In the middle of the niiiiiight.... (woken by the stench of feces)

Sideshowbob · 07-20-2009, 03:31 PM

I go walking in my sleep....

Through the valley of fear

To a river so deep FULL OF POOP!

The wife and I were taking care of my Dad's older German Shepherd this weekend. He got home too late last night to pick her up. Wifey and I are totally exhausted from a long day of various physical activities. We went to sleep at like 9:45.

1 am- Wifey wakes me up in a semi-panic. "The house smells like poop, I think Kyla pooped somewhere, get up and help me clean up". At this point I am thinking that it's just overreacting WAPCE.

I get outta bed, as soon as I get towards the door to the master bedroom WHAM, the smell of dog **** overwhelms me. It was kinda like when someone is baking something wonderful and it fills the house and makes your stomach rumble. Only this smelled like hot dog fart multiplied until it makes your eyes water and paint melt. My gag reflex started going which is bad because nothing makes me want to vomit (outside of balut). The best part is we are still upstairs and I am already thinking about puking. Did I mention every window in the house was already open?

Right as I crest the stairs to straighten this out, my wife, who had beat me downstairs, does a gasping horror shriek "OH MY GOD". I knew it was bad. Poor Kyla, driven by some fish I added to her dog food, had left a 14 foot crescent of poop the consistency of melting milkshake all over the carpet in the living room. It was evenly spaced so that at a minimum there was a half dollar size splotch up to a nice puddle about 1 foot in diameter at one end. Looked a lot like post-modernism. Poor Kyla is such a good girl you could tell she felt guilty.

Thought I should share that one. Carpet cleaners coming tomorrow. Sometimes Resolve does nothing.

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gramicci101 · 07-20-2009, 03:32 PM

I'm sure it will all work out in the end.

Qcanfixit · 07-20-2009, 03:34 PM

take a picture.

zombiefeedingtime · 07-20-2009, 03:34 PM

TFW · 07-20-2009, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sideshowbob

I go walking in my sleep....

Through the valley of fear

To a river so deep FULL OF POOP!

The wife and I were taking care of my Dad's older German Shepherd this weekend. He got home too late last night to pick her up. Wifey and I are totally exhausted from a long day of various physical activities. We went to sleep at like 9:45.

1 am- Wifey wakes me up in a semi-panic. "The house smells like poop, I think Kyla pooped somewhere, get up and help me clean up". At this point I am thinking that it's just overreacting WAPCE.

I get outta bed, as soon as I get towards the door to the master bedroom WHAM, the smell of dog **** overwhelms me. It was kinda like when someone is baking something wonderful and it fills the house and makes your stomach rumble. Only this smelled like hot dog fart multiplied until it makes your eyes water and paint melt. My gag reflex started going which is bad because nothing makes me want to vomit (outside of balut). The best part is we are still upstairs and I am already thinking about puking. Did I mention every window in the house was already open?

Right as I crest the stairs to straighten this out, my wife, who had beat me downstairs, does a gasping horror shriek "OH MY GOD". I knew it was bad. Poor Kyla, driven by some fish I added to her dog food, had left a 14 foot crescent of poop the consistency of melting milkshake all over the carpet in the living room. It was evenly spaced so that at a minimum there was a half dollar size splotch up to a nice puddle about 1 foot in diameter at one end. Looked a lot like post-modernism. Poor Kyla is such a good girl you could tell she felt guilty.

Thought I should share that one. Carpet cleaners coming tomorrow. Sometimes Resolve does nothing.

My dog did this in my bedroom one night. Not sure what she ate... man it was aweful.

I had to clean it up with a dustpan by scooping it up and pouring it in the toilet. The worst part was I forgot there was a hole for hanging it on a hook in the handle of the dust pan and I tipped it up once too much while carefully walking to the toilet... hot dog **** milkshake running down my wrist FTL.

burritotown · 07-20-2009, 03:35 PM

I'm sorry you wound up on the ass end of this situation.

Whitford · 07-20-2009, 03:36 PM

My shepherd growing up did a similar thing. I still can't figure out how there was crap on the ceiling...

skep18 · 07-20-2009, 03:37 PM

OMFG, that sucks!!!! Pics?!?! lol.

Fish · 07-20-2009, 03:37 PM

crappy!

you should know better than to play with a dog's diet tho.. insta-liquid-poop.

bust out the shamwow?

Sideshowbob · 07-20-2009, 03:38 PM

I wish I had taken some before we started cleaning. We didn't leave piles of poop on the floor, so now it's much less dramatic.

You could re-create this by letting a couple of gallons of chocolcate ice cream melt part way then splattering them on your living room carpet.

AJ711 · 07-20-2009, 03:39 PM

Craptastic story!

burritotown · 07-20-2009, 03:39 PM

My cat defecates in her litter box.

Sideshowbob · 07-20-2009, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fish

crappy!

you should know better than to play with a dog's diet tho.. insta-liquid-poop.

She eats varying things all the time.....just something about cod apparently didn't agree with her.

Hypernoodle · 07-20-2009, 03:40 PM

Been there.

When I was living with my parents, their giant schnauser decided to lave a huge mess right inside my bedroom door. Something didn't agree with her, and she didn't make it in time to get to my bed and wake me up to let her out. I woke up to the same damn thing.

The problem was the mess was right near the lightswitch. Guess which of the two I found first?

i actually slipped in it! Luckily for me, I landed in a backward crabwalk position, over the mess, nasty foot held in the air. I got up, flipped on the light, almost puked at the combination of the sight and the smell, and tried to figure-out what to do about my foot.

I hopped on one foot through the family room, down the stairs, through the dining room, down the hall, and into the bathroom. I just stuck my foot in the toilet and flushed a few times, and went at it with paper towels from under the sink, then scrubbed the foot with comet.

Then the task of cleaning the mess.

The smell didn't go away, so I ended-up sleeping on the downstairs couch for a couple nights.

Georgethefierce · 07-20-2009, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ascheier

My cat defecates in her litter box.

you share your cat's personality........that isn't a compliment

burritotown · 07-20-2009, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Georgethefierce

you share your cat's personality........that isn't a compliment

Intelligence, independence, and politeness? You're too kind.

cucamelsmd15 · 07-20-2009, 03:44 PM

Story needs more puppy and roomba. That was an OT classic.

WhiteKnightSTi · 07-20-2009, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hypernoodle

Been there.

When I was living with my parents, their giant schnauser decided to lave a huge mess right inside my bedroom door. Something didn't agree with her, and she didn't make it in time to get to my bed and wake me up to let her out. I woke up to the same damn thing.

The problem was the mess was right near the lightswitch. Guess which of the two I found first?

i actually slipped in it! Luckily for me, I landed in a backward crabwalk position, over the mess, nasty foot held in the air. I got up, flipped on the light, almost puked at the combination of the sight and the smell, and tried to figure-out what to do about my foot.

I hopped on one foot through the family room, down the stairs, through the dining room, down the hall, and into the bathroom. I just stuck my foot in the toilet and flushed a few times, and went at it with paper towels from under the sink, then scrubbed the foot with comet.

Then the task of cleaning the mess.

The smell didn't go away, so I ended-up sleeping on the downstairs couch for a couple nights.

WHY IN GODS NAME DO PEOPLE ENJOY OWNING PETS!?!?

felixk · 07-20-2009, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sideshowbob

Poor Kyla, driven by some fish I added to her dog food, had left a 14 foot crescent of poop the consistency of melting milkshake all over the carpet in the living room.

subysleeper · 07-20-2009, 03:47 PM

This is the funniest thing I have read in a while. My co-workers are all starring at me.

I'm sorry, but your

made me

CincinnatiKid · 07-20-2009, 03:56 PM

Should've let the roomba clean it up.

El Camino · 07-20-2009, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zombiefeedingtime

this got me good.

Calebz · 07-20-2009, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zombiefeedingtime

100% poopyface!

drez07 · 07-20-2009, 04:15 PM

I'm pretty sure the way you told the story made this better. Any normal, "my dog **** everywhere in my house" is not that funny. But this, is pretty funny.

cucamelsmd15 · 07-20-2009, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CincinnatiKid

Should've let the roomba clean it up.

Post 17 kid.

07-20-2009, 03:31 PM	#1
Sideshowbob Scooby Guru Member#: 50304 Join Date: Dec 2003 Chapter/Region: NESIC Location: HTown Tehas Vehicle: 97 TJ Wheeler 12' TSX Wagon	In the middle of the niiiiiight.... (woken by the stench of feces) I go walking in my sleep.... Through the valley of fear To a river so deep FULL OF POOP! The wife and I were taking care of my Dad's older German Shepherd this weekend. He got home too late last night to pick her up. Wifey and I are totally exhausted from a long day of various physical activities. We went to sleep at like 9:45. 1 am- Wifey wakes me up in a semi-panic. "The house smells like poop, I think Kyla pooped somewhere, get up and help me clean up". At this point I am thinking that it's just overreacting WAPCE. I get outta bed, as soon as I get towards the door to the master bedroom WHAM, the smell of dog **** overwhelms me. It was kinda like when someone is baking something wonderful and it fills the house and makes your stomach rumble. Only this smelled like hot dog fart multiplied until it makes your eyes water and paint melt. My gag reflex started going which is bad because nothing makes me want to vomit (outside of balut). The best part is we are still upstairs and I am already thinking about puking. Did I mention every window in the house was already open? Right as I crest the stairs to straighten this out, my wife, who had beat me downstairs, does a gasping horror shriek "OH MY GOD". I knew it was bad. Poor Kyla, driven by some fish I added to her dog food, had left a 14 foot crescent of poop the consistency of melting milkshake all over the carpet in the living room. It was evenly spaced so that at a minimum there was a half dollar size splotch up to a nice puddle about 1 foot in diameter at one end. Looked a lot like post-modernism. Poor Kyla is such a good girl you could tell she felt guilty. Thought I should share that one. Carpet cleaners coming tomorrow. Sometimes Resolve does nothing. * Registered users of the site do not see these ads.

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07-20-2009, 03:32 PM	#2
gramicci101 Scooby Newbie Member#: 64763 Join Date: Jun 2004 Chapter/Region: International Location: AFCENT Vehicle: The cake is a lie.	I'm sure it will all work out in the end.

07-20-2009, 03:34 PM	#3
Qcanfixit Scooby Specialist Member#: 135762 Join Date: Dec 2006 Chapter/Region: Tri-State Location: alternate reality Vehicle: 2059 Venturi Skimobi transparent aluminium	take a picture.

07-20-2009, 03:34 PM	#4
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07-20-2009, 03:35 PM	#6
burritotown Scooby Specialist Member#: 121031 Join Date: Jul 2006	I'm sorry you wound up on the ass end of this situation.

07-20-2009, 03:36 PM	#7
Whitford Scooby Specialist Member#: 97875 Join Date: Mar 2005 Chapter/Region: SCIC Location: Los Angeles Vehicle: 2017 2019 Bullitt	My shepherd growing up did a similar thing. I still can't figure out how there was crap on the ceiling...

07-20-2009, 03:37 PM	#8
skep18 Scooby Specialist Member#: 214971 Join Date: Jun 2009 Chapter/Region: South East Location: TN Vehicle: 2014 WRX DGM	OMFG, that sucks!!!! Pics?!?! lol.

07-20-2009, 03:37 PM	#9
Fish RIP Sirkbac Member#: 869 Join Date: Feb 2000 Chapter/Region: NESIC Location: Southern NH Vehicle: 1984 GPZ-750 TURBO 90' MX-5/11' DGM STi Sdn	crappy! you should know better than to play with a dog's diet tho.. insta-liquid-poop. bust out the shamwow?

07-20-2009, 03:38 PM	#10
Sideshowbob Scooby Guru Member#: 50304 Join Date: Dec 2003 Chapter/Region: NESIC Location: HTown Tehas Vehicle: 97 TJ Wheeler 12' TSX Wagon	I wish I had taken some before we started cleaning. We didn't leave piles of poop on the floor, so now it's much less dramatic. You could re-create this by letting a couple of gallons of chocolcate ice cream melt part way then splattering them on your living room carpet.

07-20-2009, 03:39 PM	#11
AJ711 Scooby Specialist Member#: 6178 Join Date: Apr 2001 Chapter/Region: MAIC Location: Singletracks Vehicle: 98 GM67 2 whls > 4 whls	Craptastic story!

07-20-2009, 03:40 PM	#14
Hypernoodle Scooby Specialist Member#: 12391 Join Date: Nov 2001 Chapter/Region: NESIC Location: YER.MOMS.A.HAIKU.AND.HERES.WHY Vehicle: I did her 5 times then 7 times, then 5 more	Been there. When I was living with my parents, their giant schnauser decided to lave a huge mess right inside my bedroom door. Something didn't agree with her, and she didn't make it in time to get to my bed and wake me up to let her out. I woke up to the same damn thing. The problem was the mess was right near the lightswitch. Guess which of the two I found first? i actually slipped in it! Luckily for me, I landed in a backward crabwalk position, over the mess, nasty foot held in the air. I got up, flipped on the light, almost puked at the combination of the sight and the smell, and tried to figure-out what to do about my foot. I hopped on one foot through the family room, down the stairs, through the dining room, down the hall, and into the bathroom. I just stuck my foot in the toilet and flushed a few times, and went at it with paper towels from under the sink, then scrubbed the foot with comet. Then the task of cleaning the mess. The smell didn't go away, so I ended-up sleeping on the downstairs couch for a couple nights.

07-20-2009, 03:44 PM	#17
cucamelsmd15 Scooby Specialist Member#: 122980 Join Date: Aug 2006 Chapter/Region: South East Location: Raleigh, NC Vehicle: 2010 F150, 2013 CX-5 92 Miata 15 TTF/PTF/E3	Story needs more puppy and roomba. That was an OT classic.

07-20-2009, 03:47 PM	#20
subysleeper Scooby Newbie Member#: 59144 Join Date: Apr 2004 Chapter/Region: Tri-State Location: FBHIC Vehicle: ... My car is Front-Mid Engine	This is the funniest thing I have read in a while. My co-workers are all starring at me. I'm sorry, but your made me

07-20-2009, 03:56 PM	#21
CincinnatiKid Scooby Newbie Member#: 207672 Join Date: Apr 2009 Chapter/Region: MAIC Location: eastern delaware Vehicle: 08 WRX, S50 E30 rot	Should've let the roomba clean it up.

07-20-2009, 04:15 PM	#24
drez07 Scooby Newbie Member#: 171717 Join Date: Feb 2008 Chapter/Region: MAIC Location: Maryland Vehicle: 02 wrx srp	I'm pretty sure the way you told the story made this better. Any normal, "my dog **** everywhere in my house" is not that funny. But this, is pretty funny.