Open Letter From God, Re: Recent Tsunami

Asinine · 12-30-2004, 03:53 PM

Dear Children,

My children, my flesh, my blood; this week you have seen my wrath on the shores of your lands and at the doorstep of your homes. I have brought the depths of the seas upon you so that you may know my presence. Know, my flock, that there is reason in my anger--justice in my judgement.

So I say unto you, my lambs... suck it. Suck it hard. I've been telling you people for AGES to stop screwing around. But you just don't listen. I gave you fair warning with the hurricanes in the Atlantic. But noooo you had to go on with the killing, the car bombings, the assassinations, the air strikes.

How many dark-skinned people do I have to kill before you people start paying attention? Ask any Haitian or Dominican if I'm screwing around. The answer, bitches, is no..

I swear, if you peckerheads in Dar Al Islam and the rest of Africa don't stop with the ethnic cleansing bull****, I am going to visit a ****storm on you people like you would not believe. I swear to Me I'll start dropping frogs and goat heads and car batteries out of the sky on you people. Apparently I was too merciful with the ebola and the malaria (I can't take credit for AIDS, that was Hitler).

Look, this is your FINAL warning. You have 2005 to straighten up or I'm going to start ripping continents right off the face of the earth starting with... either Asia or Africa--I haven't decided yet. Yes North America, you will get yours.

Sincerely,

GOD

* Registered users of the site do not see these ads.

TheRex · 12-30-2004, 03:54 PM

not funny.

mlambert · 12-30-2004, 03:54 PM

wow..

race hate much there god?

WRXedUSA · 12-30-2004, 03:55 PM

**golf clap** i think?

Asinine · 12-30-2004, 03:56 PM

"race hate?" Apparently you haven't quite noticed that third world countries have inadequate warning for these tpes of events and therefore get the short end of the stick in this arena?

skrib09 · 12-30-2004, 03:56 PM

god doesn't exist.

IBreligiousdebate,etc.

TheRex · 12-30-2004, 03:57 PM

to your whole thread. it's awfully insensitive.

trhoppe · 12-30-2004, 03:58 PM

"I swear to Me"

Only funny part of that letter

-Tom

Grap · 12-30-2004, 03:58 PM

I laughed

AttaQ · 12-30-2004, 03:58 PM

IBTL

Calebz · 12-30-2004, 03:58 PM

Guess I'm just gonna burn.. Thats funnier than hell

Asinine · 12-30-2004, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheRex

to your whole thread. it's awfully insensitive.

You already said "not funny." Leave it at that.

Apparently you missed the Reuters article in which religious leaders (and those of faith) around the world are trying to figure out, not if, but why God did this to them in particular.

Calebz · 12-30-2004, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheRex

to your whole thread. it's awfully insensitive.

OMG!!11 not teh insensitive on teh OT!!11!1!!

skrib09 · 12-30-2004, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calebz

OMG!!11 not teh insensitive on teh OT!!11!1!!

hahahaha

TheRex · 12-30-2004, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Asinine

You already said "not funny." Leave it at that.

Apparently you missed the Reuters article in which religious leaders (and those of faith) around the world are trying to figure out, not if, but why God did this to them in particular.

meh, they don't post on open forums where i can flame them for their fanaticism. you just got lucky.

WagonMonster · 12-30-2004, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calebz

Guess I'm just gonna burn.. Thats funnier than hell

*snort*

Me too!

Grap · 12-30-2004, 04:02 PM

I liked the car batteries line myself.

Boxologist · 12-30-2004, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Asinine

Dear Children,

My children, my flesh, my blood; this week you have seen my wrath on the shores of your lands and at the doorstep of your homes. I have brought the depths of the seas upon you so that you may know my presence. Know, my flock, that there is reason in my anger--justice in my judgement.

So I say unto you, my lambs... suck it. Suck it hard. I've been telling you people for AGES to stop screwing around. But you just don't listen. I gave you fair warning with the hurricanes in the Atlantic. But noooo you had to go on with the killing, the car bombings, the assassinations, the air strikes.

How many dark-skinned people do I have to kill before you people start paying attention? Ask any Haitian or Dominican if I'm screwing around. The answer, bitches, is no..

I swear, if you peckerheads in Dar Al Islam and the rest of Africa don't stop with the ethnic cleansing bull****, I am going to visit a ****storm on you people like you would not believe. I swear to Me I'll start dropping frogs and goat heads and car batteries out of the sky on you people. Apparently I was too merciful with the ebola and the malaria (I can't take credit for AIDS, that was Hitler).

Look, this is your FINAL warning. You have 2005 to straighten up or I'm going to start ripping continents right off the face of the earth starting with... either Asia or Africa--I haven't decided yet. Yes North America, you will get yours.

Sincerely,

GOD

preach on brother, preach on!

Brad Pittiful · 12-30-2004, 04:03 PM

its obvisously not god...i think he wouldve use official god letterhead

sleek · 12-30-2004, 04:04 PM

funny found

mr_disco · 12-30-2004, 04:05 PM

Dear Asinine,
If you were funny you would post something like:

MEMO

Dear children:
Remember how my Son (who is the spitting image of his ol' Dad) said:

Blessed are the poor in spirit:
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they that mourn:
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek:
for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness:
for they shall be filled.

Blessed are the merciful:
for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart:
for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers:
for they shall be called the children of God.

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake:
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Well, that was before ol' God became a godzillionaire off of stock options from Halliburton and Bechtel received for being a "consultant", and with the reduced capital gains tax, I've reconsidered that thinking. If you haven't noticed, the poor are going to get screwed, that's the way it's been and that's the way it'll stay.

PS: Thanks for the White House for all those tax cuts. Us small business owners really needed them. (Cough) Thanks to the SEC for turning a blind eye on all the insider trades even after the big crash in 2002. And uh, Mr. Spitzer, don't get any big ideas, you saw what happened to Bill!

TBOD · 12-30-2004, 04:08 PM

I lauged ... but I see how teh religous types could be offened
then agian OT is offense :-)

The Tree · 12-30-2004, 04:09 PM

that was freaking funny.........seriously FUNNY AS HELL

take a step back and laugh at yourself, otherwise you will die an unhappy *******

doster82 · 12-30-2004, 04:11 PM

I don't know whether to laugh of be disgusted. However, the car batteries part kicked ass!!! Forget the frogs and goat heads, wanna do some damage? Drop Batteries!!!

VSM EXtasy · 12-30-2004, 04:11 PM

I hope another 100,000 dies. F them all. F them all to hell!

12-30-2004, 03:53 PM	#1
Asinine Sufficient for Sharky Member#: 55173 Join Date: Feb 2004 Chapter/Region: MAIC Location: I beat up big rocks Vehicle: with paddles.	Open Letter From God, Re: Recent Tsunami Dear Children, My children, my flesh, my blood; this week you have seen my wrath on the shores of your lands and at the doorstep of your homes. I have brought the depths of the seas upon you so that you may know my presence. Know, my flock, that there is reason in my anger--justice in my judgement. So I say unto you, my lambs... suck it. Suck it hard. I've been telling you people for AGES to stop screwing around. But you just don't listen. I gave you fair warning with the hurricanes in the Atlantic. But noooo you had to go on with the killing, the car bombings, the assassinations, the air strikes. How many dark-skinned people do I have to kill before you people start paying attention? Ask any Haitian or Dominican if I'm screwing around. The answer, bitches, is no.. I swear, if you peckerheads in Dar Al Islam and the rest of Africa don't stop with the ethnic cleansing bull**, I am going to visit a *storm on you people like you would not believe. I swear to Me I'll start dropping frogs and goat heads and car batteries out of the sky on you people. Apparently I was too merciful with the ebola and the malaria (I can't take credit for AIDS, that was Hitler). Look, this is your FINAL warning. You have 2005 to straighten up or I'm going to start ripping continents right off the face of the earth starting with... either Asia or Africa--I haven't decided yet. Yes North America, you will get yours. Sincerely, GOD Registered users of the site do not see these ads.

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12-30-2004, 03:54 PM	#2
TheRex Scooby Specialist Member#: 37813 Join Date: Jun 2003 Chapter/Region: South East Location: Vail, CO	not funny.

12-30-2004, 03:54 PM	#3
mlambert Scooby Guru Member#: 13831 Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: 99 problems but a bitch aint 1	wow.. race hate much there god?

12-30-2004, 03:55 PM	#4
WRXedUSA Scooby Specialist Member#: 26833 Join Date: Oct 2002 Chapter/Region: SWIC Location: Seal Beach, CA Vehicle: '07 Bugatti Veyron '03 Chevy Silverado	golf clap i think?

12-30-2004, 03:56 PM	#5
Asinine Sufficient for Sharky Member#: 55173 Join Date: Feb 2004 Chapter/Region: MAIC Location: I beat up big rocks Vehicle: with paddles.	"race hate?" Apparently you haven't quite noticed that third world countries have inadequate warning for these tpes of events and therefore get the short end of the stick in this arena?

12-30-2004, 03:56 PM	#6
skrib09 Scooby Newbie Member#: 39077 Join Date: Jun 2003 Chapter/Region: MWSOC Location: st. louis Vehicle: 2004 wrx silver	god doesn't exist. IBreligiousdebate,etc.

12-30-2004, 03:57 PM	#7
TheRex Scooby Specialist Member#: 37813 Join Date: Jun 2003 Chapter/Region: South East Location: Vail, CO	to your whole thread. it's awfully insensitive.

12-30-2004, 03:58 PM	#8
trhoppe Scooby Guru Member#: 7492 Join Date: Jun 2001 Chapter/Region: South East Location: Hotlanta, GA Vehicle: No race cars www.tomhoppe.com	"I swear to Me" Only funny part of that letter -Tom

12-30-2004, 03:58 PM	#9
Grap * Banned * Member#: 6590 Join Date: May 2001 Location: **** this server...	I laughed

12-30-2004, 03:58 PM	#10
AttaQ Scooby Specialist Member#: 20301 Join Date: Jun 2002 Chapter/Region: MWSOC Location: Streamwood, IL Vehicle: 2004 BMW M3 lightweight optioned	IBTL

12-30-2004, 03:58 PM	#11
Calebz Scooby Specialist Member#: 54398 Join Date: Feb 2004 Chapter/Region: NWIC Location: Souf Central France Vehicle: 1980 CB400 Hawk 1996 GrandCherokeeLimited	Guess I'm just gonna burn.. Thats funnier than hell

12-30-2004, 04:02 PM	#17
Grap * Banned * Member#: 6590 Join Date: May 2001 Location: **** this server...	I liked the car batteries line myself.

12-30-2004, 04:03 PM	#19
Brad Pittiful Scooby Specialist Member#: 34931 Join Date: Apr 2003 Chapter/Region: Tri-State Location: Eagles are **ing Vehicle:** . Super bowl LII Champions!	its obvisously not god...i think he wouldve use official god letterhead

12-30-2004, 04:04 PM	#20
sleek Scooby Newbie Member#: 57532 Join Date: Mar 2004	funny found

12-30-2004, 04:05 PM	#21
mr_disco Scooby Specialist Member#: 7760 Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Long Beach Vehicle: 2002 Truly Slow 2006 Audi A3 in the shop	Dear Asinine, If you were funny you would post something like: MEMO Dear children: Remember how my Son (who is the spitting image of his ol' Dad) said: Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Well, that was before ol' God became a godzillionaire off of stock options from Halliburton and Bechtel received for being a "consultant", and with the reduced capital gains tax, I've reconsidered that thinking. If you haven't noticed, the poor are going to get screwed, that's the way it's been and that's the way it'll stay. PS: Thanks for the White House for all those tax cuts. Us small business owners really needed them. (Cough) Thanks to the SEC for turning a blind eye on all the insider trades even after the big crash in 2002. And uh, Mr. Spitzer, don't get any big ideas, you saw what happened to Bill!

12-30-2004, 04:08 PM	#22
TBOD Scooby Newbie Member#: 49604 Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid A driving the circus train Vehicle: 2000	I lauged ... but I see how teh religous types could be offened then agian OT is offense :-)

12-30-2004, 04:09 PM	#23
The Tree Scooby Newbie Member#: 59141 Join Date: Apr 2004 Chapter/Region: International Location: Home Vehicle: ManU Redsox Notre dame	that was freaking funny.........seriously FUNNY AS HELL take a step back and laugh at yourself, otherwise you will die an unhappy *******

12-30-2004, 04:11 PM	#24
doster82 Scooby Specialist Member#: 61845 Join Date: May 2004 Chapter/Region: RMIC Location: Salt Lake City Vehicle: MY06 Legacy GT 5MT Regal Blue Pearl	I don't know whether to laugh of be disgusted. However, the car batteries part kicked ass!!! Forget the frogs and goat heads, wanna do some damage? Drop Batteries!!!

12-30-2004, 04:11 PM	#25
VSM EXtasy * Banned * Member#: 5220 Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Bermuda triangle of Hondas. Vehicle: 98 SVT Contour Silver	I hope another 100,000 dies. F them all. F them all to hell!