I would suggest you read more, or someone will inform as to who the bigger idiot is (hint: it isn't either of the two people in your list
OK, J-Rex2004 posted the answer to your question with:
1) The difference is in the tuner, not the UTEC/AP/ECUTek
Let's help with some definitions, although I might have to ask Unabomber to add these to his FAQ:
1. AccessPORT is a device from Cobb Tuning. It is used to store maps and upload them to your vehicle's ECU. It comes with maps that are designed to the least common denominator vehicle. So, if you use one of their maps, you might be able to use a more aggressive tune while someone else would have problems run a tune similar to yours. This is why you get your vehicle tuned, to get the most out of your combination of parts.
2. StreetTUNER is an application from Cobb Tuning. It allows you to control most of the functions of the ECU and tune your own vehicle. This will let you modify most existing maps (in StreetTUNER format) and lets you trade maps with other StreetTUNER users. At first, the app was somewhat restricted to what it could tune but is getting more abilities with each release.
3. ProTUNER is an application from Cobb Tuning. It is only available to professional tuners at this time. This app will control anything that Cobb can get into with the ECU. This app controls more than what StreetTUNER can. You can have your tuner save the maps in either ProTUNER or StreetTUNER formats (ST formats can be edited by ST users), but either style can be stored in your AP/home computer for use in your car.
4. The SF Intake is a Short-Ram style intake made by Cobb. It is made for people that like hearing the sound of the turbo or those that use FMICs that need an alternate intake design. Cobb has stated that for the vast amount of people this will not present any HP gain. Cobb has also stated that it is for people that want/need this style of intake, and that it will not lean out the car or make the ECU go nuts with wacky MAF sensor signals. In addition, it can be used on stock cars and/or cars with their APs. It can be used in direct replacement of the stock intake without any loss (and probably no gain either).
5. The Cobb AP uses Base Maps and Realtime Maps. A Base Map contains everything that a Realtime Map does (ignition, fueling, boost, etc.) plus other logic such as CEL defeats, CL/OL delay, etc. A Base Map contains the most logic needed for some things, but takes the longest to flash and cuts into the lifespan of the main flash memory modules. The Realtime Map contains less logic, but is quickly switchable and doesn't "use up" the main flash memory modules with the writes/rewrites.
6. The EcuTek flash uses a main map (ignition, fueling, boost, etc.) and is very similar to, if not the same as, a Base Map. It also contains info for CL/OL delay and CEL defeats. The EcuTek can also carry another boost profile, which only contains boost settings and is selectable by the driver provided he or she is using an 02/03 ECU.
Points to consider:
1. While the EcuTek flash has the main map and support for an alternate boost profile with 02/03 ECUs, the AP supports 10 full maps that control many more functions as listed above.
2. The Cobb AP currently permits user-tuned maps to be loaded. These maps are done in StreetTUNER. EcuTek provides some limited user tuning via Delta Dash, but it looks more like limit adjustment rather than cell adjustment (no, I don't have DD but this is what I could tell from their website). They are looking to expand this ability, but I don't know when that will be coming.
3. ProTUNER and EcuTek flashes can accomplish the same things, just using different methods. If you get a tuner that is really good, he or she could get you the same great tune with either application. However, tuners have stated that they can do it faster with ProTUNER than EcuTek (I would imagine this is because of the flashing process used in EcuTek, and they might be tweaking a RT map during dyno/road tuning and then merge the settings into a new Base Map).
4. No, Cobb didn't kick your dog. I was there, and it was the neighbor's kids. Oh, and don't go too quickly into your shed, they have a surprise for you.
5. No, Cobb didn't steal your girl away from you. I was there, and, well that's all I'll say...
Hope this clears this up. I have read all of this (except 4 and 5, as that was personal experience) at the Cobb website, their forum (Cobb posts), and here.