Ahh Floriderp, you always take the crown.

[upnygimp]

No matter how hard any other state fights to take over your title of worst state in the universe, your residents seem to have the fight to stay on top.

New breed of baby sitter: Pit bull


PALM COAST, Fla. (AP) — A Florida man is charged with child neglect after allegedly leaving his 10-month-old baby in the care of his pit bull while he went to a bar.
The Flagler County Sheriff's Office says 41-year-old James Irvine of Palm Coast was arrested early Saturday.
The Daytona Beach News-Journal reports the child's mother called police after learning Irvine left the baby alone while he went out to drink. She was at work at the time.
A police report says he told her the "pit bull was watching the baby." The child was in his bedroom with the door shut when she came home. A deputy reported the dog was sitting outside the room.
It's not known whether Irvine has an attorney.

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[Brad Pittiful]

the pit bull was prolly the best choice of a baby sitter if the guys friends are anything like he is

[plode]

The pitbull is probably a better sitter than this guy sitting at home watching the kid while drinking.

[JC]

This is ridiculous. Obviously the pit bull can't watch the baby if it's outside the room. You need to put the pit bull inside the kids bedroom. Florida.

[TrickNipple]

Mr.Pringle doesn't live in Florida

[Lacrosse]

[kingsti]

I had warm feel when dog was outside the door.

[Mr.Krinkle]

Originally Posted by TrickNipple

Mr.Pringle doesn't live in Florida

My pits won't let me get more than 10 feet of my kid before they herd her back to me.

[Garandman]

Top this, you say? OK, it's on!

Cops: Woman Crashes Car While Shaving Her Privates

According to a startled Florida Highway Patrol trooper, Barnes was shaving her bikini area while driving south on the famed Overseas Highway when she crashed into the rear of an SUV March 2.

"She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit," Dunick told the Key West Citizen.

It gets weirder. In order to pay full attention to her sensitive regions, police say Barnes enlisted her ex-husband, Charles Judy, who was riding shotgun, to hold the wheel.

Barnes shouldn't have been driving that Thunderbird, since she had been convicted the previous day for driving under the influence and driving with a suspended license. According to the arrest report, it was the sixth time her license had been suspended. Barnes was charged with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of an accident with injuries and driving with no insurance.

[Kaiser]

Originally Posted by Garandman

Top this, you say? OK, it's on!

Cops: Woman Crashes Car While Shaving Her Privates

All right, sir:

Mother and Daughter Do Porn Together But Don’t Touch Lips Because That Would Be Weird (NSFW)

Neetzan Zimmerman

Family-themed adult films are nothing new.

In fact, one of the most successful and long-running porn series of all time — Taboo — revolves around parents seducing their children and vice versa.
With that in mind — meet The Sexxxtons (NSFW link).



Unlike the pretend incest of Taboo, Monica and Jessica Sexxxton are the real deal. The mother-daughter duo resides in Tampa, Florida, and has been shooting smut in tandem for over a year.

But let's get one thing straight: The two might have full-on, balls-to-the-wall sex with the same guy at the same time on camera, but they absolutely don't touch each other while the red light is blinking.

"We don't have a problem doing two-on-one," 56-year-old Jessica told The Huffington Post. "We will have sex with one man, but not interact with each other."

Sound simple enough, right? It's not. "It's not east to do," 22-year-old Monica insists. "Our lips never touch and that can be a problem when filming."

Despite their claim that a red line has been established, a cursory Google search on their names reveals that the Sexxxtons have no problem dancing around the legal boundaries of their questionable endeavor, most often http://i.imgur.com/xyk5O.jpg.

For the record, Florida requires a female sex organ to have been penetrated by a male sex organ for incest to have been committed, so it seems the Sexxxtons are free to feel each other up to their freaky heart's content.

"I enjoy the sex and I enjoy being with my mom," says Monica, who dropped out school in ninth grade and got her mom started in the porn biz before following suit. "During the scenes, I think about how we're going to be filthy rich."

[Garandman]

Well played!

[johnnyb]

Arresting officer from shaver link:

"About 10 years ago, I stopped a guy in the exact same spot... who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, 'Nothing will ever beat this.' Well, this takes it."

[Kaiser]

Originally Posted by Garandman

Well played!

[Pondo-sti]

"During the scenes, I think about how we're going to be filthy rich."

Well... At least they succeeded at something....

[boxered]

"The mother-daughter duo resides in Tampa, Florida"

cnw, right up your alley

[Jack]

As much as I'd like to cite example of how much Texas could match Florida......I can't.

[chapstien]

Ok

Will not be hosting the picture.

http://www.classichitsandoldies.com/...-manipulative/

TAMPA, Fla.) - The ex-girlfriend of Abraham Shakespeare, the Florida lotto winner who prosecutors say was swindled out of his money and killed by Dee Dee Moore, testified at Moore's trial that Moore lied to her about Shakespeare's running off with another woman when he disappeared.

Sentorria Butler, Shakespeare's ex-girlfriend and the mother of his child, told the court on the ninth day of the trial Thursday that Moore is a divisive and manipulative woman.

"She [Moore] said he ran off with the lady from the bank, and that he wasn't coming back," Butler said. "She wanted me to be so mad with him."

Prosecutors say that Moore, 40, befriended Shakespeare before he vanished in April 2009 after he'd won $30 million in the Florida lottery. After Shakespeare had given away most of his money to people who simply asked for it, Moore agreed to manage the little he had left, but instead, prosecutors say, stole his winnings and killed him.

After days of crying in court throughout the trial, Moore had another emotional outburst on Thursday after Butler's testimony. Tampa, Fla., Judge Emmett Battles temporarily stopped the trial so Moore could pull herself together.

"Ms. Moore, I'm going to tell you once again, you need to compose yourself. ***8230; Do you want another moment to talk to your lawyer?" Battles asked.

Moore was so distraught by Butler's testimony that she yelled out at one point, "I'm tired of these people lying. This is my life."

Moore then insisted that her lawyers, against their better judgment, show portions of a home video she had shot of Butler that Moore believe proved Butler was lying on the witness stand. Butler said Moore had told her that the video was being shot for the website mybabydaddy.com.

Butler testified that Moore manipulated her and got her to say on camera that Shakespeare beat her, and that he had AIDS. Butler said she was lying in the video.

"She showed up with a camera and asked me to participate in her foolish thing of, ***8216;I want to make this thing up, and put it online," Butler told the court.

Jurors also watched a Walmart surveillance video that the prosecution says links Moore to Shakespeare's killing. The footage shows Moore making a $104 cash purchase of gloves, duct tape, plastic sheeting and other items that detectives later found close to where Shakespeare's body was buried.

An informant testified earlier in the trial that he told Moore he would need the items to get rid of Shakespeare's body.

Moore maintains her innocence, saying she was trying to help Shakespeare collect unpaid debts and protect him from the many people trying to take advantage of him.

Prosecutors are not pursuing the death penalty in the case. If Moore is convicted, she faces life in prison.

[Garandman]

Had to google the lovely Miss Moore.


Apparently, her looks killed him.... :RIMSHOT:

[UberWilhelm]

Couldn't decide if this deserved to be in a Floriderp thread or a Religion Sucks thread. Calling all Kaisers!

Florida Teen Expelled, Charged With Felony For Lesbian Relationship

A Florida family says their 18-year-old daughter was charged with a felony and expelled from high school as a result of a consensual, same-sex relationship with another student.

Kaitlyn Hunt started dating a female classmate at the beginning of the school year when she was 17 and the girl she was dating was about three years younger. According to an account posted to Facebook by Kaitlyn's mother, in February, shortly after Kaitlyn turned 18, she was arrested on felony charges at the behest of her girlfriend's parents. The specific crime was "sexual battery on a person 12-16 years old."

Kaitlyn's mother believes the charges were motivated by anti-gay animus:

They were out to destroy my daughter, they feel like my daughter "made" their daughter gay. They are bigoted, religious zeolites [sic] that see being gay as a sin and wrong, and they blame my daughter.

But Kaitlyn's problems did not end there. Her girlfriends's parents appealed to the school board and had her expelled from Sebastian River High School. Kaitlyn's mom reports that the State Attorney, Brian Workman, has offered Kaitlyn a plea deal "of two years house arrest and one year probation." Kaitlyn has until next Friday to accept the plea deal or face a trial.

The family has started a petition calling on the state attorney to drop the charges against Kaitlyn.

http://thinkprogress.org/?p=2033281&...true&mobile=nc

[RastaMon]

...and then he found 600 million dollar bucks.

[Kaiser]

Originally Posted by UberWilhelm

Calling all Kaisers!

They should really leave female Greg Gutfeld alone!

[fliz]

Ageofconsent ...know it before touching underage poon, even if you're not touching it with a penis.

[Kaiser]

Originally Posted by fliz

Ageofconsent ...know it before touching underage poon

That should never apply when it's an 18 and 16 year old female couple. In fact, it should be illegal not to post videos of their nubile scissoring.

[aod]

Originally Posted by UberWilhelm

Couldn't decide if this deserved to be in a Floriderp thread or a Religion Sucks thread. Calling all Kaisers!

Or maybe the statutory rape is statutory rape regardless if they are homosexual or straight thread.

[Kaiser]

Fellas, fellas...we're not lawyers. Let's not judge this young lady and her insatiable lust for teen vagina until we have all of the facts.