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Old 01-23-2013, 12:08 PM   #614
Scooby Newbie
Member#: 293504
Join Date: Sep 2011
Chapter/Region: South East
Location: West Palm Beach, FL
2011 WRX


Originally Posted by Crazy_pilot View Post
99 Ford Taurus wagon. Hand me down car from my parents that I beat the snot out of for a good 4 years until I passed it on to my brother. We junked it when the body started to split in half. Problems with the car:

-Radio stopped working. Used a walkman CD player and computer speakers for music.
-Windows could only be controlled by driver's door. Window lock button probably stuck internally.
-Rear seatbelts jammed in fully retracted position.
-Rear door handles would stick open and the doors would not latch. Combine this with the above seatbelt issue and you get people nearly flying out of the car around corners on a few occasions.
-Parking brake would seize on if used. Disconnected cable to prevent this occuring.
-Put new labels on climate control heat knob saying "cold" and "less cold". Windshield defrost/defog was almost completely useless.
-Trunk struts were only strong enough to hold the tailgate open for an indeterminate short amount of time. After this they would suddenly fail with no warning. Tailgate weighed at least 70 lbs and despite the rust felt very solid when it landed on your back.
-Floor had circles painted to show "safe zones" for feet. Excessive pressure in non-safe zones would result in Fred Flintstone driving.
-Fuel tank started leaking around the weld if filled more than half way. I actually fixed this one.

Despite all this the old beast never once let me down. It would start flawlessly on -45 mornings in January without a block heater and was somehow able to haul itself through any amount of snow even without proper tires. It never really had any maintenance work (oil changes were sort of an annual thing. Maybe.). Never failed an emissions test. Survived my brother sending it into a 7 foot deep ditch, minus a tire. I do miss the old wagon on occasion. Had more sex in the back of that thing than in my bed when I was 17.
I had a 93 Taurus wagon and I swear you just told my cars story. This car was legendary where I grew up. It was always known for good times and trouble lol. I jumped it off of small hills. Ran into stuff. Car was fueled by illegal substances at times. Like you said plenty of room in the back....Beat it to death. Used it as a snowplow. It never once died on me. I handed it on to a good friend that really needed a car around 180k miles. Was still going strong. It's probably at the bottom of the Atlantic now somewhere
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