Originally Posted by jhmr
Passive aggressive: "Expressing aggression in non-assertive, subtle (that is, passive or indirect) ways."
Aggression: "Readiness to attack or confront."
Writing a note when somebody else bothers you, displays a readiness to confront the individual about the problem in a non-assertive subtle manner. It's a means through which you can tell someone something they don't want to hear (although it may be necessary) while simultaneously robbing them of the ability to tell their side of the story. It's unfair. There's something wrong when two adults cannot have a normal discussion that brings these issues to light in order to figure out a compromise. There doesn't need to be a conflict. In my opinion notes are just as disrespectful as having a loud exhaust. You're making a demand, not trying to meet half-way. That is way meaner than what I propose. Maybe I'm a jerk, but at least I know I am. Continue hiding behind your polite notes and keep telling yourself that you're a "good" person if it makes you feel better.
Thanks for playing.
The note was NOT subtle or non-assertive. It was direct and to the point.
There is no "side of the story" to be told. The car was loud and waking people up at pre-dawn hours. He does not have a tale to tell of his car woes. That's it.
Sorry, but you're just wrong.
YOU want a dialogue. Great for you! Good luck with that. Not everything gets to be argued in open court. Sometimes you just have to take the criticism and deal with it, not jump up on your horse and defend your own honor.