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Old 07-30-2012, 04:35 PM   #26
edkwon
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Quote:
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Vaguely incompetent? Must be nice.
It's that frustrating balance of sucking enough to make your job difficult, but not sucking enough to get fired or transferred.
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Old 07-30-2012, 04:47 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Davemeister View Post
Incorrect. Real-world scenarios do not involve predictable butts, so testing methods involve a random butt and a random plug.
I disagree with your conclusions professor and I say good day to you!
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Old 07-30-2012, 05:32 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebody else View Post
Yes, it was childish! Duh!

You must be new around here.
I'm terminally immature.

And he didn't get fired for that; he didn't pass probation because he couldn't do what he was hired for -- what he told his supervisors he could do.
Wait, wait, wait...I always thought it was somebody else....







Never mind.
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Old 07-30-2012, 05:46 PM   #29
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download CP to his terminal and call the police.
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Old 07-30-2012, 06:08 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by Harv View Post
I can't even really describe why this kid is making my life difficult since it involves a whole bunch of programming crap that most people won't understand.

He supposedly knows how to develop a program, but then when it doesn't work suddenly he can't figure out how to debug the thing. Or he uses certain tools, but doesn't understand fundamental problems he should avoid when using them.

It's like he is doing a brake job using an instruction manual and something else in the system goes wrong and he has no idea what brakes actually do to figure out the real cause of the problem and he comes to you about why the the car doesn't stop and says, "What? Brakes stop the car?! News to me, I was just swapping these pads and rotors." You would give them the same puzzled look that I give this guy when he comes to me with issues and think to yourself, "You're a mechanic?"

Whenever this guy comes to me I think, "You're a programmer?"

And no, I don't have any say over the hiring process and luckily this guy is a contractor and will hopefully be canned once we no longer need bodies filling seats.
Then about 6 months later something will happen and you'll have to go back and look at the code he wrote and give a big fat WTF.

As a server admin this happens to me a lot. I don't program but I have to go back and read some of these scripts other people have written and I'm just like .
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Old 07-30-2012, 06:15 PM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soon2bblackongold View Post
That kid sounds super annoying. A lot of people 'claim' to know how to program, most are super cocky, know-it-all's. They can't program ish, I dealt with this when I was trying to start a business.
I used to work with one of those. He has been programming for probably 15 years, and he is a terrible. I would often find a bug, track it down what was wrong, show him, and he would say something like "I know it works" or "It worked last week". He was always angry about it too. 3 hours later he would figure out the same thing I was trying to explain, fix it and not even once did he apologize for yelling at me. I can't remember one time he changed a program and it didn't introduce a bug or uncover an existing one.
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Old 07-30-2012, 06:31 PM   #32
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Incorrect. Real-world scenarios do not involve predictable butts, so testing methods involve a random butt and a random plug.
Reminds me of an Alan Shugart anecdote.

One of his first jobs at IBM in the '60s was testing mass storage. His manager walked into the lab one day to see Alan leaning back in his chair, feet up on the desk, puffing a huge cigar and blowing the smoke directly at the disk-pack under test. The shocked manager screamed at him, "What are you doing?! You'll cause a head crash!"

Alan calmly took another drag, blew it in the direction of the drive and replied, "If our drives are failing from something as mild as a little air contamination, we've got a lot bigger problem than my smoking."
-- Alan Shugart, founder and CEO, Seagate Technology
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Old 07-30-2012, 06:45 PM   #33
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I once nested so many if else statements a bird laid eggs in my program.

Oh, programming jokes, you #make world go around.
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Old 07-30-2012, 06:47 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SlickWRX
I have to go back and read some of these scripts other people have written and I'm just like .
My next-to-last real job entailed doing just that, pretty much.
Production-quality coding has different and sometimes very boring requirements compared to quickie special-purpose tools.

I would go over other people's work and, basically, wrap error trapping around every function call. I was good at it. Once you see it as an important feature you can find ways to do it really well. It becomes fun and rewarding.

Another job was working with a researcher who was creating ways to test very large and inter-dependent programs. Programs so large that even the fastest clusters would take decades to do exhaustive brute-force testing. Part of that project was presenting mathematical proof that the tests provided reliable results. It was like meta meta.

Things like fighter fly-by-wire and weapons control systems.
__________

Pretty much any software you use is 45% user interface, 45% error trapping and 10% actual work. Frequently that 10% drops to around 1%. Getting engineers to work on the 90% is one of those jobs they give you in hell if you've led a particularly sinful life.
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Old 07-30-2012, 06:49 PM   #35
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I once nested so many if else statements a bird laid eggs in my program.
Marry me! <3
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Old 07-30-2012, 08:01 PM   #36
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I work with a woman, and her sole job is to go around to retailers and make sure they have the correct merchandising/point of sale info up. If they don't she is suppose to order it and replace it. Instead she will email me and say, this person needs this this and this. I am constantly forwarding these emails back to my manager saying... this is not my job (I repair our equipment on site), why is she not ordering them. But the way I see it, if she isn't canned, it will be hard for me to be.
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Old 07-30-2012, 08:11 PM   #37
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I think I might be that guy.
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Old 07-30-2012, 09:22 PM   #38
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My GF asked me to go to the store to get a loaf of bread, and she said if they have eggs, get a dozen. They had eggs so I brought home 12 loaves of bread.
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Old 07-30-2012, 11:47 PM   #39
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My GF asked me to go to the store to get a loaf of bread, and she said if they have eggs, get a dozen. They had eggs so I brought home 12 loaves of bread.
YES!!!

Indefinite articles will one day cause a nuke-you-lar hologram!!!
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Old 07-31-2012, 01:07 AM   #40
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Originally Posted by Davemeister View Post
I once nested so many if else statements a bird laid eggs in my program.

Oh, programming jokes, you #make world go around.

I did that with a robot I was programing.

it kept bumping into the walls and oscillating its sensors over the line.
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Old 07-31-2012, 01:19 AM   #41
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harv View Post
He is not super cocky, if he was that I would really hate him. He is more needy than cocky. He'll send out messages with questions that could be easily answered via Google. With about half our developers I feel like my ability to search Google is what amazes them the most.
This x 1000. The people I work with, both above and below me, think I am some type of all knowing god. I just know how to use google! Pretty damn simple. I can't stand walking people through a solution which I figured out in 30 seconds on google.

They ask me 'how do you know all of this?' all the time. I answer, 'I don't I just know how to solve problems.'
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Old 07-31-2012, 01:27 AM   #42
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This x 1000. The people I work with, both above and below me, think I am some type of all knowing god. I just know how to use google! Pretty damn simple. I can't stand walking people through a solution which I figured out in 30 seconds on google.

They ask me 'how do you know all of this?' all the time. I answer, 'I don't I just know how to solve problems.'

bingo x
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Old 07-31-2012, 01:57 AM   #43
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oh man....ive had it up to my eyeballs with ****ing incompetent co-workers

had a guy who had been doing a particular job for 2 years....this guy didnt know how to cut/copy-paste or use notepad to manipulate data.....TOTALLY computer illiterate

and he was gonna TRAIN me......i about ****

it was hilarious watching him the first shift or 2.....then it started making me really sad that this guy was just so totally worthless, and had bull****ted his way so far

then i got pissed off with his bull**** and i fiddled with a couple things ....
he kinna lost his mind there for a bit...smashed up some of the equipment in his rage

he went on a medical leave shortly thereafter and was on light duty when he came back

just glad i didnt hafta work with him anymore
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Old 07-31-2012, 03:05 AM   #44
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awesome
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Old 07-31-2012, 03:14 AM   #45
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We would get email from graduates. These are people with a Bachelor's Degree in Computer Science. It would go something like this:
I'm filling out a job application for a programming job and it's asking me what computer languages I know. What should I write?
This happened more than once.
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Old 07-31-2012, 07:52 AM   #46
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Waaaaaait...this is a thing? Problem is, in my office these folks are all managers.
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Old 07-31-2012, 07:56 AM   #47
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Originally Posted by Uncle Scotty View Post
this guy didnt know how to cut/copy-paste or use notepad to manipulate data.....TOTALLY computer illiterate
This is one of the things that sets me off. I had one guy that I was showing how to remove tapes from a library. The tapes weren't in sequence so it required ctrl shift clicking multiple selections. He just didn't get it. Come to find out he didn't know any shortcut keys and would drag drop things whenever possible. Thats also about the time I started noticing folders on a network share were disappearing. I did a search for files within the folders and deduced that he must have dragged them into the subfolders I found them in.
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Old 07-31-2012, 08:03 AM   #48
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Try working where I am.

A common occurance is to order software, get it approved, place the order and... wait.

"Can you check the status?" Nope.
"Can you find out how long it's going to be?" Nope.
"Can you escalate this to someone that can check the status?" Nope.
"Can you get Boss' Boss' Boss to find out?" Nope. He won't know either or be able to do anything about it, it's a problem higher than him.

Ordered software 5 months ago to get my job done. Nothing can be done other than to wait. Can't even find out where in the chain it is.

Enn
Emm
Sea
Aye

--kC
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Old 07-31-2012, 10:25 AM   #49
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Just experienced this:

Andrea: "The spot will be delivered for air 5 August."
Alex (from my German team): "Will it be translated?"
Andrea: "There is no voice-over or copy in it."
Alex: "Ok, so what languages will it be available in?"
Andrea:
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Old 07-31-2012, 10:38 AM   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebody else View Post
We would get email from graduates. These are people with a Bachelor's Degree in Computer Science. It would go something like this:
I'm filling out a job application for a programming job and it's asking me what computer languages I know. What should I write?
This happened more than once.
Well, technically most of them know **** about **** after getting a CS degree, but still, really?
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