No free WiFi at polling place.
- Can't find pants.
- "Boy Meets World" marathon JUST started on cable.
- Already voted on "The X Factor." Isn't that enough?
- That one mean squirrel outside looks like he's just waiting to start a fight.
- There's no open bar. - David Barner
- Too fat to fit in the booth. - Anthony Bondi
- My rascal is out of batteries. - Ryan McKay
- Afraid it would come off as pretentious. - Paul Bond
- My car elevator got stuck. - Nick Walmer
- Desmond says that if I donít enter the sequence every 108 minutes, the world will end. - @CPin42
- Not my fault Election Day and Endless Shrimp days at Red Lobster overlap. - @LumanTyler
- Waiting to see who is going to win; who wants to vote for a LOSER? - @NickBrommer
- Already told the Freemasons who to secretly elect. - @AndiPalmur
- Ballot TL;DR. - @BastardMornings
- I can't leave the house because I'm on a mine-sweeper hot streak. - Doobs Page
- I thought this election was only for people living in Ohio. - Deena Nyer Mendlowitz
- I thought they only needed 270 votes to win. - Josh Fields
- I plan to be convicted of a felony in the next four years. I want to stay honest and fair to the rules. - Peter James Crowell
- I'm Canadian. - Lacy Lawson