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Old 10-07-2008, 02:42 PM   #1
dr_wheel
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Default IRS: Income tax refunds will pay for bailout

The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) announced today that American taxpayers will not receive income tax refunds next year after filing their tax returns, and said that the money will instead be used to fund the Wall Street bailout package Congress is currently debating.

IRS spokesman Ben Dover said that the agency was instructed by the Federal Reserve Banks to keep the 2008 tax refunds.

“We feel the American people are willing to accept the news that they will not receive a tax refund next year,” Dover told reporters. “After all, they’ve accepted and went along with the outsourcing of American jobs, declining wages, disappearing benefits, no retirement, declining housing prices, foreclosed homes, inflation, high energy prices, usury interest rates on credit cards, loss of individual freedoms and incessant wars. It would be hypocritical of them if they didn’t go along with this as well.”

The 12 U.S. central banks that make up the “Federal Reserve” are private banks. The function of the Federal Reserve is to unconstitutionally issue the nation’s currency and then charge Americans interest for borrowing it. They gained this ability in 1913 after purchasing members of Congress during the Christmas recess; the Congressmen then passed not only the Federal Reserve Act authorizing the Federal Reserve System, but also the federal income tax. The tax was needed to support the federal government’s borrowing of money from the Federal Reserve Banks, because Congress could no longer issue currency as required by the U.S. Constitution. The job of the IRS is to confiscate wages from American workers to support the current banking scheme.

Meanwhile, Congress and the Bush administration are working together this week to craft the bailout bill. A separate bailout bill for American homeowners, called “Let Them Eat Cake,” mandates that some of the Wall Street bailout money be used to purchase chocolate cakes for taxpayers in celebration of the success of American capitalism.

http://sirsatire.wordpress.com/2008/...y-for-bailout/

This way we can weed out the morons. :-)
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:44 PM   #2
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Hahaha... right.

That's about as real as Batboy... people will just claim 8 dependants, and OWE money, then.
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:44 PM   #3
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I hope this is a joke...
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:44 PM   #4
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*logs into payroll system, bumps up allowances to 8*
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:44 PM   #5
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so THAT'S what's paying for this;

http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/story?id=5973452&page=1



******Less than a week after the federal government committed $85 billion to bail out AIG, executives of the giant AIG insurance company headed for a week-long retreat at a luxury resort and spa, the St. Regis Resort in Monarch Beach, California, Congressional investigators revealed today.

The St. Regis Resort in Monarch Beach, California, was the site of a week-long luxury retreat for executives of the AIG insurance company, who headed there less than a week after the federal government committed $85 billion to bail out the company.
(ABC News Photo Illustration)"Rooms at this resort can cost over $1,000 a night," Congressman Henry Waxman (D-CA) said this morning as his committee continued its investigation of Wall Street and its CEOs.

AIG documents obtained by Waxman's investigators show the company paid more than $440,000 for the retreat, including nearly $200,000 for rooms, $150,000 for meals and $23,000 in spa charges.

"Their getting their pedicures and their manicures and the American people are paying for that," said Cong. Elijah Cummings (D-MD).
******
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:44 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WRXGuyInUSA View Post
Hahaha... right.

That's about as real as Batboy... people will just claim 8 dependants, and OWE money, then.
According to the IRS, if you owe income tax money for the year 2008 you will be required to pay double in support of the bailout.
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:45 PM   #7
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not even remotely funny or believable
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:45 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dr_wheel View Post
According to the IRS, if you owe income tax money for the year 2008 you will be required to pay double in support of the bailout.
Uhhh huuuhh... OK, sir satire...
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:46 PM   #9
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not even remotely funny or believable
Really? I thought it was hilarious.
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:47 PM   #10
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the word 'satire' in your link does not help your cause...
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:48 PM   #11
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oh that figures. How else can they screw the small people.
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:48 PM   #12
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It actually is true. Taxes will have to be raised at some point to pay for this -- not until after the election of course -- but the "bailout" will undoubtedly increase what we pay in federal income tax.
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:48 PM   #13
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something something Ben Dover.....and satire in link title.....
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:49 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dr_wheel View Post
Really? I thought it was hilarious.
IRS spokesman "Ben Dover" agrees with you. The comments on the page are great too. We, the American people, are stupid.

edit: I still want my chocolate cake.

Lots of broken satire meters in here today.
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:49 PM   #15
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damn fat fingers

"they're getting their pedicures and their manicures and the American people are paying for that," said Cong. Elijah Cummings (D-MD).
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:53 PM   #16
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ha!

im sure it will happen...the messicans got it right by working under the table
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:56 PM   #17
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They might not confiscate the refunds but everything else in the report is true. The Fedaral Reserve and the IRS are unconstitutional.
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:58 PM   #18
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Read my lips .. no more taxes!
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Old 10-07-2008, 03:02 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SkirtBoy View Post
Read my lips .. no new taxes!
Fixed. that is if you are trying to quote Bush Sr.

and of course..... he was full of **** when making that statement.
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Old 10-07-2008, 03:54 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1 Lucky Texan View Post
so THAT'S what's paying for this;

http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/story?id=5973452&page=1



******Less than a week after the federal government committed $85 billion to bail out AIG, executives of the giant AIG insurance company headed for a week-long retreat at a luxury resort and spa, the St. Regis Resort in Monarch Beach, California, Congressional investigators revealed today.

The St. Regis Resort in Monarch Beach, California, was the site of a week-long luxury retreat for executives of the AIG insurance company, who headed there less than a week after the federal government committed $85 billion to bail out the company.
(ABC News Photo Illustration)"Rooms at this resort can cost over $1,000 a night," Congressman Henry Waxman (D-CA) said this morning as his committee continued its investigation of Wall Street and its CEOs.

AIG documents obtained by Waxman's investigators show the company paid more than $440,000 for the retreat, including nearly $200,000 for rooms, $150,000 for meals and $23,000 in spa charges.

"Their getting their pedicures and their manicures and the American people are paying for that," said Cong. Elijah Cummings (D-MD).
******
You realize most of those expenses were probably committed well in advance, right? You can't just cancel something like this at the last minute and not be charged anything.
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Old 10-07-2008, 04:07 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Wevrick View Post
You realize most of those expenses were probably committed well in advance, right? You can't just cancel something like this at the last minute and not be charged anything.
plus, it's probably a regular thing for them too. I still would rather those expenses didn't come from the 'subsidy' column - sigh - they will however.

just fueling the satire-fire a little.



;^)


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Old 10-07-2008, 04:12 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Wevrick View Post
You realize most of those expenses were probably committed well in advance, right? You can't just cancel something like this at the last minute and not be charged anything.
Yeah, but from a PR standpoint, you still drop the event and take the smaller loss on whatever is non-refundable.

The point is, AIG doesn't five a **** about the public's perception of them any longer.
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Old 10-07-2008, 04:19 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plunk10 View Post
Fixed. that is if you are trying to quote Bush Sr.

and of course..... he was full of **** when making that statement.
Nah, he didn't lie. He didn't create any new taxes, he just upped the ones that were already in place.
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