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Old 11-30-2004, 12:42 PM   #1
TimStevens
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Member#: 4817
Join Date: Mar 2001
Chapter/Region: NESIC
Location: Albanyish, NY
Default Open letter to the lady whose office is next to the men's bathroom.

Dear lady whose office is next to the men's bathroom:

My thoughts go to you in your otherwise lovely office unfortunately located directly adjacent to the men's bathroom. I shudder to think of the noises that must pass through the thin wall that separates your working space from our place of solitude, noises that even your small radio playing soft rock cannot contain. While Huey Lewis and all his News must provide some small comfort to you, I'm sure you'd much rather be adjacent to the women's bathroom, which surely must sound like birds singing, puppies barking, and ladies gossiping, a far cry from the feral cacaphony of the men's. You see, this is the only place where men can relax and expel those things that cannot be politely expelled elsewhere in the workplace. Realize that while your walls may shake when Bob, the 300lb guy who works down the hall, makes his morning offering, Bob is better for it, and therefore the company is too. It's sacrifices like yours that keep us as a company moving forward.

Best wishes and quiet mornings to you,

-Not The Management

p.s. If you should find the work conditions unbearable, I'm sure there's a dark cubicle in a corner that's available somewhere in the building.
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Old 11-30-2004, 12:46 PM   #2
rogue
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Chapter/Region: MAIC
Location: Sterling, VA
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100% Abuse

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haha, kakaphony
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Old 11-30-2004, 01:12 PM   #3
bailey454
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Location: moving back to SC
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*applause*
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Old 11-30-2004, 01:14 PM   #4
-=C=-
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99 F-150 crew cab
with illegals in bed

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Maybe instead of this letter, you should just shake her hand everytime you leave the bathroom?

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Old 11-30-2004, 01:19 PM   #5
Disoriental
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Location: -=OT PARROTZ=-
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one of the managers shares a wall on the other side of the men's bathroom.
i was in her office one day and heard all the ungodly noises and started to laugh uncontrollably. she seemed numb to it though... quite a nice lady.
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Old 11-30-2004, 01:39 PM   #6
TimStevens
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I feel bad for her, but this is also the lady who feels a compelling need to print out every single e-mail she receives every day, so perhaps this is some sort of anti-environmental kharma she's feeling the wrath of?
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Old 11-30-2004, 01:44 PM   #7
Mikkito
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2015 No longer scoob
because I suck. :(

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I love letting stuff rip in the work bathroom. That lady must be in hell.
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Old 11-30-2004, 01:45 PM   #8
beachbum
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---- Smells like
weed and rampage

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My open letter to the woman whose cubicle is next to the men's bathroom would read something like this:

Dear You,

Thanks to you and your friends for co-opting my bathroom. Your whining about having to make a 15 second walk to the women's bathroom has resulted in my favorite crapper being officially designated UNISEX. Now, the door must be locked when in use, effectively rendering half the facilities useless, and I can count on that lock being engaged a good 50% of the time.

-No thanks,
The guy who reads your e-mail
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