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Old 10-25-2006, 11:17 AM   #1
Mike Wevrick
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PWN3D My 1-yr-old bullies 3-yr-olds

Sounds funny but we're actually a little concerned. Our younger son, Alex, is 18 months old and very aggressive. He'll grab stuff that our older son, Max (3 1/2) is playing with, and usually win the ensuing fight. Max just cries. It's not just with Max. I recently took them both to a birthday party and had to intervene because Alex was trying to grab something from a 3-yr-old and the kid was getting pretty upset. Yes, I know its normal for 1-yr-olds to be grabby and not very good at sharing but both his aggressiveness and Max's wimpiness are starting to worry me. Comments? Advice?
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:18 AM   #2
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So the second one is taking after you and the first your wife?

Most likely a phase where he is confused on the pecking order.
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:19 AM   #3
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Give him a football.
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:19 AM   #4
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I'd be more concerned w/the 3 year old getting his ass kicked by the 1 year old.
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:20 AM   #5
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PS Alex doesn't punch or bite or anything really bad, but he will push people. Recently at the zoo he pushed his way to the front of the crowd to see some animal. It's pretty funny when people turrn around to glare at the person shoving them, only to see a 1-yr-old. :lol
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:20 AM   #6
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With the powers of his super Wevrick-Seager mind?
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:21 AM   #7
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I'd be more concerned w/the 3 year old getting his ass kicked by the 1 year old.

ghey?
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:21 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by Mike Wevrick View Post
PS Alex doesn't punch or bite or anything really bad, but he will push people. Recently at the zoo he pushed his way to the front of the crowd to see some animal. It's pretty funny when people turrn around to glare at the person shoving them, only to see a 1-yr-old. :lol
Yeah, but then I would be glaring at you, the parent.
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:21 AM   #9
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sounds like a job for Maury Povich !!!

Did you 'baby' the first child and ease up a lot with the second one ? That tends to be a pretty common theme and I have seen this same pattern of behavior with some of our friends who have two or more children. The first one is almost always the more passive one. Which would mean to me that it is obvious that most people tend to coddle their first child to the point where they become very passive and are used to having someone else there to help them deal with their problems and assist them through any issues. Where the second child is left on their own more often and develops the ability to be more self sufficient...
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:23 AM   #10
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I blame video games.
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:23 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by Hockeyguy21 View Post
So the second one is taking after you and the first your wife?

Most likely a phase where he is confused on the pecking order.
Nah, if anything I am less aggressive than my wife (although neither of us is physically aggressive).

No confusion, he wants to be at the top. (A similar thing happened with our cats, which is apparently pretty unusual. Our 2nd cat took over top cat position even as a kitten.)
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:23 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Wevrick View Post
Sounds funny but we're actually a little concerned. Our younger son, Alex, is 18 months old and very aggressive. He'll grab stuff that our older son, Max (3 1/2) is playing with, and usually win the ensuing fight. Max just cries. It's not just with Max. I recently took them both to a birthday party and had to intervene because Alex was trying to grab something from a 3-yr-old and the kid was getting pretty upset. Yes, I know its normal for 1-yr-olds to be grabby and not very good at sharing but both his aggressiveness and Max's wimpiness are starting to worry me. Comments? Advice?
Damn! 18 months already?!

Alex is innately dominant. Nothing you can do but try to steer his domination into nonconfrontational channels.

And kick Max's ass until he mans up.
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:24 AM   #13
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I suppose when you see it happen you could tell him no, then put him his crib for a while. Hopefully he will catch on that he shouldn't be pushing others; but I'm not a parient so I don't know if that would work.
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:25 AM   #14
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^^He's a little young for time outs (doesn't really understand that its a punishment).

Quote:
Originally Posted by dcmomentum View Post
Yeah, but then I would be glaring at you, the parent.
I guess, but its pretty hard to control him in a crowd. Anyway, its not like he really hurts people. Most people relax when they see its a little kid.

Oh and they don't have video games or even TV.
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:25 AM   #15
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We have 2 biys a 2yr old and a 1yr old. And our 1yr old is the same way. That kid is like a little bull. The 2 yr old is acutually scared of his younger brother.
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:25 AM   #16
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do it
do it!!!
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:28 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZMANNH25rs View Post
sounds like a job for Maury Povich !!!

Did you 'baby' the first child and ease up a lot with the second one ? That tends to be a pretty common theme and I have seen this same pattern of behavior with some of our friends who have two or more children. The first one is almost always the more passive one. Which would mean to me that it is obvious that most people tend to coddle their first child to the point where they become very passive and are used to having someone else there to help them deal with their problems and assist them through any issues. Where the second child is left on their own more often and develops the ability to be more self sufficient...
Definitely partly true although even with Max we really made an effort to not do everything for him. And he is generally pretty independent.
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:28 AM   #18
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sounds like a bumper sticker, Mike.

my kid can beat up your kid, the other is effeminate, my wife is a rocket scientist, and I'm on teh leash.
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:29 AM   #19
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Have you tried punishing the 1 year old so he learns that is inappropriate behavior? I mean, as parents, its your job to teach them these things.
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:30 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Wevrick View Post
^^He's a little young for time outs (doesn't really understand that its a punishment).



I guess, but its pretty hard to control him in a crowd. Anyway, its not like he really hurts people. Most people relax when they see its a little kid.

Oh and they don't have video games or even TV.
That's because he's only 1 year old. What's going to happen if he still acts this way at age 4? 14? I'm not a parent, but I'd be really concerned.
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:32 AM   #21
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^^The thing is, he's not really doing anything "wrong" for his age. At 3 or even 2, yes, they can and should be taught to be more polite.

sorbee: Punishing 1-yr-olds is tricky. We tell him NO in a stern voice, and take him away to another corner to do something else.

Quote:
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Give him a football.
He's actually pretty good with the plastic T-ball set. He's much more physical in general than Max, although Max likes physical activities too.
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:33 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by Joe Boxer View Post
sounds like a bumper sticker, Mike.

my kid can beat up your kid, the other is effeminate, my wife is a rocket scientist, and I'm on teh leash.

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Old 10-25-2006, 11:33 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Wevrick View Post
^^He's a little young for time outs (doesn't really understand that its a punishment).
You could try it; and if when you bring him out of time out he does it again put him right back in. I think he will get the point eventually.....I think .
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:33 AM   #24
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Quote:
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sounds like a bumper sticker, Mike.

my kid can beat up your kid, the other is effeminate, my wife is a rocket scientist, and I'm on teh leash.
Who wrote this for you? There's no way you came up w/that on your own.
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:34 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dcmomentum View Post
Who wrote this for you? There's no way you came up w/that on your own.
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