It’s June, and this is what grinds my gears…
1) Bros, brodawg, brosefs…
Yes, you still get on my ****ing nerves.
2) That older person in the back/front my class
It’s either the VERY front, or the VERY back. Either way, you are loud and opinionated. No matter what I say, since you are old and decrepit, you think your views supersede mine. Every comment you make in class starts with a story, and always ends with nonsense rambling. Shut the **** up already.
3) Artsy coffee shop people
We get it; you are an independent-indie artsy pile of ****. Its ok, I did not fail to see the poems, lyrics, drawings, and intellectual bull**** fall out of your ass as you walked by. Now pick them up and leave me alone. You are a modern day hippy and every normal person makes fun of you. Except some of those hawt artsy chicks, which are just dandy with me.
4) McDonalds
The one time I decide to disregard my personal health and eat at your fine restaurant I have to wait for 20 minutes in the drive through while 5’2 350lb Debbie orders her abundance of $1 items. I get my food, and it’s just as I knew it would be; disgusting, half-assed and tasteless. However, you make a fine iced coffee, which I commend you for.
5) Microbrew Drinkers
Don't get me wrong, I love myself some microbrews, but I do not respect you for the $8.99/6pack bull**** you buy. That’s fine, drink your beer that scarce beer that was brewed by a wild herd of rabid sea otters in a remote location on the southern pacific. It tastes like ****, and I hope you die of dysentery.