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Old 08-15-2007, 02:51 PM   #1
Cosworth
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08 Taco, 98 M3/4/5
'00 RC51, '08 KTM

Default An Open Letter to the guys that soil the rim of the urinal

Hooray for you. Seriously. Urine, goobers, partially chewed skittles and whatever else you happen to have at your disposal especially the long pubes from the dirty old disco yeti that works down the shipping.

Hooray also for all the self concious stall-humpers that 'crowd the plate' when they take a piss because I know that when they step away, they'll have "urinal line" on thier trousers. I don't feel bad because at point blank range, there's a multitude of other dangers ranging from "trouser-speckle" from the spashback to absurdly large crabs snipping holes in your pant legs (again from the loading dock yeti).

Lastly, if you made the mistake of wearing sandals with your polyester Kmart trousers and ratty, pit-stained generic "product release" freebie white t-shirt, i wouldn't dare to verbally scold you for such a colossal fashion blunder that even Weird Al would know not to do. No, that would be far too vein. However, don't get mad when some of the urinal spashback sprinkles on your nasty terminally fungus-ridden toenails that are strangely encroaching on my urinal space because you have 5 foot wide "urinal-style kung-fu" stance to get that last 1 millimeter closer to the porcelain.


braaa-sillll!
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Old 08-15-2007, 02:55 PM   #2
Strider
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an inconvenience,
properly considered.

Default

Tell it like it is, Tuttle!
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Old 08-15-2007, 02:57 PM   #3
DrDRum
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Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: Restless Genital Syndrome
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Suff erer Club
Founder (RGSSC)

Default

WTF is up with brazillll?

DRum
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Old 08-15-2007, 02:57 PM   #4
subydude
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2000 2.5 Auto-X RSTi
Dusty

Default

PMS much??

Just follow the man laws for urinal usage and you're good. If you're not that close to it you don't have to worry.

Personally I'm more worried about the grown men who like to drop their pants a full 8 inches so their ass is hanging out
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Old 08-15-2007, 02:57 PM   #5
Strider
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrDRum View Post
WTF is up with brazillll?

DRum
You missed it last night.
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Old 08-15-2007, 02:59 PM   #6
Cosworth
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08 Taco, 98 M3/4/5
'00 RC51, '08 KTM

Default

I'm not complaining! This is a shout out to the heathens since it makes the hilarious urinal humpers suffer even more when the stall is one stain away from a superfund site!
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Old 08-15-2007, 02:59 PM   #7
BacDoc
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Default

I went into the restrooms at a Target last night. I'm still in shock at what I saw. It looked like a baboon was let loose in one of the stalls.
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:00 PM   #8
DrDRum
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Location: Restless Genital Syndrome
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by StriderTB View Post
You missed it last night.
I guess
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:02 PM   #9
El Camino
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the floor everybody
walk the dinosaur

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what i don't get is why every gottdamn urinal in the 2nd floor bathroom has a ****ing piss puddle in front of it.
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:03 PM   #10
rogue
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100% Abuse

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BacDoc View Post
I went into the restrooms at a Target last night. I'm still in shock at what I saw. It looked like a baboon was let loose in one of the stalls.
When I worked at CarMax I once saw a toilet stall with **** from the floor up to about a 6 foot height on the wall.

I just ran away.
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:20 PM   #11
BacDoc
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rogue View Post
When I worked at CarMax I once saw a toilet stall with **** from the floor up to about a 6 foot height on the wall.

I just ran away.
Well that image you have in your head manifested itself at a Target store near Charleston WV last night.
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:25 PM   #12
TheDocta
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blue/black

Default

cosworth > SBW
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:27 PM   #13
2K1 Carbon Blue
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Default

vain.
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:30 PM   #14
SBW
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07 LGT spec-b
Crystal Grey Metallic

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDocta View Post
cosworth > SBW


edit: I will punish you with my high-pressure piss stream mother****ers!
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:39 PM   #15
Howl
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