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Old 02-10-2006, 07:35 AM   #1
Handsdown
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Default Wrote an email to someone- need opinions...

okay... i had a bad experience with someone from one of my classes and i wrote them a long letter to explain my treatment of them.

i wrote it after being up all night and getting a knock on my door early in the morning(before 4am)... actually it wasn't a knock but instead it was someone trying the knob to see if they could get in. it couldn't have been a mistake because i'm a corner room and they went downstairs, it's impossible to mistake my room for someone else's.

I will **** anyone up who attempts to come into my room uninvited at 3:40am. any other time and i'll be as hospitable and understanding as i can, but at 3:40 i'm going to have to assume you're up to no good.


so- i'm submitting this edited version(all people and places removed) to the almighty OT because i feel that if just one person actually gets through the whole thing and has something useful to say about it, it might help me handle future situations when i'm trying to resolve conflicts.

i had been up all night, and there are several grammer, syntax, and spelling errors. yes i'm an english major, no i don't care, **** happens, and **** is abundant when you're up as late as i am now.






so anyway, here's the letter:
Quote:
Originally Posted by me via email to a dude
XXXX,

It's XXXXX from XXXXXXXXX. I rejected your friend request on facebook a week or so ago, and ever since have been wanting to talk to you about why I do not return your friendliness in class and online. Unfortunately, you creep the **** out of me(for good reason, I'll address why later) and talking to you about it is neccessary if we are going to continue to interact in class, especially if you're going to question me about my possessions or activities.

By all means, either read this whole letter or don't read any of it, and instead just tell me you didn't read it and I will spell it out to you face-to-face next class period.

I don't know how you'll take this, so forgive me for writing this in an email, but I have had very little interaction with you outside of class, and what interaction I have had with you has been incredibly negative interaction.

I should pretense this by saying that your personality is not wholly offensive and I have no doubts that you mean well in your social interactions. Subsequently, I think your art is inspired and valuable, and respect you as an artist and student. The reason I am even writing this, is because I feel you deserve an explaination of my behavior because of your good intention and talent.

Please don't see this as an attack concerning any type of social stigma, like me being a 'prep' or a 'geek' or a 'jock' or a 'punk' or a 'country boy' and having animocity towards you in any type of social context, because that is not what this is about. Inconsequently, I am none of the aforementioned things.

I also would like to inform you that sexual orientation, grooming habits, lifestyle choice and substance use or abuse do not play into this at all either. I'm accepting of people's behavior as long as it's responsible and unharmful, and believe me, my interpretation of those words is very liberal. I believe if someone wants to snort crack and give a girl X at a club, he should be able to without immediate criminal charges or much negative consequence.

I've stalled long enough:



****- WHAT THE **** MAN?

the first time you addressed me directly, you were drinking a beer, in a parking lot here on campus, with your dick hanging out of your pants. You asked me and my friends "hey guys, wanna suck?!?" and smoked some of your cigarette.

I don't know what state of mind you were in, what substances you were under the influence of, or if you have recollection of that event. But take the time to really reflect on that. You exposed yourself publically to someone (three people actually) who doesn't know you, doesn't like you and doesn't respect you any more than he respects a random stranger on the street.
You also verbally made a suggestion that you wanted Oral sex. I don't give a **** how great oral sex is in some contexts, it's ****ing nasty if there's strangers involved.

Reflected on it? Good. I have more to say.

Forgive me for saying this, but if I was 220lbs and homophobic, I would have beaten the **** out of you.

However; I'm not violent, strong or homophobic. You should consider yourself lucky, because even three nonviolent, weak homophobes could cause permenant damage if they were so inclined. Let me explain to you why I'm still mad-

Displaying your genitalia, whether sober or not, to people who do not consent to see it is ****ing gross. Notice there is no qualification of gender in that statement.

Not only is it ****ing gross, it's sexual assault. If my friends an I had been girls, you probably wouldn't have done it- but if you had, those girls could have put criminal charges on your ass, and would have been 100% justified in doing so. If you don't agree with that, you're a ****ing spineless, heartless little ****er and you really do deserve the animocity and disrespect I've afforded you.

Still, I think you mean well- So here's my personal viewpoint on the situation- guess what- it doesn't matter who you're doing it to, it's sexual assault anyway. I don't want to call you names or disrespect you, but first impressions go a long way, and my first impression of you is not favorable. Act like that again and I'll be forced to think that you're a dangerously stupid, ignorantly callous, selfishly offensive, dispicably perverse, and unresponsibly ****ed up little kid.

Now I know that you were probably high or drunk or both- but that's no excuse.

And I know that you probably have dealt with a lot of **** people might have given you for being different over your life- but that's no excuse either.

And I know that it was only one incident that shouldn't be the sole judgement of your character or worth- but your persona and personality don't afford too much in the way of 'second chances', especially when you don't seem to feel regret for getting that ****ed up.

If you're going to not wear shoes, don't be surprised when people find your feet offensive. That's not anti-hippie discrimination, it's common sense.

If you're going to assume I do drugs(which I don't, I only drink occasionally and for the most part am very responsible, as in I don't commit sexual assault), don't be surprised when I disdain you for your incorrect assumption and false self-righteous self-promotion therein.

If you're going to push facebook friendships with people that you aren't sure have any interest in interacting with you, don't be surprised when they deliver you an ultimatum.


I have talked to others about your actions and feel a need to tell you this-

Either:
make a concious effort to be more responsible in your actions, especially when you're drinking or doing drugs, and be sure to think about the possibility that your interaction might not be appropriate or welcomed, even here on XXXX campus by people who seem to be 'your crowd.' If you don't know someone very well, for ****'s sake keep your flacid penis inside your pants before you get your ass kicked. Don't be more reserved in acceptable social interaction, just don't invade people's privacy when you're not invited.

Or:
Stay the **** away from me before I involve administration. That's not a threat, that's a request from someone who finds you creepy as **** and particularly scary.



Lastly, on a related note, this might help to explain my tone today when I corrected your terminology about my "digicam". I apologize for my condecending and prissy tone, but I devoted an entire month's paycheck(50 HOURS of work) as well as EVERY christmas present from my extended family towards this entry level camera, and while it took a lot for me to afford it(the cheapest of its class), I am very proud and grateful that I was able to aquire it and I feel that it deserves to be called a Camera, not a 'digicam.' While my tone was partially because of my apprehension and distrust of you due to how ****ing creepy you can be, it was not warranted and I apologize for being a jerk just because you asked about my camera.

You should know that while I'm a nonviolent and mild person, I am also fairly undisciplined, emotional, and protective over things I care about. People I care about will compell me to become protective and possibly angry if I feel they are threatend, and to a somewhat lesser extent, I am protective of cameras and posessions as well. This letter was very long and I did not mean it to be offensive, but I thank you for reading it and hope that it is less of a reprimanding attack and more of an explaination as to why I have not been choosing to be familiar with you.


Don't mistake me, this is not an attempt to patch up a negative experience- I don't want to be your friend. I would, however, be more than willing to be civil, cordial and kind to you during class and in other social interactions that my duties here on campus require me to attend. I want to respect you as an artist, student, and fellow XXXXX, so if you wish the same, take what I've said seriously.

If you have anything to say, reply to this email or call me at xxxxxxxxxx. I'm giving you the weekend to read about it and think it over, but if I don't hear from you you can expect to hear from me in class. Also, don't call at inappropriate times- I've had problems with people attempting to contact me at odd and disrespectful hours.

Don't ever show me your penis again, drunk or not.
Sincerely,

me
CN= There are none. Either you read this or you don't. It has to do with male on male sexual assault.
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Old 02-10-2006, 07:43 AM   #2
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um, if that had been me, and that dude had done that to me, he would have been scraping himself off of the parking lot.

Screw that dude, either report his gay ass to the campus popo, or beat the ever lovin **** out of him.
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Old 02-10-2006, 07:43 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunch
You're a ****ing idiot.

If he's actually bothering you, file a ****ing restraining order. Dick, drugs or whatever....

I agree


and, pretense should be 'preface' :P
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Old 02-10-2006, 07:44 AM   #4
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Well at least you didn't make a big deal out of it.
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Old 02-10-2006, 07:45 AM   #5
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OT, you're so dead on
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Old 02-10-2006, 07:45 AM   #6
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why even bother with him? if he makes another comment, just ignore it and ask the professor to switch you to another group!

stay clear from the dude, inform police or whatever, you dont want to be at some party, get messed up, and wake up with him on top!
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Old 02-10-2006, 07:46 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Handsdown


OT, you're so dead on
NINJA edit! , Well, I dont remember what you had posted before now.

true, thats why he should just take matters into his own hands.
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Old 02-10-2006, 07:46 AM   #8
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i don't go to those kind of parties
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Old 02-10-2006, 07:47 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ADIDAS
true, thats why he should just take matters into his own hands.
owned by the ninja edit!

i had originally said that there are more dangerous people for the police to keep an eye on than this clown, and that restraining orders don't do **** until after the fact.
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Old 02-10-2006, 07:52 AM   #10
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this is college, no one goes to jail for more than a night.

he wouldn't have even remembered jail the next day.

also, this was fall, i didn't have a class with him then. it's just since he's been talking to me in class that he's been bugging me.
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Old 02-10-2006, 07:53 AM   #11
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Hire that 13 year old from the Mall as your own personal security force.

If he's bugging you in class, just call him out, in the middle of class. Hell, interrupt the professor! Just say in a loud voice, "No, I don't want to suck your dick tonight, so stop asking!"
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Old 02-10-2006, 07:54 AM   #12
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that's across the country, i don't think he'd be willing to relocate
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Old 02-10-2006, 07:55 AM   #13
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That's a ton of work for some dude you'll deal with for the rest of the semester and move on.

If that would have happened to me (the dick show), I would have told him he was a sick ****, and when he was in class with me, I'd tell him to get the **** away from me. No beating around the bush, no 3 page essay.
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Old 02-10-2006, 07:58 AM   #14
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yeah, well **** it. i'm not doing anything better with my time.
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Old 02-10-2006, 07:59 AM   #15
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So, why are you and him breaking up? I'm guessing the parking lot escapades were a one way deal without reciprocation. I'm sure you at least expected a handjob after giving him a blowjob.
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Old 02-10-2006, 08:02 AM   #16
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*** is wrong with you?
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Old 02-10-2006, 08:02 AM   #17
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I'm having a hard time not laughing at you right now for that letter.


Whining cause you saw a penis...ANd FACEBOOK DRAMA? I mean what the hell.



anyways, maybe he is truly creepy and these were just reasons for you to make him feel bad. Either way I'm laughing.
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Old 02-10-2006, 08:05 AM   #18
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"I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would **** a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you. "

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Old 02-10-2006, 08:05 AM   #19
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-----So what makes you think that he remembers you????
i addressed that in the letter.

--------*** is wrong with you?
i'd rather write a 4 page essay than beat the **** out of someone. if that's wrong i don't want to be right

--------I'm having a hard time not laughing at you right now for that letter
laugh away! that's another reason i posted it. i didn't want him to feel bad but i didn't feel like being a prick to him just because of something he probably doesn't remember.
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Old 02-10-2006, 08:08 AM   #20
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Wow, save the drama for your mama...and high school. Just ignore him son.
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Old 02-10-2006, 08:09 AM   #21
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yeah i was ignoring him but then i talked to a girl in the same class and she told me he did something creepy to her. that's when i figured i'd talk the the kid and let him know he needs to chill out on the drinking and unwelcome interaction.
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Old 02-10-2006, 08:10 AM   #22
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4 page essay, or physical violence? Those are your only options?

Oh, and you should really try to highlight how weak, scared, and freaked out you are by him. That'll get him to lay off.
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Old 02-10-2006, 08:11 AM   #23
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Is this going to be trucker hat thread #2?


I suppose it depends on the attention span of OT to read any of the letter, and in that context the answer is probably no.
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Old 02-10-2006, 08:12 AM   #24
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*breathe*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



What are you, a ****ing 13yo girl? Are you going to print this out and pass it to him as a note in class?

Grow the **** up. If he's a pest, ignore him or force him to go away. If he's more than a pest, get a restraining order. Period. Done.
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Old 02-10-2006, 08:13 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StriderTB
4 page essay, or physical violence? Those are your only options?

Oh, and you should really try to highlight how weak, scared, and freaked out you are by him. That'll get him to lay off.
he's not out to harass, it was a single incident.

and he hasn't harrassed me repeatedly, just once. this is explaination
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