Went through the same bs.. but I was with my ex for 9 years.. married for 4 years. divorced in 2009. I got served right before Xmas.. Didn't expect it to happen.. =) Yeah it was a bummer.. but I just thought positive and moved on. I lost 90% of all of my own belongings because I didn't bother to go back to get them, and I didn't wanna deal with legal battles.. so I just let everything go except my motorcycle, and my car which later I traded in for my wrx.. awesome.. I"m happy where I'm at without her..
If at the time I was smart enough, I'd get me a lawyer and get all my personal belongings back peacefully without the PMS rage..
So seek legal advice!