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Old 02-10-2006, 11:18 AM   #1
AC Lerok
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Default help me convince my brother to elope with his fiance.

my brother and his fiance are set to get married in september of this year. they've done zero planning, and they're also expecting my parents to pay for it since her folks are wacky.

the fiance's family life is a wreck ... major mommy and daddy issues, her three sisters are lunatics, etc. we anticipate major drama from them should an actual event take place. the bride doesn't want her dad to "give her away" and there'd have to be all kinds of rules regarding who can sit near who ... that kind of happy horse****. despite that, the bride still has a list of about 120 people she wants to be there, and it's my feeling that she's basically trying to rub it in her mom and dad's face and the more witnesses, the better.

my family is super-small - my mom, dad, myself, and one grandmother, that's it. my dad is going to end up paying for a miserable slapped-together wedding fraught with tension, of which only 5 of the attendees are in his family.

why can't they just elope and then throw a party when they get back?

PS i can't stand her, but it's my brother's decision. i think he's in for a hell of a ride and he will eventually want to get off, but how can you say that to somebody?
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:19 AM   #2
boxered
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Las Vegas FTW
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:20 AM   #3
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I heard for some reason they cantaloupe.
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:21 AM   #4
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Tell your dad to not pay.

Or conversely, let them work it out. You're a second-tier player in this, my friend.
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:21 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BacDoc
I heard for some reason they cantaloupe.

Holla!


my uncle and antaloped
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:21 AM   #6
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"Life in the Slaw Lane"?
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:25 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Georgethefierce
Holla!


my uncle and antaloped
Quote:
Originally Posted by BacDoc
I heard for some reason they cantaloupe.


get him sh/t trashed... force him to have s3x0rz with a hooker and take pics... send pix to fam.
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:26 AM   #8
AC Lerok
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Layman
Tell your dad to not pay.

Or conversely, let them work it out. You're a second-tier player in this, my friend.
oh, i know. i guess i'm all about preventing rifts and this chick is causing one in my house, and i must protect the house of lerok.

my dad won't NOT pay, because he believes in helping his children. he's somewhat miffed that my bro spent a ton of cash on a house (closing today) without ever having a "who's paying for what" discussion with my parents in regards to the wedding because it's just assumed that my dad will pick up the tab.

certainly, the house is more important. it's a principle thing for my pop, and i feel his frustration.
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:27 AM   #9
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Can we help you convince your brother to DTB instead? That sounds like more fun.
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:34 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AC Lerok
oh, i know. i guess i'm all about preventing rifts and this chick is causing one in my house, and i must protect the house of lerok.
I hear ya. I'm the same way, but in a role in which I can't help but be involved.

Either way, the sooner you step back and let these people (who are also adults)
the better you and everybody will be.

Right now you're sitting on the middle of two forces, trying to keep them apart, thinking you can make everybody happy. What you're really doing in maintaining the tension. You're not letting life take it's course and you're preventing an outlet for what's about the happen. Step aside, let the cards fall as they may, and help your loved ones deal with the inevitable fallout.

When your bro finally wakes up, which position do you want to be in? The brother who ****ed up his wedding by turning his family against him, thus ruining his marriage and his life? Or, the bro who said his piece, stepped aside and let things happen, but who is now there for him as an objective third-party?
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:34 AM   #11
koloa
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oh man....your parents got 20k to plunk down?

put a little shame into your brother and his fiancee, maybe they will second guess about having your parents spend that kind of money.
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:40 AM   #12
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The apple something something from the tree.

Unfortunately, this will not end well for your bro. Of course he will not listen to your cautionary WAPCE advice because no one ever does until its too late. Step back and be ready to clean up the carnage.
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:43 AM   #13
AC Lerok
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Layman
I hear ya. I'm the same way, but in a role in which I can't help but be involved.

Either way, the sooner you step back and let these people (who are also adults)
the better you and everybody will be.
easy there chief, i ain't said or done **** to anybody yet. i've just listened and observed.

for my dad to say some of the things he's said regarding the issue means that the boiling point is close to being reached. there's nothing i can do, my brother's a blockhead know-it-all anyway.
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:45 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AC Lerok
easy there chief, i ain't said or done **** to anybody yet. i've just listened and observed.

for my dad to say some of the things he's said regarding the issue means that the boiling point is close to being reached. there's nothing i can do, my brother's a blockhead know-it-all anyway.
Well, you asked for advice on how to bypass the situation. I'm suggesting you leave well enough alone.
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:46 AM   #15
AC Lerok
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Layman
Well, you asked for advice on how to bypass the situation. I'm suggesting you leave well enough alone.
you didn't have to paint me as a meddlesome prick in the process.
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:50 AM   #16
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Tell him that if he can't stand up to his wife about this one thing, how is he ever going to stand up to her once they are married?

Use pride as a weapon.
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Old 02-10-2006, 11:53 AM   #17
Hazdaz
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Skip all that and tell them to just go straight to the divorce preceedings.
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Old 02-10-2006, 12:12 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AC Lerok
you didn't have to paint me as a meddlesome prick in the process.


That's NOT the AC Lerok I've come to know in OT.
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Old 02-10-2006, 12:15 PM   #19
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So, what happened to the "bride's family" pays. I say, stick to tradition, or no wedding. Or, tell your dad if he does want to contribute to offer the $ for a house downpayment and not an event.
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Old 02-10-2006, 12:38 PM   #20
Layman
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AC Lerok
you didn't have to paint me as a meddlesome prick in the process.
Haha. I didn't say that. But getting involved at all (not even to a meddlesome degree) might be a bad idea.

Just my take...
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Old 02-10-2006, 12:39 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharkbait
So, what happened to the "bride's family" pays. I say, stick to tradition, or no wedding. Or, tell your dad if he does want to contribute to offer the $ for a house downpayment and not an event.


If the bride's family can't pay, it's stupid to say "no wedding" for the sake of tradition.
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Old 02-10-2006, 12:41 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Layman


If the bride's family can't pay, it's stupid to say "no wedding" for the sake of tradition.
I know that. But, in this case, it might be a good way of getting them to reconsider the "event" portion of the marriage. It was just a suggestion to get them to reconsider, that's all.
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Old 02-10-2006, 12:46 PM   #23
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Put a little A-1 on it.
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Old 02-10-2006, 01:16 PM   #24
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So he's proposed, he bought a house.... why can't they do the CA thing and just live together for so many years and have common law marriage? Unless she or he wants the health, tax and other benefits, but as Sharkbait's mentioned Clinton signed that partners benefits act. That sucks to be your brother in about two years?
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Old 02-10-2006, 01:26 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AC Lerok
oh, i know. i guess i'm all about preventing rifts and this chick is causing one in my house, and i must protect the house of lerok.

my dad won't NOT pay, because he believes in helping his children. he's somewhat miffed that my bro spent a ton of cash on a house (closing today) without ever having a "who's paying for what" discussion with my parents in regards to the wedding because it's just assumed that my dad will pick up the tab.

certainly, the house is more important. it's a principle thing for my pop, and i feel his frustration.
Yes, the house IS more important. But that's your brother's decision. He should man up, realize that with the house and all, he can't afford a big wedding, and not depend on Daddy.

Sad part is that this woman reeks of strong WAPCE to me, and she'll end up with half the house. What the hell woman refuses to allow her father to give her away, just to throw it in his face? This angst will be hurled at your brother next.
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