 45 degree angle from the line of fire, he lay inline with the RPG. He hit the trigger, guess what? 6 feet of flames shot out the back of the launch tube...over his ass and legs...yyyyoooowwwww, sizzle.

I saw myself standing in a trench learning to throw grenades. I was instructed to throw, verify that it landed where I intended visually (ie watch it until it lands, then duck). I threw, and as grenades are freaky stupid weapons, I ducked immediately. Tsk rsk, try again. Relax. Throw. Look. Duck. Yeah, great. I threw, and watched it fall, and slowly roll behind a rock. Cool. Hmm. Let meOwwhythe****ismycommandertacklingme??? Oh, yeah. Duck. That's right. *kicks self*

I saw my commander nonchalantly take a crap in a plastic bag 3 feet from my face. He then tied a knot in the bag, and handed it to me. I'm still not sure what that was about. something something leave no trace Yeah, I had to carry everyones crap out of the location.
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Old 02-07-2006, 04:57 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kartoffel
Outstanding I always suspected naval aviators had better training stories. Two good ones from teh Chair Force...

A ROTC cadet who does not speak English as a primary language was sent up for an orientation ride in a T-37. Cadet was briefed for several hours on safety and emergency procedures, including major emphasis on "BAILOUT BAILOUT BAILOUT" being the only acceptable command for launching your ass with the dynamite that comes installed OEM underneath the seats in a T-37. So, the IP and cadet taxi out to the runway and the IP says "Ready? Let's go!", and somehow cadet ishtforbrains interprets "let's go" as something else. Cadet punches a hole through the canopy and comes down, still in the seat, crashing through the tail of the aircraft. Resulted in one totalled T-37 and a broken ankle.

Another ROTC / T-37 story: Cadet and IP manage to get off the ground without ejecting (amazing) and proceed to designated f*ckaround airspace. Aerobatic maneuvers ensue. IP asks says "let's go for 6 G's! Your airplane." Cadet accelerates to damn near Vmax, rolls 90 degrees and pulls back like he's trying to win a physical fitness medal. Aircraft enters accelerated stall simultaneously as IP and cadet exit consciousness. They recover 10 seconds and 6000 feet lower, in Mexican airspace. Lessons learned: BDUs are piss-poor replacements for G-suits, and non fly by wire aircraft do not have built in G-limiters.
Awesome - more pilot stories! Stat.
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Old 02-07-2006, 05:00 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Asinine
You didn't duck the second time?

Well, he told me to take my time.

Most people get a bit unsettled when they're learning to throw those things.
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Old 02-07-2006, 05:00 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jpicheva
Awesome - more pilot stories! Stat.


"Unauthouized [sic] fly-by taken from USS Stennis. Pilot was grounded for 30 days."
http://www.falconpride.com/scrapbook/misc

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Old 02-07-2006, 05:02 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janq


"Unauthouized [sic] fly-by taken from USS Stennis. Pilot was grounded for 30 days."
http://www.falconpride.com/scrapbook/misc

- Janq
Woah!

IBYou'reego'swritin'checksyou'rebodycan'tcash.
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Old 02-07-2006, 05:03 PM   #22
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Whaaahaaahaa, OMG, Janq!!!
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Old 02-07-2006, 05:03 PM   #23
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^ wow.
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Old 02-07-2006, 05:04 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jpicheva
Awesome - more pilot stories! Stat.
OK, got one more:

A group of ASCANs (astronaut candidates) were about to for their first ride in the vomit comet. It's standard operating procedure to give everybody a big capsule containing several smaller pills - a combination that contains anti-nausea plus stimulant to offset the sedative effect of the nausea drug. A certain ASCAN decided that he didn't want to go through the training totally wired and figured the sedative effect of the anti-nausea drug would not be so bad, so he opened up the capsule and threw out one of the two smaller pills inside, then ate the other one. He puked his guts out, but was WIDE AWAKE for the whole ride.
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Old 02-07-2006, 05:06 PM   #25
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- Janq
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